Firsts
by Ms. Redd
Summary: Rachel goes through a series of firsts, beginning with the first time she has to make a difficult choice about her future. How will she make her choice, and what will come afterward, especially where Finn is concerned? Picks up where season 2 began.
1. Chapter 1

**Please keep in mind that this story picks up at the beginning of season two, meaning it is just about four months after their first loss at regionals, and Finn and Rachel are just on round 2 (if you count their short time before Jesse as round 1).**

"Finn, we need to talk. I know this isn't one of our pre-arranged date nights, so I made a list of times that I am available tonight for you to come over so we can have this conversation. You can pick the one that interferes the least with your schedule, although I'm sure you don't really have much going on after football practice other than playing video games. And that will just have to wait this time." Rachel handed Finn a sheet of paper with four different 30 minute blocks of time written on it, times that would not conflict with her many extracurricular activities and lessons. Today was Thursday, which meant she had ballet and jazz dance practice, as well as her vocal lesson, and she insisted on being in bed by 9:30 sharp on school nights to ensure that she got the recommended eight hours of sleep and still had time in the mornings for her workout routine. As Rachel knew, stars didn't come out of nowhere, they were made. "You can let me know when you'll be coming over during glee club."

This ambush so early in the morning, before the first bell had even rang, left Finn so surprised and confused that he was barely able to catch Rachel before she walked away from the lockers. Realizing that she was almost gone and he had no clue what was going on, he grabbed her arm, then quickly let go, afraid of hurting her. He was always afraid of hurting her. There was something different about her, something … fragile. Not like Quinn, who he had sometimes thought was stronger even than he was, always making him feel like she controlled the world. Sure, Rachel had a strong personality, too strong at times, and she tried to come across as if she was in charge of everything, but he knew there was more in there. She never let anyone else see it, and he had only gotten small glimpses, but he knew there was something incredibly soft and vulnerable in there. That was one of the reasons he loved her, it was their connection. She turned to look at him, waiting patiently for whatever he had to say. "Rachel, I … I've been trying really hard not to screw things up this time. So, whatever I did wrong, I'm really sorry, ok? Just tell me what it was, and I promise, I won't do it again. Ok?"

"No, Finn, it's nothing like that. You've been a wonderful boyfriend ever since regionals. Really great. It's just … We just need to talk." He was used to being confused. But not with Rachel. In fact, she had always been the one person who he just felt at ease with, she understood him and was always able to communicate with him in a way that never left him wondering what was going on. Not this time.

It was no secret that Finn wasn't the greatest at schoolwork, and Rachel was in more advanced classes than he was. And she didn't come to lunch most days, spending that time "fine-tuning" one of her many talents, as she put it. So, glee club was Finn's one chance during the school day to talk to her. But today, Mr. Schue was in a particularly good mood, taking up the entire period with some upbeat song and elaborate dance moves that Finn was having even more trouble keeping up with than usual. Rachel was out the door practically before the bell rang. She was never one to linger after a class was over, preferring to beat everyone else to her next class, but today she seemed to be especially anxious to leave the glee room. He barely had time to tell her what time he was coming over, and he couldn't help but feel like she might be avoiding him.

Finn had chosen the 6:00-6:30 timeslot to go talk to Rachel. Football practice always made him hungry, and Rachel's dads were great cooks. He hoped that choosing the dinnertime slot would allow him to at least get a little food in while Rachel was dropping her bomb on him. After all, he felt sure that this would be his last opportunity to escape to Rachel's instead of having dinner with his mom, Burt, and Kurt.

He rang the Berrys' doorbell at 5:58. Rachel was a stickler for punctuality, and he didn't want to add tardiness to whatever crime he had apparently already committed. He felt a drop of water slide down his forehead as he waited for someone to answer. He wasn't sure if it was sweat from his nerves, or if the water was dripping from his wet hair. Finn had stumbled through football practice in a fog, and the Titans' new coach was a lot tougher on them than Tanaka had been, making them all stick around until Finn finally got it right. That meant he had to rush through his shower and run out the door to get to Rachel's on time, wet head and all.

Rachel came to the door, and Finn could see pizza boxes on the foyer table. Normally this would excite him, but he had really been looking forward to having one last Berry home-cooked meal. "My dads had a dinner party tonight, so I ordered pizza. Supreme, I know that's your favorite."

"Yeah, that's great. Thanks a lot." Finn lightly slid one arm around her waist onto the small of her back and bent down awkwardly, not sure what kind of greeting was appropriate under the circumstances. Especially since he didn't know what the circumstances actually were. He settled on a soft kiss to the temple, closing his eyes and taking in a deep breath of the sweet, fruity scent of Rachel's hair. He suddenly wished he had taken the time to find out what kind of shampoo she used.

She smiled up at him then dropped her eyes to the floor. "Come on, let's go in the kitchen." Rachel led the way, picking up the pizzas from the table.

"Look, Rachel, to be honest, I'm really nervous here. I've been a wreck all day. I need you to just tell me what's going on. And if you're dumping me, I can just go. You don't have to feed me first." He leaned on the doorway, watching as she took sodas from the fridge and struggled to reach paper plates on the top shelf of the cabinet. He sighed and pulled his hands from his pockets as he walked to stand behind her, reaching over her head and pulling down the plates. She turned to face him.

"I promise you Finn, the last thing I want is to break up with you," she said softly, shuffling the sodas to put her free hand over his heart. For a moment, relief flooded through him. But when he looked at her face, the anxiety came back. She said she didn't want to break up with him, but her face looked so pained, so sad. He didn't know what to think. When she dropped her hand from his chest, he backed up to let her walk around him to the table. He took a moment, then followed her with the plates. When he joined her at the table, she was fidgeting with a large manila envelope, not looking at him or the food. He decided to give her a minute to think over whatever was in that envelope. He opened the top pizza box and put two pieces on her plate, piling the rest onto his own. He closed the box, then folded it in half and walked across the room to shove it in the trash can. When he returned to the table, he waited until after he had taken a sip of his soda to speak again. He hoped maybe the drink would calm him, keep the shakiness in his voice and the quickly forming lump in his throat from coming through.

"So," he said, as casually as he possibly could, "What's in the envelope?" She slid the envelope across the table to him, face down.

"Maybe this would be easiest if you just read it yourself." Finn opened the envelope without even flipping it over to look at the addresses. He pulled out the stack of papers, noticing the official-looking letterhead that was the first page.

"School for Creative and Performing Arts," he mumbled, so low Rachel could barely hear him. She picked at the toppings on her pizza while she watched him read the letter from the prestigious Cincinnati school.

_Miss Berry,_

_We are happy to inform you that we have an opening for you in our fall class. We want you to know that we would have been happy to accept you upon first receiving your application, but it did not seem prudent to take you out of your current high school and insert you into classes here with only four weeks remaining in the spring semester. We regret that this letter is coming to you with such short notice, but we hope you understand that we had to confirm that there would be a spot for you after we accounted for all of our returning students. The first day of the fall semester is September 27, 2010. You are expected to have all provisions made to be in class at that time. _

_This packet contains all the information that you will need to get prepared for your first day as a student at School for Creative and Performing Arts:_

_Registration forms; to be completed and returned no later than September 24, 2010_

_Course catalog_

_Supply list_

_A list of host families who would be happy to provide you with a temporary home in the event that your family chooses not to relocate to Cincinnati_

_We look forward to having you become a member of our family, and we know that your unique set of talents will be appreciated and utilized in our nourishing environment._

Finn flipped through the rest of the pages, barely looking at any of them and stopping at the list of host families. He stared at that one blankly before moving. Suddenly, he jumped up, knocking his chair over in the process. He turned to look at the chair, then at Rachel, then back at the chair, clearly confused over whether to pick it up or move on to the reason he jumped in the first place. He decided to forget the chair. He grabbed Rachel tightly and lifted her out of her chair. He moved so quickly that he knocked over her chair as well. "Oh!" Rachel squealed, but she couldn't help but smile as she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder.

When Finn put her down a few seconds later, he had a huge smile on his face. "Rach, babe, that's awesome! I'm so proud of you!" He couldn't help it, he scooped her into his arms again, lifting her feet off the floor, and kissed her, hard. In that instant, all the awkwardness and fear he had felt over the last 12 hours melted away. And for just a moment, she didn't seem quite so breakable to him. He lowered her back to the floor, and kissed her one last time on the top of her head, smiling and making a mental note to find out what that shampoo was as he smoothed her long hair with his hands. He righted her chair, then his own, and dug into his cold pizza. Rachel stood, hands clasped in front of her, watching him with a smile. But as she stood there, her smile started to fade a bit and something clouded in her eyes.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

As she walked away to her first period class, Rachel felt bad for upsetting Finn and maybe even misleading him. He really had been a great boyfriend since that devastating loss at regionals. That part she was not misleading him on. Rachel had never really lost anything before then. Sure, there had been things she had wanted that she didn't get, but this was different. And she was prepared to spend her entire summer locked away in her room practicing in front of the mirror, only leaving for lessons with her vocal coach and private dance teachers. But Finn didn't let that happen. The day after school ended, he showed up on her doorstep with his copy of the relationship calendar that she had made for the two of them. He told her that he knew she had all her "lessons and stuff" through the summer and he would have football camp, so he wanted to sit down right then and make sure they were going to have time for each other. He said he let her slip away before because he didn't realize how much he needed her, and he was pretty sure that now she needed him too, so he wasn't going to let that happen again. She tried halfheartedly to turn him away, because she felt that she should be grieving over her failure. But really, she was ecstatic that he was putting so much effort into their relationship. And after just a couple of dates, which had been arranged that day in her backyard, the pain of losing was almost forgotten. Finn always made her laugh, and he spent every moment they were together lavishing attention on her and making her feel like a queen. Her relationship with Jesse, the only other boyfriend she'd ever had, had always felt like a production compared to this one. It was like she was always competing for center stage, and not just around other people, but even when it was just the two of them. She liked feeling like someone's girlfriend and not someone's costar, or even supporting actress.

And she wasn't mad at him. For anything. She honestly couldn't think of one thing in the past three months that he had done to upset her. No, he wasn't perfect, he forgot things a lot and often showed up late, but she really only scolded him for those things because they were bad habits that he needed to get rid of, not because she was mad at him. When it came to the things that really mattered in their relationship – considering her feelings, supporting her goals, working to have a good relationship with her dads even though she could tell he still felt a little awkward with them – Finn was beyond reproach. And now she felt like she was being unfair to him. She knew it was awful to tell him that they "needed to talk" without giving him any clues to what it was about. But there was no time to get into details now, and by their next scheduled date it would be too late. She had to make sure he was going to show up at her house that night so they could talk this through.

Rachel only had about three days to make her decision – go to Cincinnati to the School for Creative and Performing Arts, or stay in Lima with Finn and New Directions. She knew 16 was too young to make these kinds of life decisions based on a boyfriend, but she didn't feel right making a big decision like this without at least talking to him about it first. After all, it would affect both of them, and not just romantically. New Directions was probably Finn's only ticket out of Lima, let's face it, he's not going to get any academic scholarships and the Titans' football team was horrible. Without Rachel, he probably didn't even have that chance. Sure, Mercedes and Quinn and Tina all had nice voices, but none of them had the leading lady quality that would be necessary to really showcase Finn's talent at nationals next year. She had to talk to him before she could decide.

It would be hard to be around Finn without telling him what was on her mind, but luckily their paths didn't cross very often throughout the school day unless they made it a point for them to. They had no classes together other than glee club, and Rachel often spent her lunch period practicing either her singing or dance, so he wouldn't be suspicious if she didn't come today. She caught a break in glee club too, Mr. Schue was really pumped up on one of his questionable 80s numbers so there was practically no time left over for chit chat. She let Finn tell her what time he would be coming over, then made something up and ran off to her next class. Once again, she felt awful for acting this way. The look on his face when she hurried away from him broke her heart. She didn't trust herself to talk to him normally, and she just couldn't risk starting this conversation at school. She had to make sure she handled it properly so that he didn't misunderstand anything that was going on. If she let something slip without having time to fully explain the situation, he might think that her desire was to leave _him_, or that she didn't care about his input, neither of which was true. Her greatest fear in all of this was causing him hurt. He had been through enough already. She had to make sure that the conversation was handled with care and that she was fully prepared. She had until 6:00 to get that way.

When Rachel's doorbell rang at 5:50, she jumped. Finn wasn't supposed to be here for 10 more minutes, she wasn't ready for him yet! But as she walked toward the front door, she could see the pizza delivery car through the window. She had completely forgotten about ordering pizza. She grabbed the $20 and the $10 her dads had left her from the hall table, letting the delivery boy keep the change, even though the bill for the two pizzas was barely over $20. She just wanted him gone, she needed every second she had to prepare herself for her conversation with Finn. She left the pizzas on the hall table and went back to practicing what she was going to say in front of the mirror.

When the bell rang again eight minutes later, she tried to calm herself and make herself appear more stable than she felt. She told herself over and over again, "It will be fine, he's going to understand," as she walked to the door. She put her hand on the knob, took a deep breath, and plastered on a smile as she opened the door for her sweet, caring boyfriend. Finn was a mess. His hair was still wet from his post-practice shower and when he greeted her it was clear that he was unsure how to act. The kiss he lightly placed on the side of her head was sweet and caring, but also painfully awkward. She could feel and hear him smelling her hair, and she wanted to cry.

She picked up the pizzas and led Finn into the kitchen, where she had decided the conversation would take place. He always seemed comfortable sitting at a dining table. While he stood in the doorway watching her get drinks from the refrigerator, he asked her to just let him go if she had brought him there to break up with him, and her heart broke. When he came to her aid without her even asking, as always, to get down the plates from the high shelf that she couldn't reach, she tried to make him understand that she absolutely did not want to break up with him, but she could see that he wasn't convinced. She took a seat at the table and picked up the envelope from the school in Cincinnati. When Finn joined her at the table, she couldn't meet his eyes. She just kept turning the envelope over and over in her hands. She watched as he fixed both of their plates and got rid of the empty pizza box, then came back to the table and opened his soda.

"So. What's in the envelope?" he finally asked, with faked lightheartedness. After all of her rehearsal, Rachel just couldn't bring herself to say what had to be said. Instead, she pushed the envelope across the table and told him to read it for himself. She watched as he pored over the acceptance letter, then flipped through the rest of the packet, not seeming to understand what he was looking at. He stopped, staring at the names and addresses of the families who had offered to host Rachel while she attended the school over two hours from home. She could only imagine what he was thinking. When he finally jumped up, knocking over his chair in the process, she jumped too. She had seen him kick chairs over before, but she never dreamed she would be the cause of it. She watched as he looked from the chair, then to her, then back at the chair, clearly confused. Before she knew it he was coming straight at her. All of her instincts, and self-defense training, told her that she should be scared. But she wasn't. She could never be scared of him, never believe that he would actually hurt her. She would just sit in her chair and wait for whatever came next.

What came next was Finn's arms around her waist, lifting her out of the chair and pulling her close to him. She gasped as her breath left her body, but she felt so amazing, so right, in his arms that way. She closed her eyes and buried her face in his shoulder with her arms around his neck, trying to memorize that feeling. She barely heard when her chair went crashing to the floor as well. When he put her down, he was smiling and from her fog, she could hear him telling her how proud he was of her. Before she knew it, she was off her feet again and his mouth was pressed hard against hers. He had never kissed her like that before. He always treated her like a delicate flower, and while she appreciated the care, she sometimes wished he would show more urgency, like the first time he told her he loved her. This kiss had that urgency, and she liked the way it felt. When her feet were safely back on the floor, he placed one more sweet kiss on the top of her head, then righted both of their chairs and sat down to eat his pizza. She watched him as he ate, happy to see him so happy and at ease. But as she stood there, a sadness that she couldn't yet place started to creep over her.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Once Finn had finished his first slice of pizza, he noticed that Rachel was still standing in front of him, watching him with a somewhat strained look on her face. "Hey, sit down and eat, before it gets any colder," he said as he took her small hand in one of his own.

"Yeah. Right." She shook her head to try to clear away the fog as she sat down, still holding his hand as she picked up a piece of pizza with the other. He couldn't help but notice that she seemed distracted, but he tried to push those thoughts away and just bask in her good news, as well as the knowledge that she was still happy to be with him and she wasn't planning on getting rid of him any time soon. As he thought those things, another thought came to him. If what she had to tell him was such great news, why had she seemed so weird all day, and why wasn't she happier now? Again, he tried pushing these thoughts away. He didn't want to ruin what he knew should be a happy moment.

Rachel took a bite of her pizza, then stared at it. Something just didn't feel right. He was so happy, so proud of her. So why was this eerie, sad feeling creeping in on their nice moment? Why couldn't she be as happy about it as he was? She was pulled out of her reverie by the feeling of his thumb gently rubbing circles on the back of her hand on top of the table. She looked from their hands to his face and saw the pride in his eyes as he looked back at her. Suddenly it hit her, where this indefinable sadness was coming from. She was sad, because he wasn't sad. Not even a little. Of course, the last thing she had ever wanted was to hurt this wonderful person that she loved. But it bothered her that he didn't even seem a little distressed about the idea of her leaving Lima in less than a week. She didn't like this feeling, it made her feel selfish, and she hated that feeling. It was one she had often, she knew many people thought she was selfish and demanding because she had such strong ideas about what she wanted and would go to such lengths to get it. But she never wanted to be selfish about Finn.

**I hate to even say it, but please leave reviews, especially if there is something specific you like or don't like. That is the only way I will know!**


	2. Chapter 2

The buzzer blared and the clock flashed 5:30 as Rachel sleepily reached to hit the "snooze" button. Exercise was getting pushed to the back burner this morning to make room for more sleep, or, more accurately, more time trying to analyze her feelings. Normally her morning workout routine got her pumped for the day ahead and made her feel like she could face anything, but she still was not herself after the previous night. After seeing how happy the acceptance letter from the School for Creative and Performing Arts made Finn, Rachel didn't have the heart, or the courage, to bring up the nagging anxiety she felt. They had spent the rest of the evening cuddling on the couch watching several television programs she couldn't even remember anymore. Although she was struggling to push down her hurt over Finn's seeming lack of care about her leaving, she was in fact leaving in three days and she wanted to savor every minute she had left with him. Just because he didn't care didn't mean she could take it that lightly, and if this was to be the end of them, she was determined that they would go out on top. They barely said a word between dinner and Finn leaving, they just sat on the couch inching closer to one another even after it seemed that a piece of paper wouldn't fit between his chest and her back. When he finally left at 9:00, it looked like the end of any other date; she walked him to the front door and he leaned down and kissed her in his normal soft, tender way, holding both her hands in his. As she closed the door behind him and pressed her back against the inside of it, a tear ran down her cheek.

Rachel had lost track of how many times she smacked her alarm, not actually snoozing between buzzers but instead alternating between feelings of anxiety and excitement over her new school, relief that she hadn't broken Finn's heart, and heartbreak of her own that his heart didn't seem cracked even a little bit. She finally forced herself to roll out of bed at 6:30, knowing that if she didn't get up and into the shower right away, she would be late for school. It was going to be her last day at McKinley after all, she had to be in Cincinnati ready to start her new school first thing Monday morning, and she didn't want miss out on anything. She showered, dressed, and fixed her hair and make-up in a daze. The only way she could keep from being an emotional wreck was to block out emotion all together. She decided that, for the time being at least, she would rather be a zombie than a basket case. The nagging little voice in the back of her head, the one that always made her say things that she knew would get her ridiculed and ostracized but that needed to be said anyway, told her that would never work. She was going to have to tell her friends, or her New Directions teammates – the closest thing she had to friends – today about the big move. And although they would probably all act indifferent or even happy to see her go, she knew that they would soon realize how much they were going to miss her talent and some of them would probably even miss her on a more personal level, even if they would never admit it. The only upside was that she already knew what Finn's reaction would be, and she could count on him to keep things together with his positivity about the whole situation.

As Rachel was gathering her first period supplies from her locker, she felt a large hand land lightly on the small of her back. She took a deep breath and braced herself for the emotional onslaught she knew was coming. She loved Finn, and she wanted to spend every second possible with him before leaving for Cincinnati, but she knew how difficult it would be to do that without completely losing her composure and ruining their remaining time together. As Finn kissed the top of her head and she heard him taking a long, deep breath, Rachel wondered about his new fascination with the smell of her hair. But even as she tried to find something weird or quirky in the near-obsession, all she could do was smile. It sometimes took her breath away, being loved like that. She had dreamed about it for almost a year, but when she finally got what she wanted, it was so much more than any of her fantasies prepared her for.

"Good morning. H-how are you feeling today?" Rachel noticed that there was a slight hitch in his voice, like a bit of hesitation. Was he starting to be more affected by her leaving? Or was she just imagining things?

"Umm. Okay I guess. Yeah, pretty good. But, I have to go to English now. I'll see you in glee club. Big announcement today. Glad you'll be there to soften the blow." She reached up on her tiptoes to give him a quick kiss on the cheek and patted his arm as she walked away. She couldn't help herself, she had to steal a peek back at him, and what she saw made her stomach flip. He was standing in the exact same spot with his hand on her locker, staring at it and smiling that adorable crooked half-smile he got around her that made him look like his feelings were some great secret deep inside him that was just so big it just had to sneak its way out. The sight broke her heart. She had to lower her eyes and walk in that brisk, purposeful way that made her look snobbish and stuck-up in order to keep from losing control in that moment. She loved him so much it hurt, and the pain of leaving seemed unbearable in that moment.

After floating her way through English and world history, Rachel dragged herself to glee club. Her heart was beating so hard and fast as she walked through the door that she was sure everyone else could hear or even see it. But almost immediately she saw Finn sitting in their normal area in the front row grinning at her widely, and her heart resumed its normal pace. His effect on her was incredible. She took her seat next to him and he grabbed her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers. Her head found his shoulder and that's how they stayed as the rest of the glee club members and Mr. Schuester made their way into the choir room. "Okay guys, I thought that number yesterday was coming along really well. The eighties are making a comeback, you know! So, let's go ahead and jump right in where we left off yesterday." The low groans and eye rolls from nearly every member of the club seemed to escape Schue's attention.

"Umm, actually Mr. Schue, I think Rachel has an announcement before we start practicing, if that's okay." Finn squeezed her hand, injecting her with a much-needed dose of courage. As Rachel stood to take her place in the front of the room, a spot she was quite familiar with, a chorus of not so low groans escaped the throats of most of her classmates. Unlike Mr. Schuester, Rachel couldn't take the insult so easily. But instead of lashing back as she would normally do, she just lowered her head to keep her critics from seeing the tears welling in her eyes. But before she did, she saw Finn shoot nasty looks toward Brittany, Santana, and Quinn's corner, and jab Puck's shin with his elbow.

"Okay," she began, taking a deep breath, "you guys are used to listening to me stand up here and give speeches about how talented I am, or some of you are not, or what we should or should not be doing in glee club. This time is different. Last spring, when I was getting dumped by Jesse and my birth mom, and Vocal Adrenaline was launching us into a deep funk," as she said this, she shot an apologetic glance in Finn's direction, "I sent an application to the School for Creative and Performing Arts in Cincinnati. Yesterday, I got my acceptance letter. I start on Monday. I'm not stupid enough to think that any of you are going to go home and cry over me leaving – I know how most of you feel about me, and I probably deserve all of it. But I think we all know that this is going to affect glee club and your chances at regionals this year. I'm sorry for that, but my career comes first and this is a giant step toward my future."

She had been mostly avoiding Finn's gaze, trying to make eye contact with as many of her team mates, and Mr. Schuester, as possible. When she finished the speech and her eyes made their way back to his, she was taken aback to find that she couldn't make eye contact with him, her boyfriend, her supporter. Finn was slouched down in his chair, both arms hanging limp at his sides. He was staring at an invisible spot on the floor a few feet in front of his toes, and his eyes were squinted in that adorable way that they do when he is really confused about something, which was kind of often. Only this time it wasn't adorable, it just made her sad.

The buzz in the choir room started almost immediately upon the end of Rachel's well-rehearsed speech. Her friendlier class mates, like Tina, Artie, Mike and Matt, Mr. Schuester, and even Kurt, Mercedes, and Puck, to a lesser extent, made moves to congratulate her, smiling, patting her on the back, and, in the case of Mr. Schue and Tina, even hugging her. Quinn and Santana had snide remarks and further eye rolls in store, and Brittany, as usual, seemed a bit disconnected from what was happening in the room. Finn was the only person who hadn't moved, or even spoken, since Rachel stopped talking. As she was receiving her accolades with a genuine humble, sheepish look, inside she was wondering what had gone wrong. She had broken the news to him before everyone else, and he had taken it so well. He was supposed to be her rock, the one she could turn to when all the others turned on her. Instead, he was acting as if she had just sprung this on him too, as if he hadn't been the one to introduce her announcement. Rachel couldn't quite figure out what was going on, but she didn't like the tight feeling she got in her chest when she looked at him sitting that way.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

"Finn Christopher Hudson, it is 7:15, if you don't get up now, you're going to be late for school! Get moving!"

The truth was, Finn had been awake for almost 30 minutes already. He just hadn't left his bed because he was too busy replaying the previous day's events in his mind. What had started as a normal day managed to take him through the full range of his emotions – his entire school day and football practice had been spent in a state of almost crippling fear of Rachel's announcement, then upon arriving at her house and receiving her news his spirits were instantly lifted to great levels of excitement and pride for his girl, and finally he left Rachel's house with anxiety gnawing at the pit of his stomach. Why had Rachel continued to seem tense and possibly even sad after she gave him her news? It was wonderful news, so it didn't make any sense to him that she would be anything other than thrilled to share it with him.

After finishing their lukewarm pizza, Finn gently asked if it would be alright for him to stay a while and watch television or something. He didn't feel comfortable leaving right after dinner, because although she claimed to be fine he couldn't help believing he saw a sadness behind Rachel's eyes and he just couldn't leave her that way. He dropped onto her dads' expensive couch – he still hadn't gotten used to being around nice furniture that deserved extra care – propping his back against one of the arms and stretching his legs the length of the cushions. Rachel sat directly in front of him, leaning back into his chest and curling her legs up beside her. He wrapped one arm around her waist and draped the other across the front of her shoulders, while she hooked her arms up to hold his forearm in her small hands. Somehow, he had managed to get control of the remote and amazingly enough, Rachel let him keep it. They ended up watching two and a half hours of SportsCenter and Pardon the Interruption and barely speaking, but his favorite part of the night was how she kept wiggling backward to get closer to him. Each time, he would think, "Wow, I didn't even know it was possible to be this close," and the next thing he knew, she had somehow moved even closer.

Although she hadn't mentioned it, he knew he needed to leave when 9:00 rolled around. She would be wanting to get into bed soon, and his mom was probably waiting up for him anyway. She walked him to the door, and although she seemed to be somewhat more like her normal self, she still looked even more fragile to him than usual. As they stood in the open doorway, he gently took both of her hands in his and kissed her on the lips with a feather-soft touch. He had regained his composure since the impulsive kiss earlier in the kitchen and remembered how he meant to always be gentle and careful with her.

"Finny, everything go okay?" He was greeted by Carol watching 20/20 or some other news magazine show in the living room. When he talked to her before football practice, he tried to conceal his anxiety over his meeting with Rachel but he had never been good at hiding things from his mother. Spending nearly his entire life just the two of them had that effect.

"Yeah mom, everything's good," he answered as he kissed her cheek, "but I'm beat so I'm going to head on up to bed." He started climbing the stairs to his room then stopped just before he was out of her line of sight. "Mom, I need some shampoo. Can you get it for me tomorrow?" She nodded, "Aussie," he added, then seeing the confused look on her face, "It's in a purple bottle, with a kangaroo."

"I know what Aussie is," she mumbled under her breath as she shook her head at ever-more confusing son.

Finn shook the thoughts away as his mom's voice brought him back to the present. He really did have to get moving or he wouldn't even have time to see Rachel before the first period tardy bell rang. His memories had dredged up a nagging feeling that things were not as good as he had thought they were when he left Rachel at her front door, but he kept pushing them back down. She had shared great news with him, told him several times how much she loved him, and most importantly of all, assured him that she didn't want to break up with him. Sure, he knew going to different schools would be something to get used to, but it's not like they saw each other much outside of glee club anyway. They would still get all their normal dates; she was just going to the other side of town, right? As he stood in the shower washing his hair, a half-smile crossed his lips. One more memory flooded his mind. After dinner and before watching sports highlights in the living room, Finn had told Rachel that he had to use the restroom. While he was there, he had snuck a peek behind the gold star dotted shower curtain to figure out just what that smell was that always seemed to enchant him every time he hugged her or leaned in for a kiss. After his mom went to the store today, he would be able to get a whiff of it, and of her, whenever he wanted.

It should be hard for Finn to find Rachel in the crowded hallway; she was about a head shorter than nearly everyone else also pushing to get to class or their lockers. But for some reason, his eyes were always drawn straight to her no matter how many other people were around. He walked up behind her and gently placed his hand on the small of her back just as she finished pulling her English binder out of her locker and shut the door. He thought she seemed reluctant to greet him, but he tried to push the feeling down by telling himself he was just being paranoid. There was no reason for her avoid him.

"Good morning. H-how are you feeling today?" he asked when her eyes finally met his after he kissed the top of her head softly and yet again breathed in the lovely smell of her. They didn't have much time before she had to leave for class on the other side of the school, but she assured him everything was fine and said some things that made him feel great about getting to be there for her as she told their glee team mates about leaving McKinley. As she walked away, his hand was like a magnet drawn to her locker, like his body would do anything just to be close to her or anything of hers. The other students moved in waves around him as he stood in the hall, hand pressed against her locker, thinking of just how much he loved her and how incredibly proud he was of her and what she had accomplished. There was no way she really understood how his life had changed after she came into it. Before her, he was just going through the motions, pretending to be what everyone else wanted him to be – Mr. Quarterback for Tanaka, Mr. Jock (yeah, there was a difference) for Puck, and Mr. Popular for Quinn. But for Rachel, he only had to be Finn. He was trying not to look like an idiot in front of all his class mates swirling around him, but somehow half a grin still managed to slip out in spite of his efforts. She always had that effect on him.

He didn't even try to hide the smile that he wore as he watched her walk into the choir room nearly two hours later. At first she looked incredibly tense, he guessed she was worried about breaking the news of the transfer to their glee classmates. Sure, she wasn't really at the top of most of their lists when it came to popularity or likeability, but they all knew how talented she was and would miss her for that reason, if for no other. He would have smiled even more widely, if he could have, when he saw the way her face changed as their eyes met. It was as if someone had flipped a switch and turned off all of her negative feelings. He remembered what she had said to him earlier that morning in the hall, "Glad you'll be there to soften the blow." And that is exactly what he would do, whatever it took to make this easier on her.

When she took her seat next to him, her head instantly dropped to his shoulder and her fingers laced into his. "Perfect." The word appeared in his head seemingly out of nowhere, but he couldn't argue with it. He was still thinking about Rachel and how amazing she was when Mr. Schuester came in and announced that they would be revisiting the painful song and dance number from the previous day. At the risk of feeling selfish for wanting to avoid that embarrassment almost as much as he wanted to help his girlfriend, Finn quickly decided that it was the perfect time to give Rachel that little nudge that he knew she would need to share her news with the rest of the group. Giving her hand a gentle squeeze, he interrupted his overly excited teacher. "Umm, actually Mr. Schue, I think Rachel has an announcement before we start practicing, if that's okay."

Schuester didn't say anything, just nodded and bowed his head as he waited for whatever it was Rachel was going to say. After a year of being her teacher, he had become accustomed to taking a backseat to Rachel's thoughts and feelings. The other glee club members didn't take it so well though. There were several groans and even a few rude comments throughout the room. Puck, who was sitting behind him, was particularly audible, so Finn threw an elbow into his shin. At the same time, he shot a nasty look toward the back corner where Quinn, Santana, and Brittany sat. He had hoped that the events of the previous spring would have injected some compassion and understanding into Quinn's cool persona, but he wasn't sure, and that made him sad. He would never love her the way he did Rachel, he hadn't even when they were together, but he would always care about her and hope for her to become the best version of herself.

Although he knew it wouldn't win him any "boyfriend of the year" awards to admit this, Finn didn't listen all that closely to what Rachel was saying. He already knew what the big announcement was, so he set his mind free to wander, touching on everything from football to food to just exactly what _was _under that plaid skirt and silly unicorn sweater. It was about that time that he felt a need to make eye contact with her again to let her know he was still there. "Last spring, when I was getting dumped by Jesse and my birth mom, and Vocal Adrenaline was launching us into a deep funk," and at that moment she looked sheepishly at him. Without a word, their eyes were communicating. "I'm sorry. I know, I never would have been in that position if I had just come back when you asked and not given in to Jesse in the first place," hers said. He did his very best to make sure his own eyes were letting her know that was all in their past, that all he cared about was their present, which was amazing.

Finn planned to drift off again – he knew that Rachel's speeches could take on a life of their own and go on for a while – but before he could , he got the feeling that he had just been punched in the stomach and had every ounce of breath knocked out of him. He couldn't have heard that right. Cincinnati? That was over two hours away; it was practically Kentucky, for goodness sake! He didn't understand, did he miss something? Rachel gave him the letter from the school, had she taken out something before she showed it to him? Now that he thought about it, he could recall bits and pieces that he must have overlooked the previous night in his excitement to congratulate her. Was the return address in Cincinnati? He couldn't remember. What he did remember was the last page of the packet, a list of host families. He hadn't thought much of it at the time, but now it was starting to make sense. Either her dads were going to move, or Rachel was going to go live with some family she had never met and go to school … in Cincinnati. What if they had a teenage son? "Stop!" a voice in his head screamed. He knew that was not what was important at the moment. What was important was that eight months ago he had lost her because he was stupid about wanting to be with other girls. Now he was about to lose her again because he was too stupid to read a letter. The previous day was making so much more sense. No wonder she was so nervous about showing him the letter, and no wonder she had been so distant since she did. She showed him her ticket out of Lima, and out of his life, and all he did was go on about how great it was. She thought he didn't care that she was leaving, maybe even that he was happy to see her go. Oh God. What now? How could he make up for yet another stupid, this time huge, mistake?

When he started to come out of his stupor, he guessed that she must have finished her speech, because the others were patting her on the back and telling her how "awesome" her news was. He tried to regain his composure as she walked back toward him, but he was afraid it was too late as he studied the look of concern on her face. And as he stared at that beautiful face, into those rich brown eyes, he made a decision. He wouldn't tell her he had been confused. Even through the worry on her face as she studied him, she could see the twinkle in her eyes each time someone else patted her on the back and told her how happy they were for her. He would make sure to let her know over the next two and a half days exactly how much he loved her and would miss her (that part was a must, he had to make up for his blunder from the previous night), but through it all he would support her dream just like she expected him to do. He was determined to be exactly what she needed for the next 60 hours. It was the only thing he could do.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Finally feeling stable enough to trust his own legs, Finn jumped up to grab Rachel's hand and walk her the rest of the way back to their seats. When they sat down he clutched one of her tiny hands in both of his and squeezed. "You were great up there babe," he told her. She was still looking at him kind of strangely. He knew she had to have caught at least some of his stupor before. He wasn't exactly good at hiding when he was confused.

"Well, in light of this little, I'm sorry BIG announcement; I think practicing can be put on hold this once. Instead, why don't we celebrate what Rachel has done for us in our relatively short time together? We will use today's class to reminisce on the great experiences we had last year. I may even be able to find a video or two on here somewhere …" As Mr. Schuester started clicking around on his laptop, the room became abuzz with talking and giggling.

Somehow, amidst all the commotion, Rachel and Finn were able to retreat into their own world. "So, what was that all about?" she asked him.

"I, uh, what do you mean?" Smooth, Hudson.

"Come on Finn, don't play dumb with me. I saw that look on your face when I was talking. You looked like someone just asked you to find the square root of 592 in your head. Why?" He should have known better than to try to play it off as if nothing was going on. She was better than that. So it was on to plan B – lying.

"No, no, it's not like that. I was just thinking about all the stuff there will be for you to do in the city. Burt took me to a Reds game back in the spring, and I was trying to remember the name of this really awesome restaurant we went to down by the river." Was she going to buy it? He hoped so. He didn't want to bring her down from her superstar high by telling her that he just had his heart crushed upon finding out that his girlfriend was moving 150 miles away.

Rachel sensed that something was off with Finn, that he wasn't telling her everything. But he was trying so hard to maintain his positive attitude that she didn't want to take it away from him by pushing too hard. "Okay, well, just make sure to let me know when you remember what it was called," she smiled warmly at him and he reached around her shoulder to pull her closer. "Oh, if you're not too busy, I was thinking maybe you would want to go shopping with me for supplies and stuff for my new school this weekend," she said quietly, almost into his shoulder. "Only if you want to," she added quickly.

He gently lifted her chin with his fingertips, making their eyes meet. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."


	3. Chapter 3

Finn didn't even realize Saturdays had an 8:00 A.M. But, if getting up early was what it took to get to spend some time with Rachel before she left for Cincinnati in 48 hours, that was what he would do. Once he had realized what was really going on with Rachel's new school – a 150-mile move and therefore much less time together – he resolved to do whatever he had to do to show her how he really felt over the next two days. He had already messed up once by not letting her know that he didn't want her to go; he couldn't make it worse by failing to show her how much he would miss her. She had spent Friday night with her dads, going over final details and signing paperwork for the arts school, so he had already lost that time. This was going to be his last chance for a while to spend real time with the girl he loved.

When Carol came into the kitchen, startled by the noises of Finn trying to take care of his own breakfast, she didn't quite know how to respond to seeing her son up and moving at that time of day on a weekend. "Sweetheart, you're up pretty early. Everything ok? Are you sick?" She made a move as if she was going to put her hand on his forehead the way she had when he was a little boy.

Finn turned away from her outstretched hand, "No mom, I'm fine," but even as he spoke the lie, his voice cracked and the tears began to well in his eyes.

"Hey, hey, hey! Come over here and sit down. What is going on?"

Finn dropped into one of the kitchen chairs and rested his elbows on the table, his forehead propped on the heels of his hands. "Rachel," he began, trying to stop the tears that he knew were threatening to break free at any moment. "I'm losing her."

"I, I don't understand," his mother responded gently. "Just the other night you told me she wasn't breaking up with you, that everything was good."

"She's not breaking up with me. And I thought everything was good, but that just shows how stupid I really am," Carol placed her hand gently on her son's arm. She knew Finn wasn't a little boy anymore, but it broke her hurt to see him hurting and she wanted to somehow fix his boo-boo all the same. "That school I told you about, it's in Cincinnati," he added slowly, raising his head to meet his mother's caring gaze. "And she's going. And I didn't even tell her how much it hurts me and how I don't want her to go, and now it's too late because she's so excited about the opportunities she will have there and there is _no way_ I am going to be the one to bring her down." He took a break and a deep breath to try to regain his composure. "And the worst part is, I was too stupid to figure it out in the first place, so not only did I not tell her that I didn't want her to go, I made a big huge deal about how great it was and how happy I was." He threw his hands into the air, making a 'fun' gesture. "So now she thinks I want her to go and I won't even miss her or anything." Carol put her hand over Finn's to stop him compulsively picking at the hem of the tablecloth.

"Did she tell you that?"

"Well, no. But she has to think that! She has been really sad, and practically avoiding me ever since she told me about it. I tried to drop hints yesterday that I wanted to spend the evening with her and her dads – anything to see her before she leaves – but she just didn't go for it. And she's not stupid like me; she just didn't want me around." Carol jumped slightly as Finn's fist hit the table.

"Ok, first of all, you're not stupid. Secondly, sweetie, did it ever occur to you that maybe her dads wanted that time with her? They are her parents after all, and if you were leaving me in two days, I would be fighting for every second I could get with you. And you know I think Rachel is a sweet girl, a little different, but sweet, but I wouldn't want to share you with her either. Consider how much you love her, then consider that her dads have been loving her for 16 years. This isn't easy for them either."

Finn lifted Carol's hand off his arm and kissed it. "You're amazing mom. I don't know how you've done this; the past 16 years by yourself … it's pretty incredible. I probably would have killed me by now. Thank you." He bent down to hug her from behind on his way to get ready. It was going to be a tough day. When he told Rachel that he wouldn't miss shopping with her for the world, he meant it, but he knew that it would break his heart. Everything she bought would remind him of why they were shopping, pouring just a little more salt into his wound.

As he was driving to pick Rachel up for their shopping trip, Finn decided that he didn't want to show up empty-handed. He needed flowers. He had made a resolution during glee club to devote every second to showing her how much he loved her and how much he would miss her, and flowers might help a little. When he realized he wouldn't have time to go to a florist and get her something she really deserved, he again cursed his own stupidity. Why didn't he plan ahead? Instead of pouting last night because she wanted to spend the evening with her dads, which she had every right to do – his mom was right about that – he could have been at a florist, ordering something beautiful that he could have picked up on his way to her house. Since he hadn't thought of that the night before, he would have to settle for a grocery store bouquet. It wasn't nearly what his beautiful girl deserved, but it was better than nothing. It would have to do.

Waiting for Rachel to answer the door, Finn self-consciously smoothed the front of his shirt. He got the feeling she thought he wore too much plaid, but he also knew that she liked him in blue, so blue plaid it was. She opened the door and he couldn't help but smile. She, too, was wearing plaid – a red and blue plaid skirt with a polka-dot blouse tucked into it. When he followed her skirt down, he saw her trademark knee socks and patent leather black shoes, and just enough of her gorgeous legs. He knew that she took a lot of grief for her clothes, but he actually loved the way she dressed. She was completely unique and that made her special to him. No matter how many times she got ridiculed for what she was wearing, she had never changed her style, for long anyway. He knew he wasn't that brave. The more time he spent with her, the more he realized why, even though he found her to be amazing, other students at McKinley despised her – they were threatened by her. She knew exactly who she was and what she wanted, and while that came off as her being conceited or snobby at times, that was only because her peers were not as comfortable in their own skins as she was.

"Are those for me?" He had been so busy admiring her that he almost didn't hear her speak to him.

"Umm, yeah. Sorry they're not nicer, I kinda didn't really plan ahead," his face glowed with his embarrassment at the admission and he stared at the floor, handing her the flowers.

"Are you kidding me? Lilies are my favorite! They're amazing," Rachel placed her free hand on his shoulder and tip-toed to kiss him on the cheek. "Why don't you come in while I find something to put them in? We'll add 'vase' to our shopping list today. I mean, we have plenty here, but these deserve something special. You can have a seat on the couch while I'm taking care of them."

"I'll just stay here, if that's okay." Finn was standing in the kitchen doorway, and he didn't want to let her out of his sight if he didn't have to. He loved watching her move around her house. She was so comfortable, so at ease there, and it was like every move she made was part of a dance. She didn't walk across the kitchen to the cabinet, she glided. He felt like he needed to memorize those movements.

She turned to smile at him, "Whatever you want."

Once the flowers were safely in a vase on the middle of the kitchen table, Rachel grabbed her purse and they were out the door. Finn tried to be gentlemanly most of the time, but this time he made sure to get it all right. He practically raced her to the truck to ensure that he would be able to open her door and help her into the passenger seat. When he got back to the driver's side, he smiled to see that she had already lifted the arm rest and moved to the middle of the bench-style seat. As soon as they were safely on the road and into gear so that his right hand was free, he used it to lift hers to his mouth for a soft kiss. He didn't let it go again until they were in the mall parking lot.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Rachel felt so blessed to have parents like hers. Some days she was actually grateful to Shelby for giving her up, because it meant she got to have two amazing dads who loved her probably more than Shelby ever would have. When they had explained their plan to her the night before, she had wanted to cry. They were going to leave Saturday morning to go meet with Rachel's host family and make sure there wouldn't be any problems. They were taking most of her things with them, so all she would have to bring with her on Monday was an overnight bag. They had also talked to the headmaster of the school and gotten him to agree to let her check in at lunch on Monday, explaining that the short notice was making the transition very difficult and the extra hours, allowing her to leave Monday morning instead of Sunday night, would help smooth the bumps. Then they went to AmTrak and bought her a train ticket, asking, "So, do you think you can find someone, Finn maybe, to bring you to the station Monday morning?" The way they looked at her told her that all that had been for her and Finn. They weren't like the fathers of most teenage girls. They had never acted like her relationship with Finn was 'puppy love' or like it was anything less than 100% real, and they had never seemed scared or threatened by it.

"Thank you again for everything you're doing to give me some extra time with Finn before I leave," Rachel said as she cleared away the breakfast dishes.

"Now sweetie, this was all a practical decision," one of them answered.

"That's right dear, by the time you get there Monday we will probably just be finishing up all that paperwork anyway so there would be no point in you just sitting there waiting for hours while we do all that. And besides, you didn't think we would send you off to go live with someone we had never met did you? Like he said, it's a matter of practicality." But as he finished, Rachel saw him shoot a wink at his partner. She smiled to herself and again congratulated herself for her good luck on landing in such an amazing family. "Oh! Look at the time. Sweetie you need to get in the shower, Finn will be here soon, and we need to get on the road. We'll probably be gone by the time you are finished, so have a great weekend, and we'll see you Monday." Her dad took the towel she was using to wipe the table out of her hands and shooed her off to the bathroom.

"I love you both, so much," she said, kissing each of them on the cheek on her way to her bathroom. As she was washing her hair, she thought about Finn. She decided to leave the conditioner on a little longer than usual, just in case it might make the smell a bit stronger.

Standing in the doorway of her walk-in closet, Rachel cursed her wardrobe. She had been teased about her clothes nearly her entire life, and it had never bothered her. She liked the way she dressed, and she thought that was all that mattered. But since she had started dating Finn, she had often longed to be more beautiful. More like Quinn. Finn was incredible. He was sweet, he was compassionate, he was popular, and he was gorgeous. He deserved a girlfriend like Quinn (without the cheating and babygate, of course), and she wanted so badly to be that girlfriend for him. Now that she was leaving, she realized just how much that scared her. What if, once she was gone, he found someone like that? Or worse, what if he actually went back to Quinn? Rachel would understand if he found a new girlfriend while she was gone, but she couldn't stand the thought of him being with Quinn again. She had lied to him. She had abused him and he didn't deserve that. No matter what ever happened between them, Rachel didn't want to see him end up with someone who didn't deserve him. "But what if you don't deserve him?" the nagging voice inside her said. "You're leaving him, does he deserve that?" Rachel sat in the middle of her very 'Rachel' closet and cried at that thought.

By the time she composed herself and looked presentable, Finn was ringing the doorbell. When she opened the door to let him in, he was holding a beautiful bouquet of plastic-wrapped lilies. It took all her strength not to cry again. And when she offered for him to sit in the living room while she found a container worthy of holding the precious flowers, he declined, instead standing in the doorway watching her with that half-smile on his face. She couldn't help but wonder once again just how much she really did deserve him.

The ride to the mall was nearly silent, but perfect. Sometimes they didn't need to speak. She had chosen to sit in the middle of the seat, much closer to Finn than to the passenger window, without being invited. Somehow, she didn't think he minded. As he drove with his left hand, his right grasped hers the entire ride. She had never told him, but she thought there was something very sexy about riding that way. She was so content just being with him in his old truck, which she secretly loved for all of its rustic qualities, that she was actually disappointed to see that they had arrived at their destination. She knew that the ride had been much more pleasant than the actual shopping trip itself would be. It was going to break her heart to buy all these things then look at him and remember exactly why she was buying them.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Both Rachel and Finn trudged through the shopping trip just trying not to lose control. Rachel, who normally got excess enjoyment out of using her dads' credit card to buy things for herself, had to force herself to pick up each item on the list provided by her new school. Instead of poring over each decision and making sure that she had the perfect notebooks and highlighters (her new school required a lot more of these things than she already had for McKinley, it wasn't a public school after all), she picked up the first things she saw and crossed them off her list one by one. She just wanted to get out of that mall.

Finn wasn't sure what to think about Rachel while they were shopping. It wasn't like her to settle for the first thing she saw. Occasionally he would step in and try to make suggestions, showing her things that seemed more "her," but she only brushed him off, moving down her list as quickly as possible. It seemed that she couldn't get out of the mall's office supply store quickly enough, and he wasn't sure how to take that. He tried to convince himself that it was only because she was as uncomfortable shopping for her new school as he was, and not that she was anxious to be done and get away from him.

"Well, I think that's it." Rachel dropped a new planner into her basket and looked at Finn expectantly. "Ready to go? I can't get out of this place fast enough."

"Umm, yeah, I guess. If you are. Are you sure you don't need anything else? I mean, maybe you need some new clothes or something. You know, you never know what the weather might be like there." Really? He wanted to hit himself. The weather difference in Cincinnati? Come on. He would be lucky if she didn't break up with him on the spot based on pure stupidity, but he was grasping at straws. He didn't want to have to take her home so soon.

"No. I'm ready to leave. The faster we get out of this mall, the faster we get back to my house, just the two of us." She hoped that statement wouldn't mislead him, she wasn't planning on anything too intimate happening, she still didn't think she was ready for that, but even as she said it she realized that she wasn't sure she would stop him if he tried. In her current emotional state, feeling the way she was about having to leave him in less than two days, it probably wouldn't take a lot to persuade some of her clothes off of her.

"Oh," he replied, lowering his eyes and trying to hide his pleased smile. And even though spending the rest of the day in her house alone amounted to the same thing it had Thursday night – watching television on the couch and barely talking, and Finn not getting to second base, or even trying for that matter – in his mind it was the perfect day.


	4. Chapter 4

Instead of ringing the doorbell when he arrived at Rachel's house Sunday morning, Finn just opened the door that she promised she would unlock for him and called her name. "Be ready in a minute! But you can come on up!" He shut the door and wiped his feet carefully on the rug, then scolded himself for thinking about what he might get to see when he got to her room. But when he got upstairs, what he saw was nothing. Or rather, he saw no one. Rachel was nowhere to be seen, but as he walked farther into the room he could see that she was in her closet. And she was in her closet because she was not yet dressed. Immediately upon catching a glimpse of her matching hot pink panties and strapless bra, Finn spun on his heels so that his back was to the closet. For the entire four months they had been dating, even longer than that if he was being honest, Finn had been dying to see that very sight. But he didn't want to see it that way. Something felt wrong about watching her like that, without her permission. When … if … that time came, he wanted it to be mutual, and special.

"Okay, ready!" Rachel stepped out of the closet, looking adorable in a blue polka dot dress that tied around her neck, and broke Finn out of his reverie. "What do you think, do I look ok?" She did a quick spin and smoothed the front of her dress with both hands then took a small bow.

"Are you kidding me? You look great. You _always_ look great." He moved to put his arms around her waist and smiled down at her.

"Aww, that's so sweet," she said, lowering her eyes. "But we're spending the day with your mom, Sunday dinner at that, and I want everything to be just right. I'm afraid she's not going to like me. A lot of people don't."

"Hey," he interrupted, lifting her chin so that her eyes met his, "you don't need to try to impress my mom. She likes you just fine, she knows how much I love you, and that means everything. Okay! Let's get moving. She likes you, but let's not push it by being late." He winked at her as he put one arm around her shoulders and moved her toward the door. Rachel giggled as she hooked her arm behind Finn's back and weaved her fingers into the belt loop on his hip.

When Finn pulled his truck back into his own driveway, he was amused to see that Rachel looked nervous. Rachel didn't get nervous over anything. She loved performing in front of crowds, the bigger the better, and she had more confidence than anyone he had ever met. But here she was, taking deep breaths and smoothing her dress repeatedly, all over hanging out with his mom. He placed one hand over both of hers to stop the near-obsessive movement. "It's fine. You've met my mom before, and like I said already, she likes you. There is nothing to worry about."

He walked around to the passenger side of the truck to help Rachel out, and was startled when she didn't move at all when he opened the door. "I love you, _so much_," she said when she finally turned to look at him with tears in her eyes.

"I know," he replied, cradling her face in his hand and tracing small circles on her cheek with his thumb. "And I love you too. This is going to be fine, ok, trust me." He gave her a soft, slow kiss then rested his forehead on hers, looking into her eyes and trying to make her understand that he was on her side. "Let's do this."

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Running a comb through her wet hair, Rachel went to unlock the front door for Finn. It was easier to have him let himself in, just in case she wasn't ready when he got there. Normally she was extremely punctual, but being a basket case had taken its toll on her morning routine. Everything was taking longer than normal the past couple of days. And choosing an outfit to wear to have Sunday dinner with Mrs. Hudson was proving to be incredibly difficult. She walked back to her closet feeling overwhelmed by the decision. "Rach, you ready to go?" Finn called up from the foyer.

"Be ready in a minute! But you can come on up!" It didn't fully register to Rachel that she was inviting her boyfriend into her room as she stood in her closet in her underwear. Although, if she was being perfectly honest with herself, there was a part of her that was ok with it. She heard Finn enter the room, but he didn't say anything to her, and when she looked out into her bedroom, she saw that he had turned his back to the closet and was pretending to study her "Rent" poster. It was just like him, she decided, to take an opportunity to sneak a peek at her and transform it into a chance to show her just how truly incredible and respectful of a boyfriend he was. "Okay, ready! What do you think, do I look ok?" She did a little spin for him as she stepped out of the closet. She tried not to show how nervous she was about spending the day with his mom.

His compliments made her feel great, but they didn't ease her concerns. By the time they had arrived in Finn's driveway, she had started compulsively smoothing her dress and taking deep breaths to try to bring her heart rate back to normal. She didn't initially notice that Finn had opened her door, waiting to help her out of the truck. When she finally turned toward him, she said the first thing that came to her mind. "I love you, _so much_." She blinked hard, trying to hold back the tears.

"I know. And I love you too," Finn continued, trying to convince her that there was nothing to be nervous about. Although he didn't really succeed in that respect, he did succeed in making her want to get out of the truck, even if it was only to spend more time with him. "Let's do this."

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

"Mrs. Hudson, lunch was amazing. Thank you so much for inviting me," Rachel was in the kitchen helping Carol clean up the remnants of lunch. "I-It means a lot that you would include me in your family tradition."

Mrs. Hudson placed her hand lightly on Rachel's forearm. "Well, you mean a lot to Finn. That makes us even, don't you think?" Carol gave the teenager a warm smile to show that she was sincere. "So, what are your plans for the day? Does my boy have any big romantic things in store for you?"

"Actually, I think we were just going to hang out here for the day, then we're having dinner at Breadsticks tonight."

"Oh," Carol replied. "Well that's, relaxing." She was a little surprised that Finn hadn't pulled out more stops for their last day together for a while.

"But that's what I wanted. I don't need big romantic gestures; I just want to spend the day with him. Well, since, you know, tomorrow …" Rachel's voice trailed off with just a hint of a quiver.

Carol placed a hand on Rachel's shoulder, "Well, I'll stay out of your way, but I'll be here all day if you kids need anything." She squeezed gently then dropped her dish towel on the counter and left the room as Finn was entering, carrying the last of the lunch dishes from the dining room. "Just put those in the sink, I'll take care of them later."

Finn's gaze followed his mom out of the room before he turned to Rachel. "Are you sure you just want to hang around here all day? It's your last day in Lima." He set the dishes in his hand into the sink.

Rachel took a sharp breath before responding. She didn't want him to hear her voice shaking in response to his last statement. "I absolutely want to spend this day right here with you." She smiled up at him as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close.

"Well, in that case, let's get moving."

"What? But I just said I wanted to stay here."

"Yeah, but you don't want to stay right here in my kitchen all day, do you?" He took her by the hand and led her out the back door. Over the summer, all of their time together had been spent either on "real" dates or at Rachel's house, so she had never actually seen Finn's backyard before. She thought it was beautiful. There were colorful flowers alongside the house, and an adorable stone birdbath in the middle, but the best part was two big trees in the back corner with a hammock strung between them. "You like that?" Finn asked, following her line of sight. "Come on." He led her to the hammock and flopped into it, pulling her down on top of him with that crooked smile that she found so irresistable.

Rachel giggled. "I've always found hammocks so … relaxing," _and sexy_ she added in her mind. Once they got settled and the hammock fell into a rhythm Finn wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close so that she was lying on her side and her head rested on his shoulder. "Yep, definitely relaxing," _and sexy_ she couldn't help but add, again, as she sighed into his chest. He laughed and squeezed her a little bit tighter.

Many mothers would not be happy at the sight of their teenage son lying with his girlfriend, holding her close, especially after the Hudsons' little scare the previous year. But as Carol watched Finn and Rachel from her kitchen window, all she could think about was how happy her son looked. She wasn't worried about what could happen out there, she could see them clearly from her spot at the window, after all. And besides, she had complete faith in Finn and even Rachel, although she didn't know her very well. When her son told her that he just wanted to spend as much time with his girlfriend as possible before she moved, Carol believed him. They had the relationship many parents would envy, and when Finn told her something like that she knew she could trust him.

"What … where am … oh God!" Rachel thought as she roused from her impromptu nap in Finn's hammock. "How did I let myself fall asleep?" she berated herself. The tears overflowed from her eyes as she thought about the precious minutes she had lost by making that mistake. But even as she cried, she couldn't bring herself to wake Finn. He looked so peaceful, so content. She had never seen him sleeping like that before. Sure, she had seen him fall asleep in class, but this was completely different. Before she could stop it she allowed herself to imagine what it would be like to wake up to that more often. "Don't be stupid," she told herself, "even if I weren't leaving, that wouldn't happen. We're in high school … But still, it is nice."

Startled at the sound of the back door closing, Rachel turned toward the house to see Mrs. Hudson walking toward her with a tray of lemonade. "Hey, nice to see you're finally moving again. I brought you some drinks to help you get going." She quickly began swiping the tears off her cheeks, but it was too late. "Rachel, dear, are you crying. Is something wrong? Finn didn't …"

"Oh, no no no. We were just sleeping, and I really, really didn't mean to fall asleep. It just …" Rachel was stopped by Carol's hand on her arm.

"It's fine sweetie. I checked on you occasionally from the window. I mean, I trust you guys, but you are teenagers, and I'm not stupid."

"Well, thank you, but I'm just really upset that I fell asleep. That's not what I had planned at all. I mean, it's the last 24 hours that I will be in Lima, and the last few hours that I actually get to spend with him, and I just wasted," she checked her watch, "three hours! Seriously, we were asleep for three hours? How is that even possible?" Rachel began to tear up again and Carol sat down the tray of drinks and pulled over a lawn chair, taking Rachel's hands in hers.

"Look, Rachel, just because your mind and your body weren't awake, that doesn't mean your heart wasn't. And by the looks on both of your faces when I looked out that window, your heart knew exactly where it was, and it was happy. I don't see how you can call that wasted time." She squeezed Rachel's hands, and Rachel returned the gesture with a warm smile. "And I know this whole moving thing scares you, and I won't lie to you, it's going to be hard. But Rachel, it will work out. Ok? One way or the other." That caught Rachel off guard. Their plan was to work on a long-distance relationship, talking on the phone regularly and seeing each other whenever they could. What exactly was the other way?

"Ok, I think it's time to wake sleeping beauty over there." Rachel giggled and nodded in agreement. "Finn, honey, you need to wake up now," Carol shook her son gently and he moaned and buried his face in Rachel's hair. Rachel's face glowed with embarrassment, she didn't want his mom to get the wrong idea, but Carol only laughed. "Let's try this again," she said to her young partner in crime, "Finn, wake up, it's time for dinner."

"Huh? What's going on?" Finn tried to sit up and almost tipped both Rachel and himself out of the hammock. He rubbed his eyes and opened them to see the women he loved holding hands and laughing at him until their faces glowed. "Haha, very funny. Thanks a lot." Rachel was particularly grateful for the humorous moment, because it gave her something to blame her tears on if Finn noticed.

"Ok, so dinner's not exactly ready, but you two do need to get moving or you're going to miss your date night. Surely you don't want to spend the rest of your evening in my backyard." Carol left the tray of lemonade and went back into the house to start her own dinner.

"Rach, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep." Finn really meant it. He felt awful about falling asleep and losing all that time. They only had a few hours left, so every second counted and he had just given away thousands of them.

"It's ok. We may have been asleep, but our hearts still knew we were together," Rachel smiled as she recalled what Carol had said to her. She ran her fingers through his hair and kissed him, squeezing her eyes tight and trying to memorize the moment. "Now, like your mom said, we better get moving if we want to make Breadsticks."

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Finn wasn't exactly thrilled to see Quinn, Puck, Mercedes, and Kurt across the dining room as he and Rachel entered Breadsticks. It wasn't that he hadn't gotten over Quinn, to be honest that didn't take very long at all. He hadn't wanted to admit it, but the first thing he had felt when Rachel told him that Puck was the father of Quinn's baby was relief. Of course, that was soon followed by excruciating pain and white-hot anger over the betrayal perpetrated by his girlfriend and so-called best friend, leading to a pretty violent confrontation in the choir room. No, he was definitely over Quinn, but that didn't make being around her and Puck any less awkward, especially now that they were an official couple. He wanted to work on it; he did kind of miss being friends with Puck for some reason, but this was not the right time. This was Rachel's time. When the hostess seated them in the corner, Finn noticed his classmates' eyes on him so he gave them a slight wave then averted his eyes. He didn't want to encourage any of them to come over.

"Umm, do you think it would be okay if I sit, umm …" Finn motioned toward the spot in the booth next to Rachel rather than across from her. He just felt a need to be as close to her as possible. Her smile told him that was what she wanted too.

As they were finishing up their shared tiramisu, relieved that they had made it through dinner without either of them breaking down or even acknowledging that, in less than 12 hours, Rachel would be gone, Finn felt Rachel's entire body go stiff next to him. Before he had a chance to ask her what was wrong, he saw for himself. Shelby Corcoran, whom Rachel hadn't seen since they lost regionals to Vocal Adrenaline and Shelby adopted Quinn's baby, was standing only a few feet away.

"Hello Rachel, Finn," Miss Corcoran said. "You both look very nice. Finn, do you think you could excuse us for a minute. I need to talk to my … to Rachel." Finn placed his hand on Rachel's leg under the table. He squeezed it gently as he turned to look at her, almost as if asking permission to leave her alone with Shelby.

Rachel gave him a small, forced smile. "Why don't you go say hey to the guys? This should just take a minute," she gave Shelby a look as if to warn her that it better not take more than that. Finn gave her leg another gentle squeeze and kissed her cheek as he slid out of the booth to go talk to his glee teammates.

"So, Finn, how are you doing?" Mercedes asked quietly. It was odd for her to be so quiet and it made Finn even sadder. He didn't want his friends treating him like some fragile little boy.

"Oh, you know, I'm fine," he lied, shoving his hands in his pockets and shrugging his shoulders, trying to look nonchalant.

"No, what you are, is a liar," Puck said accusingly. Finn's head snapped in Puck's direction and he opened his mouth, ready to say something, even if he wasn't sure what that would be. "You are so not fine," Puck continued before Finn had a chance to respond. "I mean, I don't even know how you're not losing it right now. I would be." Quinn smiled sweetly at Puck's admission.

Finn relaxed from the defensive position he had taken at Puck's initial accusation. "I mean, it's just, we've worked so hard to make things good for us, you know? And now, they are, they're really good, and … and, now this. It's just not fair." Finn's head dropped and Mercedes softly rubbed his back.

"Umm, will you guys excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom. Finn, you can have my seat," Quinn walked away abruptly. Finn felt a little guilty about all this Rachel talk in front of her, but he thought that if he was over what had happened between them, she should be too. After all, she was the one who lied to him, and she was with Puck now anyway. Besides, right now he didn't really have time to worry about Quinn's feelings. He had Rachel's and his own to think about.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

"So Shelby, what did you need to say to me? I don't have a lot of time," Rachel watched Finn walking away. All she wanted was to have him next to her again, and Shelby was taking that away from her.

"I know. I talked to your dads, Rachel. They thought it would be appropriate to let me know what is going on with you, now that we've made contact with each other."

"You mean after you made contact with me, through Jesse, and then decided you didn't want to be a mom to me after all and that you would rather have a second chance with a new baby. How is Beth, by the way? You know, Puck and Quinn are right over there, maybe you want to go talk to them about giving her back. Or are you really ready to be a mother this time?" Rachel knew she was being rude, but she couldn't help it. She still hadn't gotten over what Shelby had done the previous spring, and right now she would much rather be with Finn than her birth mother.

"Look Rachel, I probably deserved that, but I'm not here to be insulted by you. I have something to say to you, then I'll be out of your hair. This school could be a great opportunity for you. You are incredibly talented, but you are only 16 and that talent isn't going anywhere. It took me a long time, far too long, to realize that my career was not the most important thing in my life," Shelby paused and looked into Rachel's eyes. "Many times over the past 16 years, while taking Vocal Adrenaline to multiple national championships, I regretted not having you in my life. But not once over the past four months have I regretted giving it up for Beth. Just think about that." Shelby patted Rachel's hand on top of the table and walked away.

Rachel looked around, checking to see if Finn was watching, but he seemed involved in a conversation with Puck. She took the chance to slip into the restroom and compose herself. Her conversation with Shelby did nothing for her resolve to keep her emotions in check. The door was barely closed behind her when the tears started flowing. "How dare she!" Rachel yelled at the mirror, grasping the sink so tightly that her knuckles turned white. Shelby had no right to talk to her about choosing between people and career, she thought. This was Rachel's decision. She had talked about it with her dads, they supported her, so why should she care what Shelby thought? It's not like she was really her 'mom.' "So why _do_ you care what she thinks?" That damn voice again. "I don't care," Rachel tried to convince herself, but it wasn't working. Something about Shelby's speech bothered her.

"Just how selfish are you?" Startled, Rachel turned to see the door closing behind Quinn. "I mean really, everything is all about you and you don't care what it means for anyone else, do you?"

"Look Quinn, I'm sorry about leaving glee club. But you guys will be ok without me. You might even make it to nationals this year, you never know. Mr. Schue will just have to rework some things. But you have a great voice yourself Quinn, and so do the other girls," Rachel was trying to be friendly to Quinn. They didn't have the best history, but Rachel didn't want to be enemies with her, especially since she was leaving in less than one day. What better time to bury the hatchet?

"I'm not talking about glee club, you conceited little troll!" Rachel gasped at the sharp insult. "I'm talking about Finn. You are breaking his heart, and it doesn't even matter to you. All that you care about is getting what you want, your precious career, and to Hell with him, right?"

"Oh, you're one to talk about breaking his heart, Quinn. Give me a break."

"I know I made a mistake last year Rachel, but I guess that's the difference between me and you. I'll admit it," Quinn quipped in response. "And besides, nothing I could ever have done would have broken his heart this way, because he loves you more than he ever loved me. And he thinks you feel the same."

"I do Quinn!" Rachel tried to calm herself, she didn't want Quinn to know how much she was getting to her. "I do feel that way about him. You don't know anything about our relationship, so please, just butt out."

"Maybe you're right. Maybe I don't know anything. Or much of anything, but I do know one thing that you don't seem to know. I know that there is an amazing guy out there who loves you more than anything, and you are willing to take off and leave him behind, breaking his heart in the process. Good luck, I know I couldn't do it." Quinn stormed out of the restaurant bathroom as abruptly as she had stormed in.

"What is the deal?" Rachel thought to herself. She didn't know how her day, which had started off so amazingly, had gone so wrong. "Ok. Get it together Berry," she commanded her reflection in the mirror. She tried to reassure herself that she was doing the right thing. They had talked about it; Finn supported her decision to go. He knew what this opportunity would mean for her, and he was behind her all the way. Right?

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Finn felt a hand on his shoulder. "Ready to go?" Rachel asked him. She didn't look good. Well, she always looked good, but something seemed off. She looked very upset. He looked over at Puck, who gave him a "get out of here" motion with his hands.

"Yeah, sure. Come on," Finn replied. If something in Breadsticks was bothering her, and he had an idea it had something to do with Shelby Corcoran's visit to their table, he wanted to get her out of there as quickly as possible. "Just let me go leave some money on the table for the check and we'll be out of here." As he stood up he kissed her on the top of her head and squeezed her hand.

"I'm really glad I got to see you guys one last time. I really am going to miss you all, and the rest of glee club too," Rachel looked at Mercedes and Kurt as she said this. She couldn't bring herself to look in Quinn's direction after her sneak attack in the bathroom.

"Alright babe, let's go," Finn had returned and was walking her to the door with his hand on her back. Rachel didn't speak on the ride back to her house. She didn't trust her voice not to betray her emotions. She had felt so sure that she was doing the right thing, but now doubts kept nagging in the back of her mind.

"Well, umm, I guess this is good night," Finn said as he turned off the truck in Rachel's driveway. He turned to look at her, not sure where to go from there. He didn't know if he should stay in the truck and let her go alone or if he should walk her to the door. Going in the house wasn't even an option. He knew that would result in a complete loss of all his self-control, which he had been fighting all day to keep hold of. Well, if nothing else, he knew he should at least open her door. That was the gentlemanly thing to do. As he stood outside the passenger side of the truck holding Rachel's door open, he hoped that she would give him some kind of sign as to what she wanted him to do. Thankfully, he got his wish. When she got out of the truck and began walking toward her front door, she stopped and turned to look at him, hand extended.

"So, umm, do you want to …" Rachel began, standing at her front door, hand in hand with Finn.

"No. I mean, yeah, it would be great, but you need to finish packing, and I need to get home and get to bed. We both have to get up early tomorrow to get you to the train station," Finn stared at the top of her head as he declined her offer to come in the house. He knew that looking her in the eye would only result in him giving in, and that wasn't an option. "Good night Rachel. I love you, and I'll see you in the morning." He squeezed his eyes shut as he pulled her to him and gave her the toughest goodnight kiss of his life.

Rachel watched as Finn walked back to his truck. Part of her was heartbroken that Finn had refused her offer to come in, but the other part of her understood why he needed to leave. She wanted to spend as much time with him as possible, but she knew that the longer they prolonged their "good night," the more it would hurt. She decided that instead of depressing herself by thinking about it any more, she should just finish packing and go to bed. He had been right; they did have to leave early in the morning.


	5. Chapter 5

"Damn it!" Finn threw the new bottle of shampoo across the bathroom, sending the shower curtain flying and water all over the floor. What was he thinking, asking his mom to buy Rachel's shampoo? He sank to the floor of the bathtub and buried his face in his hands, letting the hot water pouring from the shower mix with the tears running from his eyes. It crossed his mind that he could stay that way all day. His mom wouldn't be home from work for hours, people probably wouldn't be surprised if he didn't show up at school, there was no point in bothering to even get out of the shower. He rested his head on the tile wall behind him and closed his eyes, trying to block out the events of the previous two hours. It was no use; before he knew it his mind was back in bed, jolting awake and realizing he had overslept. Then he was once again stumbling through the house, trying to get ready as quickly as possible so that he could get to her house before she gave up on him and called a cab. He tried to stop the memories, but against his will his mind took him back to her driveway, reluctantly getting out of the truck to go to her door and let her know he was there, ready to take her away. "NO!" he screamed and pounded his fist on the side of the tub. Staying wasn't an option after all. He would have to get out of the house and around other people who would hopefully keep his mind off of what he had been through that morning.

Finn pulled himself out of the tub and wrapped a towel around his waist. He stepped over the mess he had made with the shampoo on the way out of the room. He would have to deal with that later; there was no way he could handle cleaning up a puddle of Rachel's shampoo. He truly regretted asking Carol to buy it for him. Her timing didn't help at all, either. She hadn't bought the shampoo until Sunday, so he hadn't even realized it was there until he stepped in the shower to get ready for school after dropping Rachel off at the train station. It was the last straw. He hadn't exactly been doing well up until that point, but he thought he had been managing to hold it together. All that had gone out the window when he inadvertently picked up the brand new bottle of Aussie shampoo.

When he arrived at school, it was as if he were sleepwalking. He didn't really have a purpose behind any of his actions; he was just trying to get from point A to point B. When he passed his glee teammates on the way to first period, they gave him sympathetic smiles, but he refused to make eye contact with them. When Puck tried to ask how he was in math, he stared blankly at his textbook and almost whispered, "I can't stop."

"I don't understand. Stop what?"

"I just … can't stop. I love her too much." Puck decided it was best to let it go. When the bell rang, Puck nearly had to drag his friend out of the classroom. He knew it wouldn't be easy for Finn to go to glee club, but it had to be done. Finn was going to have to face his pain sooner or later, and the way Puck saw it, sooner was better.

"Come on dude, we gotta go. It'll be fine." He felt like he was walking with a zombie, but he couldn't blame the guy. He really didn't know how Finn was doing it. Puck was actually surprised to see him at school at all, but Finn never had been one to handle being alone well. For a moment, Puck thought he was going to have to drag Finn into the choir room, but after a few seconds of staring blankly into the room, Finn walked in and took a seat in the back corner. Puck took his normal seat next to Quinn, sensing that Finn didn't want anyone too close.

"Okay. Hope everyone had a great weekend," Finn felt all eyes on him as Mr. Schuester gave his introduction to the day's class. He wished everyone would just pretend he didn't exist. He didn't want their pity looks; he didn't want anything from them. No one there could give him what he wanted. "Let's get started. I gave you an assignment last week." Seriously? Finn had no idea what he was talking about. Mr. Schue must have given the assignment when he and Rachel had been lost in their own world. Great, one more thing to go wrong, he really shouldn't have been surprised. "I asked you all to find a song that expresses exactly how you feel right now, something you may not even be able to put into words yourself, a song that …"

"I'll go first," Finn stood and nodded his head, as if even he hadn't been sure at first. "I want to go first please Mr. Schue."

"Um, ok, are you sure Finn? You don't have to."

"Yeah, I'm sure. I know the song I wanna sing, and I'm ready now." Finn shot Puck a look, and Puck nodded in understanding. Finn took a seat behind the drums while Puck walked across the room to pick up his guitar. Puck looked at him as if to say, "Sure you're ready for this?" and Finn gave him the signal to begin.

_**So you're leavin',  
>In the morning,<br>On the early train.  
>I could say everything's alright,<br>And I could pretend and say goodbye.**_

_**You got your ticket,  
>You got your suitcase,<br>You got your leavin' smile.  
>I could say that's the way it goes,<br>I could pretend and you won't know,  
>That I was lyin'<strong>_

The lyrics took him back to Rachel's front door. He could tell she had been waiting when she let him in. Her suitcase, with her train ticket on top, was sitting in the foyer and her clothes looked like they had come straight off the ironing board – there were no wrinkles from sitting. She gave him a sad smile and he had to look away. He was afraid of letting her see how he really felt and upsetting her. Taking her to the station and sending her away was going to be heartbreaking, making her feel bad about it would not make it any better. He shoved his hands in his pockets to put an end to the fidgeting he had been doing. "I, I'm sorry I'm late. I overslept, and, well I'm just sorry. Um, you ready?" was all he could manage. Rachel bit her lower lip and nodded her head.

_**Cause I can't stop loving you,  
>I can't stop loving you,<br>No I can't stop loving you,  
>Though I try.<strong>_

Finn picked up Rachel's suitcase and walked her to the truck. For the first time, he was ashamed of his truck. He saw it the way she must have, old and rusty with chipping paint. She deserved better, and he was angry at himself for not giving it to her. He couldn't buy a new car, but he could have figured out something for that morning. When they reached the passenger door, Finn set the suitcase down on the driveway and turned to look at her. Without saying a word, he grabbed her by the hips, pulled her close to him, and covered her mouth with his. "Mmm," she sighed into him, reaching up to lace her fingers in his hair. Finn hadn't intended for the kiss to happen, but before he realized what he was doing, he had lifted her off the ground and her back was pressed against the side of his truck. When he realized where they were headed, particularly where his body was headed, he gently lowered her back to the ground. "I love you," he said, twirling a section of her hair in his hand. "But, um, I think we should get going." She nodded and he opened the door to help her into the truck.

_**We took a taxi  
>To the station,<br>And not a word was said.  
>I saw you walk across the road,<br>For maybe the last time I don't know.**_

The ride from her house to the station was silent. He didn't even turn on the radio for fear that they would hear a song that was somehow connected to them. He couldn't take that, and he had a feeling she couldn't either. When he turned off the ignition in the parking lot of the train station, Rachel didn't move. He was happy to sit in the truck with her and pretend they were somewhere else, but after about three minutes of silence, Finn finally spoke up. "Well, I guess we should go now. You don't have long before your train leaves." She nodded in agreement as he opened his door. He lifted her single piece of luggage out of the bed of the truck then walked around to open her door and help her out. Instead of walking hand-in-hand with her as he normally did, he let Rachel walk a few steps ahead so he could keep his eyes on her as long as possible. "Take it all in. This might be your last chance," he closed his eyes and tried to shut out the thought.

_**Feelin' humble,  
>I heard a rumble<br>On the railway track**_

Rachel had been the one to reluctantly break the kiss in the station, their last for a long time. "I guess that's your train, huh?" Finn said to her. She kept her eyes down and nodded. "Hey, look at me," he lifted her chin so that their eyes met. "It's going to be fine. I'll be down to see you in two weeks. We'll talk every day until then. I love you. That isn't going to change. I don't give up that easy," he squinted and gave her his trademark smile as he finished. Again, she only nodded. He kissed her one last time on the forehead and without saying a word, she took her one small suitcase and boarded the train. He had stood, staring at the train, until the whistle blew and the train began to move.

_**And when I hear that whistle blow,  
>I'll walk away and you won't know,<br>That I was cryin'.**_

And there, in the middle of the choir room in front of all of his friends, he did. Again.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Rachel paced the rug in her foyer. She was starting to get worried; Finn was not big on punctuality but he was not usually this late and she really didn't think he would be late at all taking her to the train station. "What if he wasn't coming?" she asked herself. "What if he's so mad at me for leaving that he decided not to take me to the station?" That was the worst thing she could imagine happening. It wasn't like she was really looking forward to having to say goodbye, but she wasn't prepared for his awkward departure on her porch the previous night to be their last time together before she left either. And she couldn't bear the thought that he was angry with her. "What if," she began again in her mind, but she was stopped by the sound of his truck pulling into her driveway. She scolded herself for doubting him. She should have known better. She waited until she heard his footsteps right outside her door before opening it for him; she didn't want to appear too anxious, even though she was. She tried to greet him with a cheerful smile, but she knew she had failed when he turned his head away from her. She loved that he was trying to protect her from his pain, but sometimes she wished he would just let her in a little more.

"I, I'm sorry I'm late. I overslept, and, well I'm just sorry. Um, you ready?" Finn asked after standing in her doorway for what seemed to her like forever. She was afraid if she opened her mouth to speak she would lose control and start crying, so she simply nodded her head and bit her lip, trying to hold it all in. He somehow managed to hand her the train ticket without actually looking at it, then picked up her suitcase and led her to the truck. She walked slowly behind him, knowing that the sooner they got into the truck, the sooner they would part. She wished he had been even later.

When she finally reached the truck and was only about a step away from him, Finn turned and abruptly grabbed her hips, pulling her body into his and sending an electric charge from her spine down into her toes. She didn't have time to react before his lips were on hers. She couldn't speak, and she wouldn't have broken the kiss for anything, so she simply let out a soft moan to let him know that his advance was welcome. She intended to wrap her arms around his neck, but it was like she had lost control of her body; instead of the sweet embrace she was aiming for, she found herself with her hands tangled desperately in his hair. Was her body trying to tell her something that she had been denying all these months? Still holding tightly to her hips, Finn turned her so that her back was to the truck then lifted her, bringing them eye-to-eye. When he pushed her gently back against the truck for support, she briefly opened her eyes to see his starting back at her. He squeezed them tightly then kissed her just a little deeper before slowly lowering her back to the ground. She wanted to scream, to jump back into his arms and wrap her legs around his waist, but she felt a small tug on her hair, bringing her back to reality. He had a small section of her hair wrapped around his fingers and was telling her that they needed to be going. She just nodded and let him help her into the truck.

Finn didn't say anything on the ride to the station, and she was afraid to break the silence. It was as if she could feel their emotions weighing down the air around them, and if one of them dared to speak the weight of it would crush them. Even once they were in the parking lot and the truck was turned off, the couple sat in silence for several minutes until Finn finally suggested that they get going. But even as he got out and lifted her suitcase out of the back, she couldn't move. He probably thought she was trying to teach him some lesson in manners or chivalry, but the truth was, if he didn't come open her door and help her out, she didn't think she would have the strength to leave the truck. Once she was out of the truck, he dropped her hand and let her walk a few steps ahead of him. Normally that would have bothered her, but as long as he was walking behind her he couldn't see the tears threatening to spill out of her eyes.

Her train was not yet ready for boarding when they got in the station, so they had a few minutes to spare. She tried to think of something to say that would make the situation easier, but sitting on the bench so close to him all she could do was place her hands lightly on the sides of his face and kiss him. She had to remind herself that they were in a public place and couldn't have a repeat of what had happened in her driveway, so she restrained herself and kept the kiss as soft and gentle as possible. When she felt the vibration of the ground as the train engine started, she pulled away, keeping her eyes on the ground. "I guess that's your train, huh?" Finn asked, but she couldn't meet his eyes, so she only nodded. He was being a wonderful boyfriend, saying all the things he should be to try to comfort her, but she knew if she even tried to smile at him she wouldn't be able hold in her emotions. He kissed her on the forehead, and she knew that if she didn't go right then she may not go at all. She picked up her suitcase and walked away from her love and toward her future. "Why do you look at it that way?" the voice was back. "If you're going toward your future, shouldn't you love that too?"

Rachel fell into her seat on the train, thankful that she was sitting on the side opposite where Finn was standing on the platform. She dug her iPod out of her purse and shoved the earbuds in her ears quickly, hoping to drown out the thoughts that were crowding her mind. There was nothing like Barbra to help ease her pain and remind her of why she was on the train in the first place. Somehow, Rachel drifted off before the end of the first song. It really shouldn't have been surprising, considering her long hours the last few days and all the emotional stress she had been under.

_**Each morning I get up,  
>I die a little,<br>Can barely stand on my feet.**_

Rachel was only a little confused to find herself onstage, the spotlight on her as she performed for what she could only imagine was a packed house. "Must be a musical," she thought, "because this isn't the type of song I would perform in a show of my own." She became only slightly more disoriented when she realized what she was wearing: the black jeans and blue western-style shirt she had worn in her first public performance with New Directions.

_**Take a look in the mirror  
>And cry, Lord what you doin' to me?<strong>_

Rachel froze, shocked, as Finn joined her on stage and sang the line. She didn't know how or why he was there, but she was thrilled. She thought she remembered being sad about going to her new school, but if Finn was here with her, what was there to be sad about? Her happiness didn't last long, however. Her spirit fell as she saw the look on his face. He didn't look happy to be singing with her. The love that was usually in present in his eyes when they sang together was nowhere to be found. Suddenly he began backing away from her. She tried to follow him, but he disappeared into the darkness around her. She was on an island formed by her spotlight, and no matter how hard she tried to get out of it, the light followed her wherever she went. Rachel began to cry; normally she loved being in the spotlight, but that stage felt incredibly alone and it scared her.

Rachel jolted as the train went around a sharp curve and she was thrown to her right. She opened her eyes to find herself not on the stage, but back in her seat on the train with "Somebody to Love" pouring into her ears over the wires of her headphones. The tears were real, however. She hurried to get herself back together. She wiped the tears from her face and yanked the earbuds from her ears, then saw her pink iPod laying on the floor by her foot; she must have dropped it at some point, activating the "shake to shuffle" feature. It took her a moment to figure out why she even had the song on her player in the first place, but then she remembered one day over the summer when Finn had loaded it with songs that reminded him of them so that she could be reminded too. "Why that one?" she had asked him. She understood "Jessie's Girl," and of course "Faithfully," but she didn't know why he had chosen a song that they sang early in their friendship, while he was still with Quinn and had just found out she was pregnant.

"That's when I knew I loved you," he replied. She had just looked at him, confused. "Okay, so I had been attracted to you pretty much from the beginning, but I kept telling myself it was nothing. But then, you had the opportunity to be a star and have the spotlight all to yourself in Mr. Rierson's play, but you came back to glee because we needed you, because _I _needed you. As soon as you walked through that choir room door, I fell in love with you." So much for getting herself together – the memory had sent the tears free-flowing again.

"Here you are dear," Rachel felt a hand on her arm. The older lady in the seat across the aisle from her had leaned over and was offering her a tissue.

"Thank you," Rachel replied, accepting the woman's offer. "This is really embarrassing." She tried to give the woman a light-hearted smile.

"Oh sweetie, nothing to be embarrassed about here. I just hope those tears don't have anything to do with that handsome young man who brought you to the station. He certainly seemed taken with you, and it breaks my heart to see young love gone wrong."

"Well, he does have something to do with it," Rachel told the woman, using the tissue to blot the tears from her cheeks, "but I wouldn't call it 'love gone wrong.' I'm moving, so that was the last time we're going to see each other for a while. I mean, I wanted the move, because it's going to be great for my future. I just didn't expect it to be nearly this hard."

"Yes, life is full of some very tough decisions, and a lot of times they don't end up the way we expect them to," the woman patted her hand and leaned back across the aisle. "But I'll leave you alone now. I'm sure talking to an old lady won't make your trip any easier," she laughed softly and picked up her magazine.

Rachel appreciated the woman's kindness, but she was right, talking with her wouldn't make the trip any less painful. Since her initial plan for taking her mind off her hurt had been a bust, she was going to move to plan B. She shoved her iPod back into her purse and started digging around for the mindless chick-lit novel she had brought along. Her hand brushed her cell phone, turning it over so that she could see the blinking light indicating missed alerts. "Three messages?" she thought when she switched the phone on from its sleep mode. "I was only asleep for like, 30 minutes." The first message was from her dad, about five minutes before her train had left the station in Lima. 'Say hi to Finn for us and have a safe trip,' it read. She found it ironic that her dad sent her a message telling her to say 'hi' to Finn at probably the exact moment she was saying goodbye to him.

The next two messages seemed much less promising, the sender of both being Shelby. Rachel considered hitting delete without even looking at them, but decided that reading them couldn't do any damage at that point. When the message opened, Rachel's stomach flipped and her hand flew to her mouth. There was no text, only a picture of Finn standing in the train station, arms folded across his chest and eyes closed, biting his bottom lip. She stared at the picture for a full minute before she could react. Finally, she willed her thumb to hit the 'back' button. In the midst of the pain caused by the picture she had forgotten that there was a second text from Shelby. Before she could stop herself, Rachel had opened the next message. This time it was too much, she couldn't hold back the tears. Finn was sitting in his truck with his arms folded over the steering wheel. His head lay on top of his hands the same way it did when he went to sleep in class. He was staring blankly out the driver's side window, obviously not noticing Shelby out there somewhere snapping his picture on her phone. It was hard tell in the tiny picture, but Rachel was almost sure she could see that he had been crying. Below the picture, Shelby had typed two words: 'No regrets.' Rachel slammed the phone onto her lap, face down. Why was Shelby doing this? She hadn't wanted to be in her life, so why was she meddling now? And why was she pushing so hard? But as she tried to decipher Shelby's motives, her mind was taken over by another voice. It wasn't her own nagging voice this time, it was Carol Hudson's. "One way, or the other."

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

She tried to position herself outside the door so that no one inside the classroom could see her. She wanted some time to be just an observer, to see how the students acted without her around, before she was thrown into the mix. Rachel thought she had been successful in her covert mission until she found herself looking into a pair of hazel eyes that were definitely staring back at her. Her first reaction was to jump away from the window. But after only a few seconds, her interest got the best of her and she peeked back in. It seemed that one person was still the only one who knew she was there. He turned away from her, back toward his classmates, and she realized he was going to let her stand out there as long as she needed to. She was trying to decide where to go from there when the music stopped. She took her eyes off her new ally to figure out why, and she saw all the students with their heads down or looking at one another, pretending to be involved in some very interesting conversation. They were obviously all uncomfortable being a part of what should be such a private moment for their classmate, their friend. Rachel lowered her head as well, feeling guilty, but before she had time to decide what her next move would be, she heard the guitar pick up again, without the drums this time. She looked up to find those hazel eyes staring back at her.

_**Cause I can't stop loving you.  
>No I can't stop loving you.<br>I just can't stop loving you,  
>Though I try.<strong>_

Rachel opened the door and walked into the choir room, picking up where Finn had left off. He was still at his seat behind the drum set, but the sticks were lying still on top of one of the drums and his hands rested lightly on his knees. As soon as the first note escaped her lips, Finn's head snapped up, his eyes glistening with tears and his mouth opened wide. She walked toward him slowly, singing the chorus as Puck accompanied her on guitar. She reached him as she came to the last line, forcing out the words over the lump in her throat. She was terrified of how he would react. Would he be angry at her for leaving him that morning? Would he stand up and storm out of the room, leaving a pile of kicked-over chairs in his wake? When she finished, the only sound in the room was Puck's guitar, still playing, waiting for someone to come in for the final chorus. None of their classmates even moved, practically holding their breath and waiting almost as anxiously as Rachel herself to see how Finn would respond. Finally, as she stood in front of him, tears rolling down her cheeks, Finn reached up to her, taking both of her hands in his own, and pulled her down onto his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck as his arms wound tightly around her waist and he leaned forward, placing a slow, soft kiss on her lips. Finally, they parted and, amid cheers they could barely hear from within their bubble, sang the final chorus in harmony.

_**I just can't stop loving you.  
>No I can't stop loving you.<br>I just can't stop loving you.  
>Why do I try?<br>Why do I try?**_

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

**Okay, so this could be the end of the story if I wanted it to be, but I also have a lot of ideas for a sort of "Part II," if anyone is interested. I think this story, this chapter in particular, leaves some unanswered questions that I could get into and I have ideas for some new stuff about where they go from here. But, I don't want to write any of it if people are satisfied with where it is now and aren't interested in more. So, know what that means? Review/comment! Please let me know if I should keep writing or end it here.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks so much for the reviews, especially **_**noro**_** and **_**nikki50894**_**. Obviously, it didn't take much of a push for me to keep going on this story. I really love it and am glad that other people are enjoying it. Just to recap – Rachel has had two 'firsts' so far: the first time she really had to make a serious choice about pursuing her future, and the first time she has put something (or someone) ahead of that future. More firsts to come.**

"Well, since I'm not technically a student here anymore, until my dads get back and re-enroll me," Rachel rolled her eyes, "I should probably go. You guys still have a few more classes to get to, and I guess I could go unpack or something." She spoke as if she was addressing the entire class, but her eyes never left Finn's. The rest of the glee club members headed to their next classes, with a few of them hugging her or patting her on the back as they left. Finn, however, did not move. He stayed right where he was, not even loosening his grip on Rachel's hand. "I guess that means you need to go too," she said to him. But even as she was saying it, she leaned over and laid her head on his shoulder.

"Alright guys, I guess that's my cue," Mr. Schuester said, walking out of his office and pointing to the intercom that had produced the class-change bell. "Oh, Finn," Mr. Schue stopped in the doorway and turned back to face his two remaining students, "I need you to _run some errands _that will probably take all of Spanish class, so I'll talk to your other teachers and let them know that you'll be making up work for me, well, the rest of the day. Really big test today," he put his hand on the doorknob and gave the couple a subtle wink, ready to continue to the Spanish classroom.

"But, Mr. Schue," Finn began. He squinted in confusion, and Rachel giggled, trying to stifle the sound with her hand. She didn't want to hurt his feelings; she really did find his cluelessness adorable. She loved how innocently he looked at everything. "What errands? And, what test? I really think you must have forgot to tell us about that one. I mean, all due respect and everything," Finn put up his hands in a defensive position; he really did respect Mr. Schuester and didn't want to seem rude, "but, is there any chance you're wrong?"

"Oh no Finn, you definitely won't have time for any other classes. _I've got your whole afternoon covered_," Mr. Schuester said with emphasis, trying, and failing, to help Finn understand. The young man still looked incredibly confused.

"It's ok Mr. Schue, I'll take it from here," Rachel said with a smile.

"I'm glad you're staying Rachel. It really is nice to have you back," Mr. Schue smiled at the young couple then walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

"He still didn't tell me what errands he wanted me to run," Finn said with exasperation. "I guess I should go catch him." He started to stand, but Rachel, unable to control her laughter, pulled him back down next to her.

"Do you have any idea how much I love you?" She held his face in her hands and kissed him sweetly, then rested her forehead against his and studied his eyes. She suddenly became very angry with herself. How could she even consider leaving? How could she put him, and herself, through that pain over the past few days? She didn't know how he could not be mad at her too.

"Hey, you okay?" Finn asked, sensing that something was off. He reached up to take one of her hands in one of his own, and used the other to stroke her hair.

"I'm so, so sorry!" she burst out, tears beginning to stream down her cheeks. "I never should have even considered going to Cincinnati, I shouldn't have put you, us, through what I did. Quinn was right, I am selfish and horrible. Please forgive me, please don't be angry!" Rachel couldn't make eye contact with him, she was too ashamed.

"Rachel Barbra Berry, look at me right now," Finn turned her face toward him with both hands. "You have nothing to be sorry for. If anything, I should feel bad that you gave up such an awesome opportunity to stay in Lima. And don't even get me started on Quinn," Rachel was shaking her head at him, she didn't want him to feel bad for anything. It was her choice, and she was the one who made it. No regrets. "You're my girl, and I love you. The only thing I _am_ right now is super grateful that, for some reason, you chose to come back." He kissed her forehead and she smiled, making him smile mischievously in response. Then he kissed the tip of her nose and she giggled. Finally, he grabbed her around the waist and kissed her on the lips, just before he began tickling her sides. Rachel threw her head back laughed uncontrollably. "Now, feeling better, or do I need to do some more _cheering up_?" he asked, renewing his tickling efforts.

"No … no … I'm good! I'm GOOD!" Rachel squealed breathlessly, trying to wiggle out of Finn's grasp. He tickled her one last time before laughing and dropping his hands to her legs.

"Ok," he kissed her again on her forehead, "the last thing I want to do is leave you, but I really should go find out what I'm supposed to be doing for Mr. Schue." He tried to stand up, but again, Rachel had a near death-grip on his hand. "Rach, I love you and all, but I can't just skip my whole afternoon of school and stay with you. I have to … What are you laughing at?" She had tried to hold it in, but she just couldn't take it.

"Oh Finn," she began. "Mr. Schue just gave you the rest of the day off! He was making all that stuff up as an excuse to get you out of class."

"He was? Are you sure? I mean …" Finn's voice trailed off and he stared at the door Mr. Schue had exited through.

"Well, you could go to his room and ask him, and risk getting stopped by Principal Figgins or even Ms. Sylvester on the way," Rachel looked at him mischievously, almost sexily, as she continued. "Or, we could run right out that door and straight to your truck." She smiled at him, a different kind of smile, a _naughty_ smile.

"Yeah, I like plan B!" Finn jumped up and practically dragged her across campus to his truck in the parking lot. They both laughed hysterically as he didn't even open the passenger side door for her, instead boosting her across from the driver's side and climbing in after her, starting the engine. "So, what now?"

"I … have … no … idea," she gasped, trying to catch her breath and wiping tears from her cheeks. "Ooh! Coffee?"

"Whatever you want Rach," Finn replied. "God I love seeing you laugh like that." He drove her to the Lima Bean, and they took their drinks to a park where they could sit on a bench with their coffees and just enjoy each other's company.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Finn hadn't known how to react when his song for Rachel had been interrupted by Rachel herself walking into the classroom. As cliché as it sounded (Was he using the word right? He still wasn't sure.), he had almost asked Puck to pinch him or something to make sure he wasn't dreaming. Just a few hours before, he had left her at the station on a train picking up speed. It just didn't make sense for her to be back in Lima, in the choir room singing to him. He did the only thing he could do, stare blankly at her trying to figure the whole thing out, until she was standing immediately in front him. He finally accepted that she was really there and realized that he had to do something, because she had stopped singing and was starting to look scared. When he pulled her onto his lap and was able to hold her in his arms, he finally believed that that it was real, that_ she _was real.

"Okay okay," Mr. Schue broke in when Finn and Rachel finished their song. "Rachel, nice to see you, and especially nice to hear you," amused laughter interrupted Schue's speech, "but we can't afford to lose another day of class. So, I'm going to have to ask Rachel and Finn to take their seats so we can move on and hear some other songs." He patted Finn on the shoulder as he and Rachel walked hand-in-hand back to their normal front row seats. "So, who's next?" Rachel snuggled into Finn's side, his arm around her shoulder, as Mercedes made her way to the front of the room.

"You would make an awful spy," Puck hissed over Rachel's shoulder.

"What's your deal, Puck?" Finn turned and asked him. He wouldn't stand for anyone disrespecting his girl, especially not after what they had been through the past few days.

"Hey man, I'm just sayin', I saw her out there from like, the minute I picked up my guitar," Puck responded in a hoarse whisper, trying not to draw attention away from Mercedes' performance. Finn shot Rachel a confused look and she lowered her eyes. "Yeah," Puck continued, "she was out there watching you from the beginning of the song. But, I mean, I couldn't say anything 'cause she looked so sad. Sad chicks kinda freak me out. Besides, I knew she'd make her way in eventually. I just thought I'd let her do it on her own time." Rachel shot him a look of thanks.

"You were watching me?" Finn whispered in Rachel's ear.

"I was afraid to come in. Then I saw you getting ready to sing and I just froze; I had to see, to hear, what you were going to do. I think a small part of me was just really scared that you were happy that I was gone, and a much bigger part of me was scared that you would be angry. I'm sorry for spying, but your song was beautiful! I kind of got … hypnotized watching you. Especially since the song was for me. I hope …" She looked up at him from below her eyelashes, hoping she hadn't been wrong.

Part of him wanted to make her squirm a little, after all, he had really believed she was leaving and he had suffered because of it. That didn't last long, however, as he reminded himself that she had intended to actually leave, it wasn't some big joke or prank, and she had suffered just like he had, and now for some reason she was back, after sacrificing her dream school. No, he had no right to put her through that. "You're adorable," he kissed her on the top of her head, "Of course it was about you. I've never felt a song that much in my life." Rachel laid her head on his shoulder and he rested his cheek on her hair, content to watch their classmates perform in silence.

When class was over and they were the only people left in the choir room, Rachel tried to convince Finn that Mr. Schue was basically giving him a hall pass for the rest of the day. He wanted it to be true, but he was apprehensive, since he so often misunderstood when people tried to give him hints. He didn't want to get in trouble for skipping school or something if Mr. Schue really had wanted him to run errands. "He was? Are you sure? I mean …"

Rachel pointed out that if he went to clarify things with Mr. Schue, there was a good chance he would be stopped by Principal Figgins or, worse, Coach Sylvester, which would eliminate any chances of getting out of there. Her alternative to that option, which she presented to him with a very sexy smile he had never seen before, was to take her and get out of that school as quickly as possible. "Yeah, I like plan B!" He almost forgot his backpack as he grabbed her hand and dashed for the door. He forgot how much longer his legs were than hers, and when they were in the middle of the parking lot he realized that he was almost dragging her behind him. He considered slowing down, but when he turned to look at her she was grinning widely and he could hear her laughing. He loved that smile. And he loved the sound of her laugh tinkling behind him. He didn't even stop to let her in the passenger door; he just pulled her around to his side and helped her in through the driver's door and across the seat. He told himself that if she asked about it, he would tell her he just got caught up in the momentum of running and forgot to stop on her side, but truthfully he just wanted the excuse to touch her body. "So, what now?" he asked, secretly hoping she would want to go back to one of their houses before their parents got home, although he knew she wasn't ready to move forward like he was. He was determined to respect her no matter what, but he was a teenage guy and nothing could change his hormones. On second thought, he was kind of relieved when she suggested coffee. He always worried that he was going to push too hard or go too far, which was the last thing he wanted. However, he wondered just how much she really needed the coffee as he watched her laughing giddily from across the truck. It didn't matter, he was going to do whatever she wanted, and if coffee would keep that laugh coming, he was going to get her coffee. "Whatever you want Rach. God I love seeing you laugh like that."

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

"Ok, so I have to ask," Finn finally said after about 10 minutes of sitting on the park bench with their coffees and saying almost nothing. "How, I mean, why, well, I mean how _and _why?" He was having a hard time putting together a sentence but the way she looked at him, nodding slightly with a small smile, told him that she knew what he was getting at.

"Well, which do you want first?" she asked with a quiet chuckle. Explaining the _how _would be easier, but the _why _was so much more pleasant to think about now, and infinitely more important.

"Just start at the beginning, I guess," Finn replied. He knew what he wanted to hear, but he wanted her to tell the whole thing in her own way.

"Well, I guess if I'm starting at the beginning, I should go back to Thursday night," Rachel began. Finn tried not to let her see the slight roll of his eyes. As much as he loved her, the girl could talk, and sometimes he got bored and spaced out, which tended to get him into trouble with her. He thought that maybe he had used the wrong choice of words. "When I had to tell you about that school, I was terrified. I couldn't stand the thought that I was going to possibly hurt you. That's why I invited you over, and why I made you read the letter instead of telling you myself." Rachel looked up from her hands, which had involuntarily been picking at her cuticles, to try to read his face. She saw him reliving the conversation, feeling the awkwardness as she was, so she continued quickly. "Anyway, you were so happy and proud, and just so supportive, it was great. But then – and please don't get me wrong, the last thing I ever want is to hurt you – it kind of started to bother me that you weren't upset at all. I know, I know, it makes me a horrible person, and I'm sorry, but it just made me really sad to think that you wouldn't even miss me." Rachel's cheeks burned with embarrassment, she could only imagine what he must be thinking after her admission that she had wanted him to be a little upset.

"Rachel, I …" Finn interrupted, wanting to explain to her that the only reason he wasn't upset was because he didn't understand what was really going on. Deep down he had known how much that must have hurt her, but had kept pushing those feelings away, telling himself that she appreciated his support.

"No, please, let me finish. I'm sure when I'm finished you'll have lots you want to say, and like I already said, I know feeling that way makes me a horrible person. We both know how selfish I can be, and I'm really working on it. Being with you, watching you, makes me want to be a better person. So part of that is me being completely honest with you about this, even if it means you end up mad at me." Finn only sighed and clasped Rachel's hand between his as she took a deep breath, preparing to continue. He would tell her about his mistake, but he would wait until she finished. The worst part about waiting was the idea that she might go on thinking he was angry with her. If anything, he was angry at himself for not clearing things up with her sooner and avoiding this whole mess.

"Ok, so, as soon as you were on board and supporting me, I knew I had to go. I was waiting to make my decision until after I talked to you, but when you didn't have any objections, there was really no reason not to transfer." He knew she didn't mean for it to happen that way, but her words were causing him real pain and regret. He was once again growing angry with himself for being so stupid when he read that letter.

Rachel noticed that Finn was starting to squeeze her hand a bit harder. She knew before she even started talking that he would probably be upset with her when he heard about how selfish she had been about him. Her only option was to keep talking, hoping that the rest would somewhat make up for that part. She took a drink of her coffee for a shot of courage in the form of caffeine, then continued, "I felt really bad even asking you to go shopping with me, because I know that's just not your thing, but I just wanted to spend as much time with you as possible. Thank you, again, for doing that. I can't even tell you how much it meant to me." She looked at him with a grateful smile and he pulled her closer, placing a soft kiss on her temple.

"Yesterday, I was so nervous about spending the day with your mom," Finn couldn't help but laugh, he couldn't figure out what on earth there was about his mom that could be intimidating. She nudged him with her shoulder, "Don't laugh at me. Besides, even though I was nervous, I ended up really excited. I felt like I was really part of a family, _your _family. And I just got so comfortable being there, with you, I guess I got a little too comfortable. I was so mad at myself when I realized we had fallen asleep. I felt like I had just wasted so much of what little time we had left." She sensed that she was getting off the point. The reason she was telling this whole awful story was to let him know that she was back because of him, not to dwell on anything that happened over the past few days.

"But you know what, that's not important now," she smiled at him, just realizing he had been rubbing small circles on her back with his hand. "The important part is that your mom came out, and she was so nice to me, and she really made me feel better. I was feeling really great about things, about _us, _until we saw Shelby at Breadsticks." Finn rolled his eyes and exhaled deeply. He knew Shelby had caused a problem that night, he should have never left Rachel alone with her. "She gave me this speech about how even when she was winning with Vocal Adrenaline, she regretted giving me up, but she had never regretting giving up her job for Beth. I thought she was just trying to make herself feel better by being nice to me before I left and she didn't have to deal with me anymore." Finn moved his hand from her back to her head, stroking her hair gently. He knew the whole thing with Shelby had really shaken Rachel, and he wanted to make sure she knew that he was there no matter what.

Rachel had to stop herself from crying, reminding herself that there was no reason to cry now, it was a happy time. She was just so overwhelmed by how incredible Finn was being, and she really wanted to get to the part where she could make him understand why she was back. "Ok, so then, Quinn followed me into the restroom and basically verbally attacked me, telling me how awful and selfish I was and how much I was hurting you by only thinking about myself."

"Dammit, Quinn," Finn muttered under his breath, but Rachel continued as if he hadn't said anything.

"But the worst part about the run-in with Quinn was that I couldn't even argue with her. When she left the restroom, I was standing there alone trying to convince myself that she was wrong – not her, me. I kind of hated myself right then," Rachel paused, trying to collect herself. Finn sat, waiting patiently for her to continue. He didn't think there was any way he could make her feel better about that, and she would probably just get frustrated with him for interrupting anyway, so he thought it was best to just wait. "Okay, so I guess I should get to the part you really want to hear about: this morning." Finn sighed in relief, he didn't want to push her, but she was right, that really was what he was interested in. And besides, all the other stuff made him feel pretty bad, especially the parts about how she thought he didn't care if she went. Once things settled down, he was going to have to come up with something really good to make that up to her.

"It was so hard to leave you this morning. In my driveway, I mean, I almost refused to get in the truck, I just wanted to drag you into the house after … well …" she blushed at the thought of how they had behaved in the middle of her driveway. When she looked at Finn, he was also blushing a little, even though he wore a goofy grin at the same time. She thought it would be good to change the subject as quickly as possible. They were in public, after all. "So, as soon as I got on the train, I turned on my iPod. I figured if anything could make me feel better, it was Barbra. Well, apparently I didn't realize how tired I was, because I fell asleep as soon as the train started moving. I woke up because 'Somebody to Love' came on and I had a horrible dream about losing you and being all alone." When she initially mentioned the song title, Finn smiled, but as she continued discussing her bad dream, the smile faded. He didn't want to think that he caused that.

"So when I woke up, I was kind of crying a little. Well, maybe a lot, and this sweet old lady beside me tried to comfort me, and she said something about how our decisions don't always turn out the way we expect them to. I thought she was talking about how I had finally gotten to be with you, then had to choose to leave for my future, which I hated to think about because it hurt so much." At that point, Rachel was fidgeting very nervously and couldn't make eye contact with Finn. She was a little scared to tell him that her birth mom had spied on him and sent her pictures, but that part was pretty essential to the story. "I tried to put it out of my mind, so I decided to put Barbra away and read a book. But while I was looking through my purse, I saw that my phone had missed messages. From Shelby." Finn groaned and leaned back against the bench, letting his head fall back. He didn't think that could amount to anything good. Sure enough, he was right. Rachel had pulled out her phone and was looking at it as a few tears rolled down her face, even though she hadn't made a sound.

"Rach, whatever Shelby said, it's not worth you being sad about. Don't get upset by her, please," Finn tried to comfort her.

"No, just look," Rachel said, handing him the phone.

"Um, I, uh, Rach, I," Finn stammered as he looked at the picture of himself standing in the train station, trying not to cry and feeling like he was watching his entire world ride away on that train. He wanted to defend himself, to tell her that he wasn't really about to cry like a little girl, but she interrupted him before he had the chance.

"Umm, there's another one," she said, pointing at the 'next' button on her phone. The image on the screen took him back to his truck. He had managed to keep from making a fool of himself in the train station, holding it together just long enough to get back to the truck. But as soon as the door closed and he was safely alone, he stopped trying to pretend. He had spent three days holding in what he felt, and it had finally become too much. He laid his head on the steering wheel and let the tears that had been threatening for so long go free. He of course had no idea that he was being watched. At the bottom of Shelby's picture were the words 'No regrets.' He wasn't exactly sure what it was supposed to mean, but he had an idea those texts had played a part in getting Rachel on that bench with him at that moment, so he was grateful. Without saying a word, he handed the phone back to Rachel. As she finished her story, she remembered the rest of her train ride as if she were reliving it.

"How far until the next stop?" Rachel had frantically asked the woman across the aisle after seeing Shelby's texts.

"About 15 minutes I think. Is everything ok sweetheart?"

"No, it's not. I left something. I have to go back to Lima. I have to get off at the next stop," Rachel threw her phone back into her purse and stood up to pull her carry-on back out of the overhead storage area. She didn't know what she was going to do once she got off the train, she just knew she had to get off. Maybe she would call her dads. She would have to wait almost two hours for them to get there, but she couldn't stay on that train, getting farther and farther from Lima and Finn, a minute longer than necessary. Carol's words continued to echo in her head as she stared out the window, "One way or the other." 'The other way' Carol referred to had nothing to do with her and Finn breaking up, 'the other way' was for Rachel to stay. And that is what she would do.

When the train stopped in some tiny town she had never heard of, Rachel was the first person off the train. Not knowing what her next step should be, she took a seat and took out her phone to call her dads. She didn't know how she would tell them she had changed her mind. They had done so much for her, and now it was like she was throwing it in their faces.

"Ok."

"Ok?" Rachel asked. How could that be her father's response? She had just told him that he had gone to Cincinnati for nothing, that she was changing her mind about something she had begged him for, and all he said back to her was 'ok.'

"Oh thank God," Rachel moved the phone away from her face when she heard Shelby's voice. "When you didn't respond to my texts I was afraid you were actually hardheaded enough to stay on that train. Is that one of your dads? Let me talk to him," Shelby took the phone from Rachel's hand. "Mr. Berry? Hi, this is Shelby … Fine. How are you? … That's good. Anyway, I just wanted to say that there is no need for you gentlemen to cut your trip short. There are a lot of great things to do in Cincinnati, some really nice museums, and you already have a room for the night anyway I assume, you just stick around like you had planned. I'll get Rachel home safe and sound … Yes, of course I'm sure … Ok, here she is."

"Daddy, are you sure about this, I mean … No no no, you guys stay and have fun, I'll see you tomorrow afternoon. Love you too," Rachel put the phone back in her purse and addressed Shelby. "So, would you like to tell me what is going on here?"

"Rachel, I tried to get through to you last night, but you were too angry to listen. I'm not blaming you, I get it. But I had to get through to you somehow. I knew that even if you wouldn't listen to me, you would listen to him," Shelby pointed to where Rachel had just put her phone in her purse. "Now come on, we need to get you back to Lima."

"So … Shelby brought you back?" Finn asked, breaking Rachel out of her reverie.

"Um, yeah," Rachel replied, nodding gently. "She not only brought me back, she is the one who helped me realize what a mistake I was making n the first place. I came back for you, Finn, but it was because of her. I realized that everything she had said to me in Breadsticks, and what your mom said to me, and even Quinn and the lady on the train … well, they were all just trying to make me understand that sometimes what we think is important and what we think is best really isn't, and that people and relationships are always most important. I had blinders on when it came to my career and that school, I just wish I had realized it earlier …" her voice trailed off, full of guilt at not catching on to how badly Finn was hurting in the first place.

"Yeah, Rachel, that's kind of what I was trying to tell you earlier," Finn began. He didn't want to say what he was about to, but there was no way he could go on letting her feel guilty about not recognizing his feelings when he had tried so hard to hide them from her. He especially couldn't have her feeling bad about Thursday night, when the whole misunderstanding was his fault. "Umm, remember earlier when you talked about how you were hurt that I didn't seem upset when you showed me all that stuff from the school?"

"Finn, like I said, I'm so, so sorry. I know I'm horrible and selfish, but I'm really trying to get better. Please don't hold it against me too much." Finn grabbed her face quickly, seeing that she was going to turn away from him.

"Stop, okay? Just listen to me. You have every right to be upset about that, don't feel guilty for wanting to be cared about. But here's the thing. I was being stupid that night. I just got so excited for you, so proud of you, that I didn't pay enough attention to realize where the school was. I just thought you were going to a different school here in town. I promise you Rachel, as soon as I figured it out, the next day in glee club, it broke my heart. I just didn't want you to know because you were so excited about your school and I didn't want to be the thing standing in your way. But since you're here now anyway, I guess it's okay to say that I never wanted you to go. I couldn't stand the thought of you not being here. Maybe I should call Shelby and thank her for spying on me," Finn laughed, causing Rachel to laugh as well.

"Ok, so I guess that's enough of the great outdoors for one day. Ready to take me home, handsome?" Rachel winked at Finn. He wasn't sure why, but something about that simple gesture gave him chills.

"Umm, yeah, if that's what you want," he just hoped that taking her home didn't mean dropping her off. He didn't expect anything to happen when they got there, he never did, he just wasn't ready to get rid of her yet.

Remembering how happy she had been in the school parking lot, Finn dragged Rachel around to the driver's side of the truck and put her in the same way he had before. This time, instead of sliding over to her side, she stayed in the middle, holding his hand and resting her head on his shoulder. When they stopped in her driveway, she moved to the driver's seat and waited for him to lift her out of the truck. She was really starting to enjoy that arrangement. She pulled him by the hand up the front steps and through the door. He waited a few steps ahead of her in the foyer, staring absently at his feet, as she locked the door behind them. But instead of continuing into the house and leading him to the couch as she would normally do, Rachel reached around him from behind to grab his belt buckle and pulled him so that they were face-to-face and his body nearly pinned her against the door. He wasn't expecting the ambush and had to brace his hands against the door on either side of her head to avoid slamming into her. Just as she had wanted to do that morning, she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him, hard, and with the same urgency he had shown before. It was only a matter of seconds before his hands were on her hips and her legs were wrapped around his waist.


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay, I know this update has been longer coming than most. Sorry about that, but this chapter just took me a while. Part of it is that it is quite long, but it was also that I had this idea in my head of exactly what I wanted and it took me a while to really get it down just the way I wanted it. Anyway, thanks for your patience, and please enjoy!**

**Also, I have changed the rating to "M." If you are uncomfortable and choose to stop reading because of that, I completely understand, and I think (hope) that the way the last chapter ended will leave you satisfied in at least knowing that Rachel stuck around … for Finn!**

"How did this happen?" Finn asked himself. It had been the most emotionally taxing day of his life – first he had to deal with the pain of putting the girl he loved on a train and sending her away, only to experience the joy of having her back again. And now, he was standing in her front foyer with her legs around his waist, holding her up against the front door by her hips as they kissed hungrily. And she had initiated it. He was almost afraid to breathe, afraid of breaking whatever spell had come over her. He had made a vow to always respect her, but it was certainly no secret that he wanted her, and if she was the one taking the lead he would be sure to follow. He hoisted her up a little higher, resting her thighs on the tops of his hipbones, so that she was more at his eye level as he parted her lips with his tongue. Since they hadn't really done anything other than make out, he had become very familiar with the recesses of her mouth and was exploring all the places he knew she liked. He curved his right hand fully under her butt so that he could support all of her weight on that arm, her tiny figure making it incredibly easy, in order to free his left hand to slide up her back and to her head, his fingers tangling into the hair at the nape of her neck. Her hands had already made their way into his hair, tugging on it lightly every time his tongue flicked into her mouth. Suddenly he was shocked by the feeling of her teeth on his bottom lip. She didn't bite him hard, just enough to let him know that she wasn't finished pushing the limits just yet, and he certainly didn't find it unpleasurable. His eyes flew open to search her face, again wondering how they had ended up here and what had gotten into her. He must have stopped kissing her without meaning to, because she opened her eyes as well.

Clearly embarrassed, she dropped her eyes and bit her own lip. She didn't know what was she was thinking. Well, she hadn't been thinking. She hadn't meant to bite him, it just happened. It wasn't even a bite, really, just a little nip. She had gotten caught up in the moment. Something had washed over her in the truck and by the time they were in the house, all she could think about was how his body had felt that morning pressed against hers. She needed to feel that again. She needed to feel the urgency in him that she felt Thursday night in her kitchen and again that morning in her driveway, because she felt that same urgency within herself. Standing in her doorway, looking at him, she thought that maybe if she took charge, showed him how much she needed that feeling, he would forget for a little while how fragile he seemed to think she was and be just a little more … forceful.

"I'm sorry," Rachel began, growing ever more embarrassed over her little 'moment of passion' before. Finn regretted opening his eyes, realizing that the spell had been broken. He scolded himself, because if he hadn't reacted the way he had, her hand would probably still be scratching lightly over his scalp and pulling his hair and his hand would still be, well, on her butt. He lowered her gently back to the floor and moved his hands to her sides. "I hope I didn't, I mean I hope that was … It didn't hurt did it?" Rachel finally managed to form a sentence out of her racing thoughts.

Seriously, was that really what she was worried about? "Are you kidding me? No it didn't hurt. Rach, that was hot!"

"Really?" She tried to look demure, but she couldn't hide the smile creeping across her face. He knew that even though she probably wouldn't admit it, she was proud of herself. Rachel had always been innocent, a good girl, and she was proud of that part of her reputation. But, especially since she had been with Finn, she had wanted to be able to be just a little bit sexy too, without going all sad clown hooker again. "Well, in that case," she gave him that naughty smile again, making him go weak in the knees. She slipped out of her spot between Finn and the door and headed for the stairs, turning to grab the front of his shirt along the way.

His eyes grew wide when he realized where she was guiding him to, then a grin quickly lit up his face. Finn thought it was totally hot the way she was taking charge and leading everything, but he wasn't about to let her have all the fun. He wanted to follow her cues, because he didn't want to feel like he was pushing her into anything, but once he knew they were headed for the bedroom he decided it was his turn to take over. With her delicate hand still gripping his shirt, he bent down, placing one arm behind her back and the other behind her knees, and literally swept her off her feet. She gasped, then giggled, as he carried her up to her room taking the stairs two at a time. She loved how strong he felt to her, how easily he managed to pick her up and move her around at will.

As soon as Rachel recovered from the surprise of being lifted into his arms and caught her breath, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and started planting kisses on his neck. They were light at first, butterfly kisses almost, but with each step she grew bolder, and by the time they reached her door she had started sucking lightly on his neck and nipping at his jaw line. "Oh … my … God," he breathed as she fumbled behind her for the doorknob, refusing to take her lips from his neck to look at the door. When he finally heard the click of the latch, he kicked the bottom of the door just hard enough to make it swing open, and kicked it closed again when they were inside the room.

Rachel giggled at Finn's attempt at privacy. "You know we're alone, right?" she breathed into his ear.

"Mmm, whatever," he moaned as she sucked his earlobe into her mouth. He instinctively closed his eyes, and had to remind himself to open them so he didn't bang the two of them into anything. He was pretty familiar with her room, but he didn't feel that he could trust his senses at the moment. When he reached the side of the bed, he lowered her gently and hovered over her, propping himself up with his hands on either side of her shoulders. He loved experiencing her rougher side, but as much as he wanted to throw her on the bed and put his hands all over her, he didn't want her to think that's all he thought of her. There was something else holding him back too. He couldn't assume that this would be the day that they actually, well, you know, but based on her current … mood … he thought it was safe to believe that they were going to get farther than they had yet. He couldn't let that happen without clearing something up with her. He had been putting the conversation off, not wanting to hurt her, but he knew that if he let things get too far between them without telling her about his mistake with Santana, that would hurt her more than he could stand. He had started unconsciously rubbing circles on her shoulder with his thumb, and she was staring up at him adoringly, biting her bottom lip.

Rachel was proud of herself. Normally every time she started, even wanted, to get intimate with Finn, some nagging fear inside her stopped her. She wasn't sure what she was afraid of, certainly not him. She thought she was afraid of the actual intimacy itself, of being completely exposed to him both physically and emotionally, and mostly afraid of being vulnerable and open. But this time, she wanted it and that fear wasn't there holding her back. She was actually being a lot bolder than she ever thought she could be, but he seemed to be loving it, and she was quite impressed with her ability to please him so far. She believed sex was about love and emotion and intimacy, not simply physical attraction, and she wanted their first time to be special and loving, but she was actually having fun being a little naughty. She decided that it was ok for sex to be all of the above.

Her stomach leapt at the tenderness he used in laying her on the bed. He was being incredible. It would have been really easy for him to just take advantage of her current mood, but instead he was letting her take the lead and following all her cues, only moving forward once she had given him a reason to. But since he had placed her on the bed, he was moving a lot slower. She had expected him to at least lean in to kiss her, but he was still hovering over her, staring at her and rubbing her shoulder. She thought she knew why he was hesitating, and she decided to help him out. Besides, he needed to know the truth about her and Jesse before things went any farther anyway. She didn't think it would change anything, but he still deserved to know. She saw him open his mouth a couple times, clearly trying to find the right words to say what he needed to say, as he studied her face. She pushed herself up on her elbows and decided to just jump right in, breaking the ice. "Finn, we need to talk."

"There's something I have to tell you," he said at the same time. She giggled at their awkward timing as he stood upright beside her bed, shoving his hands in his pockets and staring sheepishly at his feet.

"Me first," she answered, pushing herself up more so that she was sitting on the bed and leaning back against the headboard. She tucked her feet under her as she grabbed his hands and pulled him down onto the bed with her. "Ok," she took a deep breath and continued, "I never had sex with Jesse. I'm still a virgin, Finn." He only rubbed the backs of her hands with his thumbs and nodded. "What, you knew?" Rachel was actually surprised.

"Well, I mean, I didn't KNOW know, but yeah, I knew." He never broke eye contact with her.

"But how? I didn't tell anyone. I didn't have anyone _to _tell," she added quietly, breaking their gaze to look down at their hands. She loved that Finn was her best friend, but she also hated that he was her only friend. Sure, the other kids in glee had gotten a little nicer to her recently, but they still weren't her friends, and a lot of times she felt like they were only being nice to her because of Finn.

"Well," he began, reaching out to lift her chin so that she was looking at him again, "it was partly because you insisted on moving so slowly with me. I told myself, I _hoped _at least_,_ that if you wouldn't do it with me then you certainly wouldn't have done it with him." He paused, looking at her as if for confirmation. She reached out to rub his cheek with the back of her hand then ran her fingers through his hair, smiling and nodding in affirmation. She could have sworn that he let out a sigh of relief before he smiled and continued. "But mostly I knew because I just know you, Rach. If you had done … that … with him, you wouldn't have been able to move on so quickly with me. You feel things too much, and it would have taken you a lot longer to get over him." Rachel was amazed at how he could take one of the things she hated about herself and tried desperately to hide, and not only see it but somehow turn it into a good thing. "The way you feel things, your passion, that's one of the things I love about you. You're special Rachel, and everything you do is special. Jesse just … wasn't special."

Rachel knew she was supposed to be giving him the chance to share his secret with her, but she couldn't help herself, she leaned forward and kissed him firmly on the lips, cradling his face in both of her hands. He reached up and grasped her hands, bringing them to his lips and placing a feather-soft kiss in each of her palms. "Why didn't you ever say anything?" she asked, resting her hands in his lap.

He shrugged and smiled his crooked smile, one eyebrow cocked, "I knew you'd tell me when you were ready." He rubbed his hand up and down her arm a couple of times, working up the courage to continue. "Ok, guess it's my turn now," he took a deep breath. _'Just go for it,' _he told himself. "Umm, wow, ok, this is tough. Just remember Rach, no matter what I say in the next few minutes, I love you. I only love you, and I've really only ever loved you."

'_Thank God I already know what he is going to say,' _Rachel thought, trying to keep her face blank, _'or else I would be really freaked out right now.' _She nodded, encouraging him to continue.

"So, that time I went out with Santana, I actually did have sex with her," the words flew out of his mouth, rushed and pushed together. "I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have lied, I was just embarrassed because of how crappy it made me feel. I'm so, SO sorry."

"I know," was all Rachel said. She almost wanted to laugh at how adorable he was being about the whole thing, how sincere he was.

"So you don't hate me? Thank Go – wait, you know I'm sorry, or you know I slept with Santana?"

"I know about Santana," Rachel replied matter-of-factly. She continued watching his eyes and waited for him to continue. She was ready for the conversation to be over. Just because she knew, it didn't make talking about it any less uncomfortable.

"I, I don't understand," Finn squinted at her in confusion.

"That next day," she began, "right after I lied, well, after we both lied to each other," she hated the way that sounded, "I went into the bathroom to lock myself in a stall and cry. I felt awful. Santana and Brittany came in and they didn't notice me, why would they? Anyway, Brittany asked Santana how things went and she said, and I quote, 'mission accomplished.'" Finn's stomach churned and he rolled his eyes at what the bitchy cheerleader had said. "I was about to come out of the stall and confront her about lying, I had no reason not to trust what you had told me," Finn dropped his eyes, he felt awful about betraying that trust, "but then she kept talking. She told Brittany that she was actually kind of disappointed in the whole thing," Finn's face burned, now Santana had his girlfriend thinking he sucked in bed. It could have been true, it's not like he'd had a lot of practice, but he didn't want Rachel thinking that before he even got a chance to try. "She said that once it was over, all you did was whine – her word, not mine – about how you thought you were going to 'feel different' and how it was supposed to 'be special.' The air quotes are hers too," she rolled her eyes. "I just stayed in the stall until they left. I was too disgusted to look at her after hearing the way she talked about you." Rachel stopped talking and looked at him.

"Rach, before I say anything else, you have to know, I feel completely awful about this. Really, I feel awful about all of it. I feel awful about doing it with her, I feel awful about lying to you about it, and I feel especially awful that you had to listen to that crap." Finn reached out and lifted a section of her hair from her shoulder, twirling it between his fingers. He loved her hair, the silky feel of it, the shine, and of course the smell. "But as much as that must have sucked for you, you have to know that part of what she said is true. I did think that I should have felt different afterward, and I did expect it to be special. She may have been disappointed, but so was I Rachel. More than anything I was disappointed in myself. And I think one of the reasons I never told you was because it didn't even seem real, like it didn't count, because it didn't mean anything. And I didn't want to hurt you over something that didn't mean anything." Rachel leaned forward and hooked her hands behind his neck, pulling his face to hers and kissing him. As they sat with their foreheads pressed together, both just looking at the other's contented smile, he grabbed her hips and pulled her closer to him. "If you knew all along, why didn't you ever say anything?"

She gave him a playful smile, "I knew you'd tell me when you were ready." He laughed and lifted her off the bed, dropping her on his lap so that her legs hung down to his left. He draped his arms lazily around her waist, thinking there was no way after that conversation that they were picking up where they had left off earlier. Still, he was glad they had the conversation. Now, the next time they were in that position, whenever that was, there would be nothing standing in their way.

"Look, Rach," he began, "about earlier, that was, wow, it was awesome," his eyes got huge and she giggled at his earnestness, "but I don't, I mean, we don't …" He abruptly stopped talking and inhaled sharply as her hands slid inside his button-down to tug his t-shirt out of his jeans. He felt her lips just behind his ear and he involuntarily dipped his head to the side to give her better access. "Mmm," was all he could manage to get out when she turned her body toward his, swinging one leg over his so that she was propped on her knees straddling him.

"I love you," she whispered breathily into his ear. "I love you even more now than ever before." She pulled back to look into his eyes as she waited to see how he would respond. She knew that their conversation probably should have calmed her desires a bit, but she still wanted him just as much as before. Their honesty, the freedom from their secrets, made her feel closer to him than ever and that was a big turn-on for her.

"I love you too," he snaked his hands up her back so that they rested on her shoulder blades. He could feel her fingers curling around the hem of his t-shirt. "But I don't want to push you, you know that, right?" Even as he said it, her finger nails were snaking up his bare back. The look in her eyes told him that she was planning on doing some pushing of her own. Seriously, where was this coming from? She pulled her hands out of his shirt, and his skin felt cold at the absence of her touch. She leaned forward, again finding his neck with her mouth. He moaned softly as her fingers began working the buttons on his shirt, starting from the bottom. When she had released the top button, she slid her hands under the shirt and pushed it off his shoulders. Almost involuntarily, he dropped his hands from her back to his sides so that she could push the shirt completely off of him, then put his hands behind him to support his weight. When he leaned away from her slightly, he could see that the way she was sitting, straddling his broad lap, had caused her skirt to ride up so that it barely covered her panties and he could see all except the top couple inches of her legs. The sight was almost too much for him to handle, so he closed his eyes and turned his head to meet her mouth with his own. He brought his right hand to the back of her head, hoping to keep her attention on his lips that way. The feeling of her lips on his neck and the sight of her skirt pushed up around her hips, still burned onto the backs of his eyelids, had forced him to picture the mailman once already. He needed a break, and it wasn't that making out with her didn't make him totally hot, but he had kind of gotten used to it over the past few months so it was easier for him to stay calm. In his desperation to control his body, he didn't notice that Rachel's hands had moved from his shoulders and were nimbly undoing the button and zipper on his jeans.

Realizing that he was quickly reaching the point of no return, Finn used the hand still on the bed to push himself completely upright again. He had to make sure Rachel was really ready and that they were on the same page before going any farther. He kissed her one more time, softly, then pulled away from her, resting his hands on the tops of her legs. "I love you so much," he began, reaching up to play gently with her hair again, "and don't get me wrong, I love this. God I love this!"

"I can tell," Rachel giggled as she wiggled a little lower onto his lap.

"Not fair," he groaned. "I'm trying to be serious here, and you're making it really hard." Her eyes lit up and her mouth flew open, ready to respond to his unfortunate word choice. "Ah, no! Not a word!"His hand flew up to cup over her mouth and she resorted to giggling uncontrollably. "My point is," he rolled his eyes, starting his speech again, "I love you, and I respect you too much to feel like I'm pushing you into anything you're not ready for. This is a really big deal, and if you want to stop, I won't be mad or upset or anything; a little blue maybe, but not upset." He smiled at his own clever pun, but she only looked back at him, clearly not getting the joke. He leaned forward to rest his forehead against hers and continued, "All I'm saying is, you know I want to, you know, _be _with you, but only when you want it to happen."

"Finn, I promise, you're not pushing anything. I want this to happen, especially now, after all we've just been through." She had loved him for a long time, but she didn't realize until that day just how deep that love was. She felt a need to celebrate that, to mark it somehow. "This just seems like the perfect time, and I'm ready."

"Yeah?" He tried to hide the eagerness he knew was probably showing on his face, but her smile told him he hadn't succeeded. She didn't say anything in response; she just bit her bottom lip and nodded at him. He had been more than happy to follow her lead up to this point, but now that he knew it really was safe to move forward, it was his turn to have some fun. He wrapped one arm around her waist, pulling her body tighter into his, and cradled the back of her head in his other hand as he crashed his lips onto hers, pushing his tongue into her mouth. She moaned her approval, gripping his hair tightly in one hand. This time, when her teeth grazed his bottom lip, he only tangled his hand into her hair and squeezed her waist closer to him.

When Rachel's lips started moving along his jaw line once more, he tightened his grip on her a little more and stood up, her legs swinging around his waist almost automatically. "What the? How did you …" Finn stammered as his jeans fell to a heap around his ankles.

"Guess I'm just good like that," she breathed into his ear before turning her attention back to his collarbone.

"Oh, you're good alright," he laughed mischievously, causing her to look up at him. "But I hope now you're ready for payback!" Rachel's eyes widened and she wondered exactly what he meant by 'payback.' She felt his hands shifting behind her. He moved his left hand up immediately between her shoulder blades and the other down to the waistband of her skirt as he clumsily worked off his sneakers and kicked off his jeans. He fiddled with her zipper, which was fairly difficult with only one hand. He managed to work the zipper down an inch or two, hoping it would be enough to loosen the skirt enough to slide off. She was so tiny, it shouldn't be difficult. He turned to face the bed, and, keeping his left hand squarely planted on her back to keep her from falling, placed his right hand in front of him to brace them both as he fell forward onto the bed. When Rachel was solidly on the bed, Finn ran his hand lightly down the side of her face and leaned in for a kiss, stopping just as his nose brushed hers. He turned his head quickly and leaned down to place his lips mere millimeters from her ear, "Mmm, not yet," he whispered, standing up.

Her eyes grew large and she gasped, dropping her hands, which had been moving to cradle his face. She lowered her chin and looked up at him through her eyelashes, a look that usually got her whatever she wanted from him. "Nope, not this time missy," he smirked at her and shook his head. He placed both of his hands on the outsides of her knees and began inching, slowly and lightly, up her thighs. He stopped when his fingers were just grazing the hem of her skirt. He stood unmoving for nearly a minute, grinning like a fool and watching her face. She looked as if she would cry, only she didn't look sad. Part of him wanted to keep teasing her, but another, very specific part of him, wanted him to continue just as much as she did.

Rachel couldn't understand what he was doing. She knew that he wanted this just as much as she did, she had been holding him off for months. But as she studied his face, the word 'payback' flashed through her mind and she realized that he was actually _enjoying _this. He was having fun torturing her. _'Well, I'll make him regret that.' _Suddenly she felt a small tug as his fingers tightened around the hem of her skirt and she involuntarily lifted her hips while he yanked the skirt off her and tossed it across the room. _'No I won't,' _she amended her previous thought. The truth was she was enjoying herself way too much to care that he was teasing her a little.

"So sexy," he murmured as he took in the sight of her gorgeous legs, followed by simple white cotton panties, then about an inch of that super smooth skin just above the elastic of those panties, and finally her almost-too-short gauzy blouse.

Rachel's face glowed with embarrassment and she propped herself up on her elbows. "Please don't make fun of me," now she actually did look sad, "I mean, I was supposed to be over two hours away from you right now. I didn't see any problem wearing my nerd-girl panties."

Realizing that she had misunderstood him, Finn leaned over her propping himself up on his hands so that he was only inches from her lips. "Baby, I wasn't being sarcastic. You are crazy sexy right now." He kissed her tenderly on the mouth, brushing her lips with his tongue.

Her eyes lit up a little, "Really? Are you sure?" He reminded himself of just how fragile she was and how scared she probably was and made a mental note to stop playing around so much. He thought sex should be fun, and he knew it would be, but he also wanted her first time to be sweet, and gentle, and loving. They would have plenty of opportunities to mix it up a bit once they were more comfortable with each other in that way.

"I guess I need to prove it to you," he replied almost in a whisper, sliding one hand behind her head and the other under her blouse and around to the small of her back. He brought one knee onto the bed between her legs and leaned in farther, forcing her to relax back onto the bed. Her hands caressed the sides of his face and his hand moved up her back to work her bra clasp clumsily as his tongue again explored every inch of her mouth. Having finally successfully unhooked her bra, he leaned back and searched her face. "Umm, Rach, do we need, I mean, do you have …"

"My dads put me on the pill on my 15th birthday, just in case. And you're my first, so unless you think Santana …"

"No, I'm good," he didn't want her to have to finish that sentence. And he really was good, shortly after he and Rachel had gotten back together he went and had everything checked out. He had hoped this moment would come eventually, and he didn't want Rachel to suffer yet again because of his idiotic mistake.

"Then I think we're good," she strained her neck to bring their mouths together again. As they kissed, he brought his hands to her top button, opening it gently and slowly. When he moved on to the next button he brought his kisses just under her chin. And with each button, he moved even lower, until finally he was unbuttoning the bottom button of her blouse and kissing the hollow between her breasts, which were still covered by her bra, but only barely since he had unclasped it and it had shifted during his slow opening of her shirt. He raised his eyes to look at her, wanting to make sure she still seemed to be enjoying what he was doing. Her head was thrown back and her eyes were closed. He smiled and told himself he must be doing something right.

She had expected to be anxious, even uncomfortable, when they made love for the first time. It was a huge step, after all. But all she felt was amazing. Physically, what he was doing felt incredible and sent chills all over her body. Emotionally, she felt loved and protected in a way she never had. She lay on the bed with her eyes closed, trying to just take in everything was feeling. She felt his hands slide around to her back, forcing her shirt to open even wider. She opened her eyes when she felt him pulling her up off the bed. "You good?" he whispered, kneeling between her legs and holding her up.

"Amazing," she whispered back. They had both become very serious. Very happy, but very serious. He watched her face carefully as he moved his hands to her shoulders and grasped her shirt loosely. She nodded at him, and he brushed the shirt down and off her arms. He didn't wait for permission to remove her bra, but he watched her carefully, ready to stop at any sign that she was uncomfortable. He couldn't help but shift his eyes when her breasts became exposed.

"Wow," he sighed, then looked to her face quickly. He didn't want to accidentally hurt her feelings again, but this time she was smiling. She seemed to be getting that he just wanted _her _no matter what, and because he loved her he thought everything about her was perfect. Although, to be honest, he had always thought she was hot, even before they got together, and he knew he wasn't the only one. He saw the way other guys at school looked at her when they thought no one was looking. It didn't make him jealous, he knew she loved him too much to even consider what another guy thought, but it made him damn proud that he was the one lucky enough to get her. He placed his hands on her hips and kissed her sweetly on the mouth, "I love you," he said almost too quietly for her to hear. Then he lowered his head and started planting kisses down the front of her right breast. He paused when he got to the nipple, and she could feel his hot breath on her very sensitive skin. She could see the goosebumps popping up on her arms out of the corner of her eye. She wondered if he had any clue what this was doing to her.

When he closed his mouth over her nipple, she sucked in a gasp of air and reached for the hem of his t-shirt. He moved away from her breast just long enough for her to pull the shirt over his head, then he moved quickly to take her left nipple in his mouth. _'Have to keep things even, right?' _ he thought. She had been trying to watch him, but she dropped her head back onto the bed and squeezed her eyes shut when she felt a chill start at her toes and move all the way up her body then down her arms to her fingertips. As he began moving his mouth back up her chest toward her throat, he took one hand off her hip and used it to brush a strand of hair from her eyes then propped himself up on his elbow. With his other hand he hooked two fingers into the waistband of her panties and tugged slightly, pulling them down just a few centimeters at the side. He kissed her again, sucking her bottom lip gently into his mouth. "Still good?" he whispered against her mouth. Instead of answering, she simply lifted her hips off the bed, allowing him to slide her panties down her legs and onto the floor, flicking off her flats when he reached her feet.

Finn paused for a moment to catch his breath upon seeing his girlfriend completely naked for the first time. "You are amazing," he said to her, but he wished he could think of a word stronger than 'amazing.' He lowered his body on top of hers enough to feel her skin against his, but not so much that he put any of his actual weight on her. He balanced his weight on one arm, propped on his elbow, and ran the other hand slowly down her arm. He could feel the goosebumps on her skin, a result of their bodies coming into contact without the barrier of clothing. He moved his hand from her arm to her face, caressing her cheek softly and kissing her tenderly on the lips. "Open your eyes, Rach," he requested quietly.

She did as he had asked her to do, not wanting him to think that she was not happy with what they were doing or that he was doing anything wrong. It was just that she kind of felt the way she did when she was singing – her emotions were almost too much for her to take, and closing her eyes helped her feel it all. When her eyes opened, she saw his staring back at her. He smiled then kissed her lightly on the tip of her nose. She giggled in spite of herself at the cute gesture. His hand, which had been cradling her cheek, moved slowly down her body. She drew in a sharp breath as his hand passed over her breast and his thumb brushed her nipple. He lowered his face to kiss her ear and neck as his hand continued moving down her torso. His hand stopped when it reached her hip. Rachel knew that Finn had wanted to have sex with her for almost as long as they had been together, so she could only assume that his hesitation was out of concern for her. Hoping to assure him that she was ready and encourage him to let his worries go, she slipped one hand into the back of his boxers and scratched her nails lightly over his butt. She held back a giggle when she saw that it was his turn to get goosebumps. She tangled her free hand into his hair, using the leverage to direct his mouth back to hers. Before he could react, she drew his bottom lip into her mouth and sucked it sensually.

Finn wanted to make love to Rachel more than anything in the world, and his body was screaming at him to just move already, but he remained conscious of the fact that it was a really big deal for her, for them. He reminded himself to move slowly. In part, he was giving her an opportunity to stop him if she needed to, but he was also enjoying taking his time and getting to know her body. He knew that this would be something he would remember. But apparently, Rachel's body was starting to get as impatient as his. He may not have been the brightest guy, but there were some hints he could take. When she slipped her hand into his boxers and clutched his hair, he got the message. He again began moving his hand lower. When his fingertips reached the extra-soft skin between her thighs, he was surprised at the wetness already present.

Rachel could feel Finn smile against her lips when his hand finally moved between her legs. She wanted to smile back, it felt incredible, but it seemed that she had lost control of her body. Instead she bit her lip and whipped her head to the side. She stopped tracing patterns on his butt with her fingers and clutched his boxers, trying to pull them down. She whimpered quietly when she realized she couldn't reach far enough to move them more than an inch or two. She heard him let out a short laugh at her obvious frustration as he stood, hunched over slightly so as not to have to remove his hand from her body. She turned her head forward so that she was facing him, watching him remove the last thing that remained between them. She found him adorable as he struggled to shed his boxers with only one hand, still playing her body with the fingers of the other. When he finally managed to slide the underwear down enough so that they fell to the floor, her eyes grew and she held her breath momentarily. How was _that_ supposed to go in _there_? But before she was able to worry about the logistics any more, he knelt on the bed, pushing her legs a little farther apart with his knees. He leaned back over her and placed a lingering kiss on her forehead. "I love you so very much, Rachel Barbra Berry," she had lost track of how many times he had said those words since they got back to her house, but honestly, she couldn't hear it enough.

Never breaking their eye contact, Finn removed his right hand from Rachel's warm center and grasped himself, positioning himself at her opening. When he had found the spot he was looking for, the entrance that would allow him to become a part of her, he removed his hand and slipped his arms under her body. With one arm around her hips and the other looped behind her shoulders he pushed his hips forward, entering her slightly. As he continued to push into her body, he lowered his face so that his cheek rested lightly against hers. He heard her inhale sharply when he pushed slightly harder, moving into her a little more deeply. "I'm so sorry baby," he whispered, his mouth brushing against her ear as he spoke. He knew it was supposed to hurt the first time for girls, he had done his research – he had wanted to make sure he did everything right when she let him be with her, whenever that time came – but that didn't change the way he felt when he felt a tear roll out of her eye and onto his cheek. He couldn't stand her being in pain for any reason, not even this. He lifted his face from hers and touched his lips to the corner of her eye, right where he had felt the tear. He didn't really move his body at first, giving her time to adjust to the feeling and to the size of him inside her. He continued kissing the side of her face, determined not to let another tear touch her cheek. When her face had relaxed and she seemed to be more comfortable with what she was feeling, he began to move inside her. He moved very slowly at first, only slightly rolling his hips against her.

He didn't speed up the tempo of his movements until her hips starting rising to meet his gentle thrusts. He moved both of his hands to her shoulders, then down her arms, only stopping when he reached her hands. He grasped her hands, their fingers interlocked, and pushed them up beside her shoulders so that he could keep his grip and still support his weight on his forearms. She was so tiny compared to him, and he was kind of terrified of crushing her or hurting her even more. He liked the feeling of their hands intertwined in that way, like every part of them was molding together and he leaned over to kiss the tips of every finger on one of her tiny hands. When he finished, he moved to go to the other hand, but he was stopped by Rachel meeting his mouth with hers. The feeling of his lips on hers, their tongues dancing together between their mouths, sent a heat wave through both of their bodies.

Rachel began moving her hips faster, pushing harder against him. The pain had begun to subside and she was really enjoying the feeling of Finn inside her. When they reached a steady rhythm, moving together at a regular pace with her thighs pressed against his sides and her ankles crossed behind his back, Finn released his grip on her hands. He slid his hands back up her arms and pushed one under her head, cradling her head and clutching her hair at the same time. He moved the other hand down her body, pausing momentarily to roll her nipple between his thumb and forefinger. She smiled against his lips in spite of herself, and she felt him smile too. This time it was his turn to gently nip her bottom lip. After playing with her breast a little more – he liked doing anything that made her feel good – he moved his hand lower. She moaned and wiggled her hips against his hand when he reached the dampness just above where their bodies came together. _'Jackpot,' _he thought. She seemed to finally have moved past the initial pain and was enjoying herself as much as he was.

They made love for much longer than Finn had feared he would be able to. Once he figured out some of the things that really got her going, he lost himself in pleasing her and didn't focus much on what he was feeling. When he felt her begin to get tighter around him and dig her nails into his back, he felt that all too familiar feeling. But when he looked at her face, with her head thrown back and her eyes squeezed shut, a low moan escaping her lips, he realized he wouldn't be needing the mailman or any other tricks. He began moving faster inside her, and when he knew he couldn't take any more and he was about to lose control, she screamed and let out her breath in short gasps, pushing him over the edge. Physically and emotionally spent, he collapsed on top of her. She worked her fingers into his hair, running them in random patterns over his scalp. Suddenly conscious of his weight on top of her, Finn rolled onto his side next to her, draping his arm lazily across her flat stomach.

"Mmm, thank you," he murmured into her hair.

"What?" she almost snapped at him, whipping her head to the side to face him. Was he seriously _thanking _herfor _sex_?

"Thank you for loving me enough to let me be the one," he continued talking into her hair, running his fingers lightly up and down her side without lifting his arm from her stomach. "And for being my 'one'."

She smiled, she should have known better than to suspect him of being cold or insincere. He just didn't always know the best way to express himself; words weren't his strong suit. But when she just gave him a chance, let him work it out between his heart and his mouth, he usually had better things to say than anyone else. "So, it counted then?" she asked, only half joking but trying to keep her voice light.

"Oh, it counted," he nuzzled deeper into her hair and kissed her shoulder. "I've never felt anything more real or more special in my life."

**Ok, I hate to beg for reviews, but I really need them on this one! I would absolutely love to hear what you all think. I wanted it to be descriptive and vivid, but not trashy, so let me know if you think I accomplished that, and if not, suggestions please! Also, I know I changed up my format a bit by having this whole chapter cover both of their POVs rather than giving each individually then bringing them together, but it just seemed really appropriate for this milestone event. I hope that didn't throw things off.**

**On a side note, updates for this story may slow down just a bit because I am about to start another one. I didn't want to try to do more than one at a time, but I got this idea in my head the other day and it refuses to go away until I get it on paper. My goal is to update both stories about every four days or so (I know this chapter took longer anyway, sorry about that!). I hope you don't give up on this story, and I hope you will jump onto the other one with me too!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Just one little note, or **_**translation**_ **if you will; 'pop' means soda, Coke, etc. I grew up in Kentucky saying 'pop' and I got so excited in "Ballad" when Finn told the Fabrays he had "too much pop." As I moved farther south I would use the word and people would look at me like I was crazy, so to hear it being used on Glee just tugged at my heartstrings a little. I just didn't want to confuse anyone!**

"Ok," Rachel pushed herself up on one elbow, trying to pry Finn's arm off her stomach.

"No no no, just stay. Can't we just lay together for a little while, please? I love feeling you."

Rachel squeezed her eyes shut and smiled. Her boyfriend really was adorable. "You don't understand," she began, tugging on his hand again. "I have to …"

"I do understand," he cut her off. He nuzzled farther into her hair and pulled her even tighter to him. "You stay."

She giggled and patted his arm. "I have to pee sweetie, and your arm is kind of crushing my bladder."

"Oh!" He jumped away from her a little bit, lifting his arm from her stomach. "Sorry babe," his face was growing pink and he looked sheepish. But as he watched her stand up off the bed and walk across the room, completely naked, the look was replaced with one of complete adoration.

Rachel felt a chill come across her body as soon as Finn lifted his arm from her middle. She didn't remember it being cold in the room earlier, but she had grown accustomed to the heat of his body. Making her way toward the door, she picked up the first piece of clothing she saw: his button-down shirt. She didn't turn around, but she smirked to herself when she heard him exhale deeply as she wiggled into the shirt.

Having relieved her bladder of what seemed like a gallon of liquid, Rachel stared into the bathroom mirror and wondered if she was supposed to feel something. Should she feel awkward, or even guilty? She had been so sure that she wanted to wait, maybe even until marriage, so should she feel guilty or disappointed in herself now for giving up on that conviction? As she studied her reflection she realized that all she felt was happy, and loved. She was glad she had made love to Finn. But mostly, she was glad she had decided not to leave Lima. Cincinnati held opportunities for her; that was true. But her voice wasn't going anywhere, and she would have countless opportunities in the future to make strides toward her career. Unlike Cincinnati, Lima had something that she couldn't get anywhere else, and he was in her bedroom. She smiled at her reflection and went to join him.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Rachel stopped in her bedroom doorway, watching Finn as he stood in the middle of her bedroom in his boxers with a shoe in one hand, looking around the room in obvious bewilderment.

"I can't find my pants," he replied, confusion tingeing his voice.

"Why? Are, are you going somewhere?" Rachel's voice dripped with sadness. She knew that other guys liked to 'love 'em and leave 'em' as the crass saying went, but she thought Finn _actually_ loved her, which she thought protected her from that situation.

"Not if you don't want me to, but you put," Finn momentarily gave up his search to turn toward Rachel, "_that_ on." He dropped his sneaker when he saw her leaning on the doorway. She was still wearing his shirt, and nothing else. She had only bothered to button the middle button, pulling the shirt together so that it came to a deep-V, barely concealing her breasts, then opened back into an A-line that stopped about halfway down her thighs. She stood with her hands behind her back, emphasizing her breasts even more.

"I was cold," she said with a slight pout. "And I really like the way it smells." She pulled the collar around her face for effect.

"Oh," he replied, grinning at her. "So then what …" He was caught off guard as she tossed him the remote to the tiny pink television that sat on her dresser.

"Well, do you maybe just wanna lie down and watch television or something?" She had already walked to the opposite side of the bed and was turning down the comforter. She didn't know what she wanted to do any more than he did, but she did know that she didn't want him going anywhere. And she wasn't crazy about the idea of him putting his clothes back on either.

"Yeah, totally," his smile grew and he grabbed the corner of the comforter on his side of the bed to help her pull it down. When he had gotten comfortable, lying on his back with his head propped up on a couple of her many pillows, she snuggled next to him with her arm slung across his waist and her head resting on his chest under his chin. He kissed the top of her head as he wrapped his free hand around her shoulders and squeezed her a little closer to him. He had never felt so happy, so completely peaceful and content, in his life. It just seemed like everything was perfect. Her body fit into his seamlessly, and his heart swelled every time he inhaled the scent of her hair. And, she had given him the remote. How much better could she get? "Man, daytime tv sucks," he laughed. He wasn't usually home at 2:30 in the afternoon.

Rachel didn't respond, which was unusual for her. She always had something to say. "Rach?" he said gently, craning his neck to get a look at her face. Her eyes were closed and her shoulders were rising and falling in a slow, steady rhythm. He turned off the tv and placed the remote on the nightstand, scooting down farther into the bed and closing his eyes.

~.~.~.~.~.~

When Rachel's eyes fluttered open, the first thing she noticed was that it was dark. It was only September, the sun was already up by the time she usually woke. Then she remembered that she had fallen asleep at around 2:30 in the afternoon, so it was probably evening, or at most, the middle of the night. And then, she remembered _why_ she fell asleep around 2:30 in the afternoon, and she reached behind her and started to roll over, expecting to feel Finn's body. When she found the bed empty and cold, she furrowed her brows in confusion. Thinking that he must be in the bathroom, or maybe even the kitchen or living room, she threw off the covers and jumped out of bed. Shocked by the cool air of the room hitting her skin, she pulled his shirt tighter around her and fastened the buttons she had ignored earlier. She also decided to grab a pair of underwear from her drawer, since she wasn't used to walking around without any and the feeling was a little uncomfortable to her.

As soon as she exited her room, it was obvious that he wasn't in the bathroom, since the room was directly across the hall from hers and the door was still standing wide open, the same as she had left it before. Hopeful, she started down the stairs. When she got to the landing halfway down and she still couldn't hear the television, she began to get worried. She searched the first floor of the house and found no trace of her boyfriend anywhere. Knowing it was a total long shot, she even headed for the basement. He had no reason to be down there, and deep down she knew he wouldn't be, but her heart pulled her down the stairs anyway. Returning to the house's main level, she forced herself to do the one thing she had been putting off. She walked to the tall window to the right of the front door and pulled the curtain aside, her heart falling as she saw only her own small car in the driveway. She pulled her cell phone from her purse, which still lay on the floor where she had dropped it in her haste to climb onto Finn. 'No New Alerts'

'_It's ok,' _she tried to convince herself. _'He didn't know I would be home this evening. He probably had plans. He could have woken me up, but still. He had plans already, I can't expect him to drop everything and spend the whole evening in my room.'_ She was still trying to console herself when she returned to her room. She wouldn't let herself believe that Finn had cold-heartedly gotten up and left her alone without a good reason. She climbed back into bed – all of her stress and her long hours trying to spend as much time with Finn as possible the last few days was really taking a toll on her – and switched on the television with the remote he had left on her bedside table. She thought her hand brushed against something when she reached for the remote, but when she looked all she saw was a glass of water that she really didn't remember leaving there. She thought she had cleaned her room better than that before she left earlier that morning. She flipped through the channels until she found "House" and snuggled into the blankets, pulling his shirt up to her face and inhaling his scent. She was back to sleep before the opening credits rolled.

When Rachel awoke Tuesday morning, she finally felt rested and alert. She had always heard that stress could take a physical toll on the body, but she was just realizing how true that was. She had never felt as exhausted as she had in the last day or two. Thankfully, that seemed to be over; her tension had been released (she thought Finn probably had a lot to do with that) and she no longer felt groggy. But as she pushed herself up to a sitting position with her back propped against the headboard, she felt her stomach begin to tighten into a knot. She reached under the pillow for her phone, which she had fallen asleep clutching. Her eyes glossed over with tears when she saw that her phone still held no news for her.

She didn't understand what happened. She knew teenage boys liked sex. And she knew that many of them were willing to do just about anything to get it. She also knew that many of them thought it was no big deal to just take off afterward. She just didn't know that Finn was one of those boys. Something deep inside tried to convince her that Finn wouldn't have been so upset about her leaving if he didn't really care about her the way she cared about him. But that insecure voice was back again, reminding her that he had never really told her he wanted her to stay. He never actually said that he was upset, he had even encouraged her to go. And she couldn't _really_ tell from Shelby's photo that he was crying, Shelby was trying to manipulate her into staying anyway, she could have somehow taken the picture to make it look like he was crying when that wasn't what was going on at all.

Rachel had waited so long, waiting for the perfect moment and the perfect person, to give up her virginity. Earlier that day she had believed that it was that moment, and that Finn was that person. She didn't understand how she could possibly have been so mistaken. She was usually a better judge than that, she usually had a gift for knowing when people didn't care about her and were only using her for something, usually her talent. But then, this wasn't the first time Finn had tricked her in that department. Her shoulders began to heave as her sobs grew stronger. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed the water glass on her nightstand. As she reached for it, she _knew_ she didn't leave it there by mistake. Finn had put it there for her. The part of her that still wanted to love him said that she should at least give him credit for trying to do something to make her feel better. But the other part, that part in the back of her brain that kept nagging at her, reminded her that him leaving the water only meant that he knew she would be upset and left anyway.

She flipped the television to the dvd input, and as she was about to drag herself out of bed to go through the few dvds she had left after packing her room for Cincinnati, she saw the menu screen for "The Way We Were." _'Guess I left it in there when I watched it the other night,'_ she thought. _'How appropriate.'_ She buried everything except her eyes under the blankets and let the movie play on repeat, crying with Katie every time she lost Hubbell.

~.~.~.~.~.~

Finn rubbed his eyes groggily with the hand he could actually move. '_What's that noise? Why are the covers so heavy? Where am I?' _The latter two questions were answered as soon as his eyes focused from their sleepy state. The first thing he saw were dark, silky waves fanned out on the pink pillow next to him. "Mmm," he hummed, and smiled as he remembered that he was at Rachel's, in her bed. And when he realized that the covers weren't heavy, he was just being weighted down by her arm thrown across his (naked) waist and her (naked) legs twisted into a pretzel-like knot with his (also naked), he smiled even wider. He was pretty sure this was the best day of his life so far. He rolled over and wrapped his arm around her so that her body was completely enveloped in his and snuggled her head into his neck, resting his chin on the top of her head.

"Ugh," he groaned as he heard the noise again, realizing this time that it was his cell phone. He rolled back away from his beautiful girlfriend (_'I am seriously going to kill whoever is calling me right now'_). Well, his top half rolled away from her anyway, his bottom half was kind of trapped. He looked around the room wondering where his phone could have ended up, when he saw the leg of his jeans peeking out from under the bed. He strained to reach them without waking Rachel and flung them up onto the bed, digging his phone out of one of the front pockets. 'Kurt,' he rolled his eyes when he saw the name. He had no problem with Kurt, but the guy really needed to work on his timing. _'At least it's just a text,'_ Finn thought to himself. 'Your turn 2 pick – Clue or Life?' the text read. "Shit!" he grumbled under his breath, still conscious of the sleeping beauty lying next to him. What time was it? He had completely forgotten about 'family game night' with the Hudson/Hummel clan. He desperately wanted to skip out just this once, but he had just recently gotten things pretty well evened back out with Kurt and Burt after his unfortunate, and completely unintended, outburst in the basement and his mom would totally kill him if he did anything to risk messing that up. He exited the text message to check the time. "SHIT!" he grumbled again, more forcefully this time, but still careful not to wake Rachel. Fifteen minutes was not a lot of time. It was a good thing the Hummels didn't live far from Rachel, or he would never make it by 6:00.

He slid his arm from under Rachel's head and pushed up onto his elbows, carefully extracting his legs from hers. He froze when he felt her shift on the bed, but she went still again with her hand resting on his knee. He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it before he stood from the bed and pulled the covers close around her shoulders. He searched the room, looking for something to write on, and noticed the printer sitting on her desk. Sitting down at the desk, he snatched a piece of paper from the printer and picked up the first pen he could get his hand on – pink. _'Of course,'_ he thought to himself with a smile.

_Rachel,_

_I just got to wake up to find you sleeping next to me, and I gotta say, it was pretty much the best thing ever. I know the same thing happened to you yesterday in my hammock, but I'm pretty sure I got the better end of that deal. But that's pretty much the case for our whole relationship._

_Anyway, I'm sure you know I hate to leave you, but I'm supposed to go have "family time" with my mom and Kurt and his dad, whatever that means. I thought about waking you to tell you goodbye, but you are extra beautiful when you sleep, and I didn't want to mess that up. Oh, did you know you snore? Even that sounds great when you do it._

_I know your dads will be home tomorrow and you will probably be hanging out with them, which is cool, I get it. But, call me whenever you wake up cause I'm only across the room and I already feel wrong not being with you. _

_I hope you're still ok with everything, cause I know I am. It was the best thing that ever happened to me, remember you're my 1. _

_Faithfully,  
>Finn <em>

He folded the note and wrote her name on the outside, then placed it carefully on her nightstand so that it was standing up where she would see it. Then he had another idea. She had told him once that her dads always gave her a glass of water when she was sad. He hoped she wouldn't be sad when she woke up. He hoped she would feel as amazing about them as he did, but he knew what a big deal it was to her and that there was a chance she would feel conflicted, or even upset, about it. He pulled on his jeans, he wasn't comfortable walking around her house in just his boxers – it just didn't feel right – and went down to the kitchen to get her a glass of water. He left the water sitting on her nightstand, propping up the note he left her in lieu of a goodbye. Realizing how much more time he had lost (even though it was worth it to do those sweet things for her), he grabbed his sneakers and t-shirt and stumbled down the stairs trying to finish getting dressed.

When he burst through the front door at the Hummel house (only six minutes late, nothing to arouse suspicion) he was accosted by Kurt almost immediately. "Well, I hope 'Life' is good with you, since you didn't bother to return my text." Finn would have been annoyed if he wasn't so busy still being happy about Rachel, and a little worried that someone would just _know_ what he'd been doing.

"Sorry man, I was already on my way over. Don't text and drive and all that stuff," Finn clapped a hand on Kurt's shoulder. Kurt stopped talking so Finn figured he must have bought it. "Hey mom. Sorry I'm late," he bent down to peck his mom on the cheek and shook Burt's hand.

"Oh, are you late? Well, look at that, less than 10 minutes, you're getting better! Oh honey, you really shouldn't wear just a white t-shirt like that. Those are meant to be undershirts, it looks sloppy." Kurt nodded at Carol in approval.

"Right, sorry mom. I was just in a hurry to get dressed," Finn told his mom as he went to get a pop. "You know, from practice!" he added quickly from the kitchen. He walked back to the family room slowly, studying everyone's faces to see if he'd given himself up. They were all busy setting up the game and arranging their usual game-night dinner of finger foods (hors d'ouevres, as Kurt liked to call them), so he seemed to be in the clear. "Ok, let's get this party started!" He clapped and rubbed his hands together, feigning excitement when all he really wanted was to be back under the snuggly comforter and silky smooth sheets of Rachel's bed.

Family game night actually wasn't too bad. He was starting to really enjoy getting to spend time with Burt, he wasn't his dad but it was nice to be around a man, and Kurt could be really cool sometimes. And of course he had the most awesome mom in the world, so that always helped. When he and Carol got home a couple hours later, he busied himself with a project he had decided to work on and managed to keep his mind from dwelling on Rachel, too much. But when Tuesday morning rolled around and he got to school and he still hadn't heard from her, he was starting to get a little anxious.

"Hey dude, what's up?" Finn jumped and covered his chest with his hand when he closed his locker and saw Puck on the other side.

"Geez man, you're as bad as Rachel. I thought she was the only person in this school who hid behind locker doors." He tried to sound harsh, but it was pretty hard to do when he was saying anything about Rachel.

"How is the second best looking Jew in school anyway?" Puck smirked as the boys made their way toward their first period classes, "Get her home to her daddies all safe and snug or some shit?"

"Yeah, she's good. Got her settled back in really good," Finn lowered his head to keep his friend from seeing the smile forming on his face. "Oh yeah," he tried to change the subject before Puck could tell something was up, the last thing he needed was Puck knowing about his sex life, "thanks for covering for me with Tanaka yesterday. I owe you."

"Well, since you mention it," Puck stopped in front of Finn as he was getting ready to enter his English III classroom. Finn rolled his eyes, waiting not-so-patiently for his friend to continue. "Matt's having a party tonight, and my band's playing. It's our first actual gig, you gotta come."

"Who has a party on a Tuesday?"

"We got that college expo field trip thing tomorrow, what better way to celebrate thinking about going to college than acting like we're going to college?" Puck shot Finn his 'I'm a badass I can do whatever I want' look.

"Yeah, ok. Sounds good," Finn conceded. "Actually, guys' night is kind of perfect. Rachel will probably want to spend the time with her dads anyway, so it's not like I have anything else to do."

"Guys' night?" Puck scoffed, "What kind of party would that be? No man, everyone's coming, even most of glee … Matt, duh, and Mike, Artie and Tina, you know Santana and Brittany don't miss a party, even Mercedes. Oh, and Quinn, of course."

"Umm, you know what," Finn rubbed the back of his neck and shifted, uncomfortable. "I actually don't think I'll be able to make it. I've got, umm," he tried desperately to come up with some excuse – he had already said Rachel would be with her dads, so that was out.

"Come on man, you can't avoid her forever. We're boys again, right?" Finn nodded his head, he really did enjoy having Puck back as a friend. "We'll, and she's my girl now, so we'll all have to hang out together at some point. I thought you were over her anyway, you have Rachel and you guys are like, sickeningly sweet together. You don't still have a thing for Quinn do you?" Puck actually looked concerned.

"No man, that's not it at all. I'm totally in love with Rachel," Puck rolled his eyes at Finn's display of emotion. "And I'm not worried about me at all, I'm actually pretty good around Quinn now. Just, neutral. But she's treated Rachel pretty badly, she even kind of attacked her in the bathroom at Breadsticks the other night."

"Yeah, she told me about that. I actually sorta fussed at her a little for it. And she didn't snap my head off, so that has to be some kind of good sign, right?" Both boys laughed.

"True, but you know how Rachel is, she can be pretty insecure, especially when it comes to Quinn, and I don't want to upset her."

"Rachel's a big girl, I bet she's stronger than you give her credit for," Puck tried to persuade him, but Finn still looked skeptical. "Look man, we haven't hung out in a long time, and I know that's mostly," Finn shot him a look and Puck rolled his eyes, "ok, _all_ my fault, but it'll be fun. And it's my band's _first gig_, you can't miss that!"

"Ok, fine," Finn gave in. "But if Rachel isn't comfortable with me coming, I'm out. And I'm going to try to get her to come with me."

"I can live with that." The boys parted ways and went to their separate first hour classes.

After first hour, when Finn and Puck should both have been heading to math, Puck saw Finn out of the corner of his eye heading in the other direction. He was kind of hard to miss in a high school hallway, at 6'3" and all. Finn didn't normally skip class, and Puck had no qualms about it, so he followed him. "Seriously, who skips class to go to glee club?" Puck muttered when he saw Finn enter the room.

"Umm, hey Mr. Schue, can I talk to you about something?" Finn caught his teacher off-guard thumbing through some sheet music.

"Finn, shouldn't you be in class? I don't think I can get you out of any more."

"Yeah, I know Mr. Schue, and thanks for that by the way. But I was hoping you could help me with something." Mr. Schuester looked at Finn warily, and Finn could practically hear him thinking, _'Please don't tell me Rachel's pregnant.'_

"Umm, ok. Do I need to sit down for this?"

"No, it's nothing like that. I just have this song, and I was hoping you could look at it for me." Finn pulled some papers out of his backpack and handed them across the piano to Mr. Schue. "I didn't really want to do it in class with everyone else." The teacher looked over the pages, nodding occasionally.

"Finn, this looks really good," he laid the pages down on top of the piano. He nodded toward the door, "Why don't we invite Mr. Puckerman in before he gets caught in the hall, also skipping class," Finn spun on his heels to see Puck leaning on the doorway, arms crossed over his chest and a smirk on his face. _'What is _with_ this guy today?'_ "and you guys can play it for me."

"I don't think …" Finn began, only to be cut off by his friend.

"Awesome Mr. Schue, I'm in." Finn rolled his eyes as Puck entered the room. He really didn't know if he was comfortable handing his song over to Puck, but it didn't look as if he had any choice. Puck picked up a guitar as Mr. Schuester set up a stand to put the music on. Finn begrudgingly took a seat behind the drums. But once the song was over, Finn was actually pretty happy with his work. And Mr. Schue had stood there patting the piano on beat and smiling the whole time, so that was a good sign.

"That's pretty good dude," Puck turned to him when the song was over. "When'd you do that?"

"Last night," Finn's face glowed slightly with embarrassment.

"Last night?" Mr. Schuester asked. "That's really impressive Finn. I'm proud of you." He walked around to put a hand on his protégé's shoulder. Finn dropped his eyes and smiled, it made him feel really good to have Mr. Schue be proud of him. "But, I am not proud of you two for skipping class. I'm going to write you a pass right now for being late, but you're not missing another minute. Let's get moving." The boys looked at each other and rolled their eyes, both silently communicating to the other that they had almost made it. "Oh, Finn, will Rachel be joining us today?"

"Uh, no. She can't come back until her dads re-enroll her or something, and they aren't back from Cincinnati yet. They're supposed to be coming back today, so she should be here tomorrow." Mr. Schue only nodded and shooed the boys out the door. A few steps from the doorway to their math classroom, Finn caught Puck giving him a strange look. "What, dude?" Finn asked, not even trying to mask the annoyance in his voice. Puck didn't say anything, he just smirked and shook his head.


	9. Chapter 9

"Hey Mr. Berry. Need any help?" Finn jumped out of his truck immediately after turning off the ignition in Rachel's driveway.

"Well hello there Finn. That would be great, thank you." One of Rachel's fathers pointed to a pile of things beside his car, "Those two boxes and that big duffel bag are Rachel's, if you want to take them up to her room. I can get mine and Hiram's things."

"Sure, no problem."

"I'm kind of surprised to see you here so quickly after school. No football practice today?"

"Nah, Miss Pillsbury talked coach into giving us Tuesdays off since that's club day after school. She thinks we shouldn't automatically be disqualified from being in other clubs just because we play football half the year. It's supposed to look good on your college applications or something." Finn stopped gathering up Rachel's things for a moment, hoping he hadn't just given Rachel's dad a bad impression of him because he wasn't trying to pad his college applications with clubs. He really didn't want his girlfriend's father to think he didn't have plans for his future. "But I mean, glee club takes up a lot of my time, and I'm really devoted to it and everything, so it's hard for me to do anything else." He subconsciously held his breath for a moment, awaiting Mr. Berry's response.

"Oh, you don't have to explain yourself to me son. Look who I've raised for the last 16 years," Rachel's father laughed and Finn breathed a sigh of relief. Leroy Berry continued pulling luggage from his car, so Finn decided he should just grab Rachel's stuff and go inside. "Hiram's inside fixing a snack, if you want anything," Leroy called over his shoulder. "We have a late dinner with some friends tonight and we had lunch with an old college buddy of mine just before we left Cincinnati, so I think he's making a fruit tray or something to hold us over."

"Sounds great Mr. Berry, thanks a lot." Finn shifted Rachel's things in his arms in order to open the front door. He hoped to get to Rachel as quickly as possible, but he had barely shut the door when Rachel's other dad stuck his head out of the kitchen.

"Hey hon, do you want … Oh, Finn, sorry, I thought you were my husband. I didn't know you were here. Want a snack?" Hiram responded in nearly the same manner as Leroy had, not at all upset to have Finn dropping in unannounced, just surprised. He was really glad he had put in the effort to be friendly with her fathers, not that it had been hard. They were really cool guys.

"Umm, that sounds great Mr. Berry, but do you mind if I go see Rachel first? I, um, I know how she hates missing school and feeling like she's behind, so I brought her homework for her." It wasn't a lie; there was at least one glee club member in each of Rachel's classes, so Finn had gotten her missing notes and assignments from their friends. "Is she in the living room?"

"Oh, of course, of course. You didn't come to hang out with this old man," Hiram laughed. "But no, I guess she's still up in her room. I don't even know if she realizes we're home. I think I heard music coming from her room when I came in." Now that he was listening for it, Finn thought he heard something as well. "In fact, she never even responded to Leroy's text as we were leaving Cincinnati, so I don't know if she actually got it, or if she even had any idea when to expect us." Mr. Berry didn't seem worried about not having heard from his daughter that day, they obviously trusted her implicitly, but the fact that she hadn't responded to her dads' text, added to the fact that she hadn't contacted him all day, had Finn very worried.

"Ok, well I'll just get this stuff up to her room and let her know you're home and excited to see her." Finn was even more anxious to get upstairs and find his girlfriend.

"You know where it is!" Hiram replied lightheartedly, having returned to the kitchen to work on his snack.

~.~.~.~.~.~

Rachel didn't hear her father's hybrid car pull into the driveway, but she thought she heard the sound of car doors shutting. When she heard the front door open and the sound of her dad banging around in the kitchen, she turned up the volume on "The Way We Were." She was at the part where Katie calls Hubbell and tells him that even though they broke up, he's her best friend and she needs a best friend. She wanted to badly to call Finn. He really was her best friend, often her only friend. But for once in her life, she wished she could be Katie. She never thought "The Way We Were" would be easier or simpler than her own life, but at least Katie could call Hubbell up and he would come be her best friend. Rachel didn't think she could look at Finn right now, she honestly didn't know how she would survive school the next day. Everything was ruined. If she had stuck to her plan, she would be in Cincinnati, she wouldn't have given her virginity to someone who took off while she was sleeping, and, obviously, she and Finn wouldn't have lasted, but she would have been able to tell herself it happened naturally as a result of the distance. That would have been much easier than this.

She knew her fathers would make their way up eventually, but she hoped they would take their time unloading the car. She knew that once she saw them, she wouldn't be able to control herself. She would lose control, and she would tell them everything. That's the way it always went. And once she spilled it, she could only imagine how disappointed they would be. She had set aside her dream, their dream, for some boy who only wanted to have sex with her then dump her. Then there was the sex itself. Yes, her fathers had put her on birth control, they were realistic and concerned parents, but they had always impressed upon her the significance of sex and the importance of love and making it special. How would they feel when they found out she had given all that up to someone who didn't even care? She heard footsteps on the stairs, so she turned her back to the door and buried herself deeper in the blankets. Maybe if they thought she was asleep they would leave her alone a bit longer.

~.~.~.~.~.~

When he reached the first landing, Finn knew that Rachel's father had been right about hearing something from her room, but it wasn't music. He heard distinct voices with gaps and pauses. She was watching television. That was a bit odd though, since she usually didn't have the tv that loud. When he got to her room, he tapped the door lightly with his shoe. He didn't have a free hand thanks to all of her stuff. He waited for what seemed like forever, and probably actually was a full minute, but heard nothing. Finally he sighed and set her boxes gently on the floor. When he opened the door and peeked into the room, he saw a ball under the covers and Rachel's dark waves splayed across the pillows.

Thinking she must have been asleep, which was surprising considering she didn't really do anything that day, he walked quietly to the dresser to lower the volume on the television. He had turned it down about five notches before he froze with his finger on the button. _'Oh crap,'_ he thought when he realized what movie she was watching. His girl loved Barbra more than just about anything in the world, but "The Way We Were" wasn't one of her regulars. That one was reserved for moping, like when he heard the song playing the past Sunday night when he called to tell her good night before they both had to go to bed to get ready to go to the train station the next morning.

Rachel heard the knocking at her door, but she ignored it hoping her dad would go away. Unfortunately, that didn't work. The door opened and she heard him cross to the dresser and turn the volume down on the television. Knowing that he must have his back to her, she started to pull the covers down to peek and see which dad had come in. If it was Leroy, he would just turn the television down to let her sleep better then leave, giving her time to rest. But if it was Hiram, he would turn the television down so that he could talk to his little girl. Before she could turn to see who it was, she heard the volume level even out. Not wanting to give herself away in case it was Leroy and she had a chance of remaining where she was undisturbed, she pulled the blankets back up hastily and closed her eyes, burying her face in the pillow.

When Finn turned toward the bed, satisfied that the television volume was at a more bearable level, he noticed something he hadn't seen before. Barely sticking out above the blankets tucked around Rachel's neck was the blue and white striped collar of his shirt. Did that mean she hadn't gotten dressed? Had she even gotten out of bed at all that day? Instinctively, he turned to look at the water glass he had brought her. Empty. _'Maybe she just woke up thirsty,'_ he tried to convince himself. It had a very slim chance of working, and that went straight out the window when he saw her shoulders shaking and heard quiet whimpers coming from the bed. He ran to the side of the bed she was facing and brushed the blankets away from her face. "Rach, hey, baby, what's wrong?" He ran his fingertips down her cheek, following the trail her tears had marked out.

Rachel bolted upright in her bed when she realized that the man in her room was not either of her fathers, but the same person who had left her in her room alone almost 24 hours before. "What are you doing here? Go! Get out now!" She screamed at him and turned her face away, pointing at the door. How could he even have the nerve to show his face in the Berry house? She wondered if her fathers had seen him. If they had, they had probably treated him wonderfully as always. They had fallen under the Finn Hudson spell and they didn't yet know what he had done to their little girl. Finn moved around to the other side of the bed, trying to get into her line of sight. She noticed, although she tried not to, that he looked confused, as always, and maybe even hurt.

"Rach," he stammered, clearly bewildered, "I, I don't understand. Why are you crying? What happened baby?" He reached out to rub her shoulders with his strong hands, but she jerked away from his touch. He winced as if she had slapped him.

"I can't believe you actually have the nerve to show up here! You know, my dads will be here soon, if they're not already. You might want to get going." She was trying anything to get rid of him. So sure, her dads didn't have any problem with him, yet. But she knew exactly how to get him on their bad sides, and if that's what it took to get him out of her room, she would be on the phone in a second.

"Yeah Rach, I saw them. Hiram's making a snack. I brought some of your stuff up here for Leroy," he gestured toward the door, where her belongings were waiting just outside. He was lost. And he was used to being lost. But not with Rachel. He never felt lost with her, she always understood everything he said, and somehow, she was able to make him understand anything she said. Why was this different?

"And you dared to show your face to them?" she was nearly screaming, speaking as loudly and as hoarsely as she could without actually screaming so that her voice wouldn't carry downstairs. Yes, she wanted him gone. And yes, she thought she would be ok if her dads found out everything and threatened to relieve him of a certain body part. But she didn't want to deal with the confrontation in her own room. She wanted to be able to stay as far away as possible.

"Rach, babe, I'm sorry, I know I'm not the smartest guy in the world, and I know I get confused a lot, but right now I'm really confused. Like, REALLY confused. Can you please explain to me what has changed from yesterday afternoon, when I held you until you fell asleep and I got to lay here and breathe in your smell and watch your eyes flutter as you dreamed?" Finn was trying really hard not to raise his voice. He didn't want to yell at her, he didn't want to be mad at her. He didn't think she had done anything wrong, he was just so confused that it was starting to frustrate him.

"What's changed? WHAT HAS CHANGED?" Rachel wasn't trying as hard. "What changed is you tricked me. You made me believe that you loved me, probably just so I would stay here, with my TALENT, and help New Directions win something this year. But you don't care about me," If she had looked at Finn she would have seen that his jaw had dropped and his eyes were welling with tears. "You care about what I can do for you! I can sing and help you win competitions and maybe even earn scholarships, and on top of that, I can give you sex! So you got what you wanted; I stay here as a part of New Directions and you get laid, and then when it's over, you just take off. You don't wake me, you don't call, you don't do anything except leave me a glass of water, because you KNOW I am going to be upset. You just leave. Did you really think that would work Finn? Did you really think you would get away with that and I would just be here waiting for you when you decided to grace me with your presence again? I'm RACHEL BERRY. I'm better than that!" What had started as angry pseudo-yelling had dissolved into sobbing and Rachel had her face buried in her hands, resting on her knees, because she couldn't bear to look at him.

When Rachel had first started verbally attacking him, Finn had raised his hands in a defensive stance and taken a step backward. He still wasn't exactly sure what she was upset about, but whatever it was, it was really bad, and somehow he had landed smack in the middle of it. But as she went on, it began to dawn on him. And when she choked through her sobs that there was something wrong with him leaving her a glass of water, he involuntarily looked over to the nightstand where he had left the water and the note that he had somehow thought would make her feel a little bit better about waking up alone. That's when it dawned on him. No sooner had she finished her tirade and buried her face in her hands than he grabbed the arm closest to him and was kissing her hand, her wrist, her elbow, anything he could get to. "Oh Rach," he was actually laughing. "Oh babe, ok, this is going to be ok."

She wrenched her arm from his grasp and spun on the bed so that her back was once again to him. "Finn Christopher Hudson, what do you think you're doing?" She spat over her shoulder, "You have no right to touch me. Ever. Again."

He backed away from the bed and was scanning the room frantically. "Rach, honey, this is going to be ok. It's fine, really. Just give me … a … second … here! Right here!" Finn almost fell over his feet when he saw the corner of a piece of paper bearing the top of a pink sparkly "R" peeking out from under the bed. He fell to his knees and grabbed the note, holding it up triumphantly, as if he had just won an Olympic gold medal. Rachel couldn't help herself, her curiosity forced her to look over her shoulder to see what Finn was babbling about. She wanted him gone, but that wasn't going to happen until he shut up about whatever it was he was going on about.

"Look Finn, I don't know what you're going on about, and to be honest, I don't really care. Just take it and get out."

"Oh baby, I know," he reached out to smooth her hair down her back. "I know. I get it, I really do. I just need you to do one thing for me. Please Rach, just one thing, ok?" She still hadn't turned to look at him, but he couldn't give up. "Just read it, please?" He reached around her to hold the note gently under her nose so that she could read her name on the outside. She snatched the note from his hand and slammed it onto her lap, but he took some hope from the fact that she didn't crinkle it up and toss it across the room.

"What is this?" she asked shortly.

"Please, Rach, I just need you to read it, ok? If you have ever loved me for a second, I need you to read it." Finn knew that challenging her love for him was an almost sure-fire way to get her to do what he wanted. Even though right now she may be questioning his love for her, which was unwavering, by the way, she would never have anyone question her love for him. She was the kind of girl who put her all into things, and she was proud of that.

"And how do I know that you didn't write it, whatever it is," she waved the note in the air, "just to calm me down? To trick me again?" Although the tears had mostly stopped flowing and her voice had evened out some, he could still see her shoulders tremble occasionally with silent sobs.

"Baby, think about what you're saying. I haven't had any opportunity to write it since I got here," the truth seemed to register in her mind because she dropped her hand back to her lap and toyed with the corner of the note, "and do you really think I have a pink sparkly pen at my house?" He laughed nervously at his joke, hoping to relieve a bit of the tension in the room.

"Fine. I'll read it, then you're gone." She looked over her shoulder at him, a stony expression on her face.

"If that's what you want baby. Anything you want," he wanted to touch her, to run his hands down her back and caress her arms and pull her close to him, but he knew he couldn't. She wouldn't let him. He settled for twirling an errant strand of hair between his fingers, so gently that she couldn't even feel it. He held his breath as he watched her open the letter and he sat on the bed behind her to read over her shoulder, moving as slowly and deliberately as possible so as not to disturb her. As she read, her shoulders began to relax and her breath evened out. When she had read what he guessed were the first few sentences, the part where he told her how amazing it felt to wake up next to her, she lay the note on her lap for a minute and blinked hard, biting her bottom lip. _'This is a good sign, right?" _he said to himself. She curled her legs to the side and repositioned herself so that she was sitting maybe an inch closer to him as she picked up the note and continued reading.

"Ah! I do not snore!" She glared at him, but the look was softer than any she had given him since he entered the room.

"You do," he deadpanned. "But I love it." He lowered his voice almost to a whisper and tried to smile. She rolled her eyes, but while she was doing so, she turned her body so that they were facing the same direction instead of her facing away from him. When she was settled next to him with her legs dangling off the bed, her toes brushing the carpet, she lowered her eyes to read again.

"Not as wrong as it felt to wake up and find no trace of you," she murmured after a few moments, so low that he could barely hear her. He lowered his eyes in guilt. He knew she was right; as awful as it felt for him to have to sit across the room and watch her sleep, knowing he had to leave, he couldn't imagine what it would be like to wake up, knowing she had been there when he fell asleep, and find that she was long gone.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, not even expecting her to hear him, but he felt her hand lightly brush his thigh. Lifting his face to sneak a peek at her, he saw that tears were escaping her eyes, slowly this time, not running and cutting a path down her cheeks. One hand was still holding his note on her lap, but the other was resting over her mouth.

"Your only one?" the words slipped through her fingers and she looked up at him pleadingly. He dropped to his knees in front of her, his torso resting against the bed between her calves and his arms wrapped around her waist.

"One and only," he dropped his face into her lap as he spoke and he could feel her fingers working into his hair.

"I'm so sorry." He felt her collapse on top of him, speaking into his spine and running her hands all over his body. "Oh Finn, I'm so sorry. I don't know how I could have doubted you like that. I'm sorry sweetie, please forgive me." He pulled away from her and cupped her face in his hands, pulling her to him.

"No baby, please don't apologize. Please stop Rach," he spoke through her pleas. He rested his forehead against hers. "You were right. I shouldn't have left like that. It was stupid. You just looked … and I … I'm sorry baby." She grabbed his arms and tugged at them, pulling him up onto the bed next to her. Instead of sitting next to her, he laid on his side, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her with him so they were lying on her bed face-to-face. He brought one hand to her face and played absent-mindedly with her hair. "Ok beautiful, there are two things you need to know right now," Rachel's eyes grew wide and she nodded. "First, you are, and will always be, my only one. I love you more than anything, and I know I messed up by leaving. I didn't want to wake you up because you looked so beautiful, and peaceful, and … happy. But I should have known it would have hurt you to wake up alone and that was my mistake. I can't tell you how horrible I feel that you had to be here, alone, for almost 24 hours thinking for even one second of that time that I didn't love you, because you have to understand that is 100% not true. And the next time, whenever you want that to be, cause you have to know, I want you like, any time," she giggled as his face glowed with his admission, "but whenever you want me again, I won't mess it up. I'll be here for you all the way." Rachel nodded and hooked one arm under his, resting her hand on the back of his shoulder as she leaned into him for a sweet, soft kiss. He cradled her head in his hand and returned her kiss briefly before pulling away. "The second thing you need to know," he spoke only inches from her lips, the tips of their noses brushing together, "is that your dads are downstairs waiting for us. I was supposed to bring your stuff up here and give you your homework, then we were supposed to go have a snack with them."

"Oh!" Rachel shot up quickly, resting a hand on Finn's thigh as he rolled over onto his back and watched her go into panic mode – the cute, somewhat irrational kind, not the my-boyfriend-doesn't-love-me –because-he-had-sex-with-me-then-took-off kind. "Ok, umm, ok, so you go bring my stuff in, take some of the stuff out of the boxes and lay it around so it looks like we have been unpacking. And put the schoolwork on the desk! I'm going to change quickly then we'll go meet up with them." She squeezed his leg, a total Rachel-move that showed him they would be ok, even if it took weeks of groveling and proving how much he loved her to make up for his stupid mistake. No matter what, he would make sure she knew how much he loved her.

Finn went into the hall to pick up Rachel's things. He sat the boxes beside her bed and placed the duffel bag just inside her closet, which it appeared she had slipped into to put on something more appropriate than just his shirt. He was pulling her homework and their friends' notes from his backpack when she emerged from the closet wearing a pair of workout shorts and a tank top and pulling her hair into a messy ponytail. He thought she looked pretty incredible. He smiled at her and rose from his seat at her desk to wrap an arm around her waist and kiss her lovingly on the lips. "Hey, since I've got my backpack here anyway, you can just toss me my shirt and I'll shove it in here."

She looked up at him mischievously. "I don't know what you're talking about Finn," she ran her fingers lightly down his arms, "I just put _my_ shirt away in my closet."

"But …" Finn started to protest, to remind her that she had been wearing his shirt, not her own, but she cut him off with a kiss. "Oh, right," he smiled against her lips when she pulled away slightly.

"Come on, let's go!" Rachel almost skipped out of the room, pulling Finn along behind her, unable to wipe the smile from his face. "You're home!" she yelled as they reached the landing halfway down the stairs. He let her hand go as he watched her run toward her fathers, one emerging from the kitchen and the other from the living room to see their little girl. Finn pushed his hands into his pockets and watched his girlfriend interacting with her fathers. He couldn't quite describe how he felt watching her laughing and joking with them, especially after the way he had found her only 10 minutes before.

"Come on Finn," Leroy Berry called, breaking the younger man from his reverie, "I know you can come enjoy a snack. You're like me, you can always eat." Rachel's father laughed and Finn smiled at him, continuing down the stairs.

"Yeah sweetie, I know you must be hungry after a long day at school then helping me finish up cleaning my room so I could put all my stuff back away," Rachel winked at him over her shoulder as her fathers walked a few steps ahead of her. He smiled back at his amazing girlfriend and almost tripped down the stairs, trying to get to her fast enough. He draped one arm lazily over her shoulders and walked with her into her kitchen.


	10. Chapter 10

Rachel sat in the middle of Finn's truck fidgeting with the seatbelt, picking at a loose thread on the strap across her waist. Finn leaned over to kiss the top of her head and laid his hand in her lap on top of hers. "Babe, I don't understand why you're so nervous. It's a party, it will be fun. That's what parties are for!"

"I know, but I've never actually been to a party before. Never been invited. I wasn't _really _invited to this one." Finn sighed as he watched his girlfriend's face fall. He hated that other people made her feel so badly about herself. He thought she was perfect, and while he knew that not everyone would see that, they could at least try to be a little nicer. At the same time, he didn't think the others really thought as poorly of her as she thought they did. They weren't exactly falling all over themselves to hang out with her or anything, but when he told Puck that he planned to invite Rachel he was fine with it. And when Finn later texted him to say that they would both be coming to the party, Puck texted back "kool. will tell Q and the girls."

"Ok. Before I go on, I want you to know that I'm not trying to pressure you or anything. If you really don't want to go, we'll go back to your house right now, or mine, mom would love to see you. But either way, this is something you need to hear."

"We?" she looked up at him through her lashes with those chocolate eyes he loved so much.

"Well yeah 'we.' If you don't go I'm not going! There's no way I'm leaving my girl, not making that mistake again!" He pulled her a little closer to him as he spoke.

"Well, you know, we both have to go back to our own homes and go to bed eventually. We can't just stay together like, all the time." She rested her head on his shoulder and moved her picking from his seatbelt to the hem of his shirt.

"Hmm. We'll see." Finn looked at the ceiling of his truck, pretending to avoid eye contact with her so she couldn't argue with him. When she giggled quietly, signaling that she wouldn't fight him on that idea, he continued with his original purpose. "But anyway sweetie, what I was trying to say is you _were_ invited. _We _were invited. Puck knew from the beginning that I was planning on bringing you, if you would come. And when I texted to let him know we were on our way, and I made it a point to include you, he said it was cool. He even said he would let the girls know to expect you." Rachel looked at him, somewhat hopefully. He knew she wanted to believe him, it was just hard for her. "Rach, I know you think no one likes you, but that's not true. They are all really starting to warm up to you, to get a tiny peek at what I've already seen. And they may not be your best friends or anything, but you can't expect to become friends if you won't go talk to them. Even I have to admit you can be a little much sometimes in glee, but if they could see how amazing you are when you're not trying to push us all into being better, which is also pretty amazing by the way, they'd love you, just like me." She had lowered her head so that she was staring into her lap and he pushed her hair back to see her face. "Well, not _just_ like me," he smirked and he watched her face grow red.

"You really think I'll have fun?"

"I guarantee it. And you know why I can do that?" She looked at him expectantly. "Because the second you're not having fun, you're gonna look at me with those beautiful brown eyes and take me by the hand and we'll leave and I'll take you wherever you wanna go. And I know we'll have fun when it's just the two of us." His voice was soft and sweet, not at all mischievous or teasing.

Rachel took a deep breath and smoothed her hands over her pleated skirt. "Ok. Let's go." Finn pulled her face to his and kissed her deeply on the mouth before opening his door and sliding out. He waited for her to unlatch her seatbelt and slide across the truck to him. When she turned to face him and placed her hands on his shoulders, waiting for him to lift her out of the truck, he pulled her into his chest by her hips and worked his body between her legs.

"You are beautiful," he kissed her cheek, "and talented," he kissed the other cheek, "and good-hearted," he kissed the tip of her nose. "And anyone who can't appreciate that isn't good enough for us." He kissed her long and slow on the mouth, pushing his tongue gently between her lips and rolling it over hers. Feeling himself start to get more excited than he should in a public place, he lifted her out of the truck and lowered her to the ground then pulled his mouth from hers. "Although, if you're still uncertain, I suppose we could go back home," he squinted down at her with a grin.

"Come on Finn. Let's go enjoy my first high school party. And if you're a _really_ good boyfriend, we'll leave early, before my dads get home from their dinner." She walked away from him, and for a few seconds, it was hard for him to think with her words swirling around in his brain and her skirt bouncing in front of him. Finally, the sounds of the party brought him back to earth and he ran to catch up with her, walking behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. He didn't want anyone else noticing the way that skirt bounced!

The young couple walked across the field at the back of the Rutherfords' property toward the bonfire that was already well under way. "Hey dude! Glad to see you made it!" Mike clapped him on the back as he ran by, pushing Artie on the back two wheels of his chair. Artie turned to wave, and Tina ran by about five steps behind the boys.

"Hey Rachel!" the girl yelled on her way to catch up to the boys. Finn squeezed Rachel a little tighter when Tina spoke to her. He hoped that it would encourage her a little bit. It seemed to be working, because when he peered down, even though he could only see the side of her face, she seemed to be smiling.

"Is that Noah's band?"

Finn stopped walking for a moment to listen. It certainly sounded like live music and not a stereo system. "Yeah, I guess so." They continued toward the party, following the route that Mike, Tina, and Artie had taken. "Oh look, there's Mercedes too. Come on, let's go say hey."

"And Quinn," Rachel tensed a little as she saw Quinn sitting in a lawn chair next to where Mercedes and Tina stood talking. Finn came out from behind her and took her hand.

"Don't worry about Quinn. It's fine." He hadn't even seen Quinn until Rachel pointed her out, but sure enough, there was a sleek blonde ponytail hovering over the top of a folding chair. "And remember, the second you are uncomfortable, we're out." He leaned down into her ear as he spoke, trying to make it as intimate as possible. Rachel nodded and they continued walking. "Hey guys!" Finn greeted his friends loudly and Rachel waved shyly. Artie waved back to the couple, and Mike grabbed Finn's hand and pulled him into a half-hug, both boys patting the other on the back.

"Cute skirt!" Mercedes motioned at Rachel. "Even cuter since there isn't an animal above it!" Mercedes laughed, but it was good-natured, not malicious.

"Um, thanks." Rachel subconsciously smoothed her hands down her skirt.

"Oh, Rachel, I've never ridden on a train before? What was that like?" Tina was suddenly very interested in talking to Rachel about rail travel.

"Well," Rachel described her short trip to Tina in as much detail as she could manage, considering she had slept through most of it and the rest was spent in great emotional turmoil. Finn was only half-interested in his conversation about Halo with Mike and Artie. He was busy watching his girlfriend have a pleasant conversation with their classmates. Mercedes and Tina seemed truly interested in what Rachel was saying, and though Quinn wasn't exactly participating in the conversation, she wasn't doing anything to stop it either, so Finn gave her credit for that.

"Hey guys!" the party host ran up to the group carrying as many red plastic cups in his hands as he could manage.

"Hey Matt. Great party," Finn said to his friend and the others nodded in agreement.

"Thanks. Alright, drinks are here! Sorry Finn, didn't know you and Rachel were here. I'll go grab a couple more. But don't go expecting me to serve you all night! I got good hospitality and all, but I ain't no damn waiter." All the guys laughed at Matt's comment as he handed beers to Artie and Mike.

"I'm good man, nothing for me, but thanks anyway," Finn declined Matt's offer to go get him a drink. "You know, driving and everything."

"That's cool, good call man. You got precious cargo anyway, I know you don't want to take any chances with that in your care." Matt smiled at his buddy and jerked an elbow toward Rachel. Finn was glad at least one of his friends could be somewhat mature about relationships and not just act like girlfriends were toys. He knew Puck cared about Quinn, but he would never admit it or do anything to risk being called "respectful." Finn could tell from the look on Rachel's face that she had heard Matt's comment. She was trying not to look at them, but there was a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth and her face was a little red. Finn gave her a wink to let her know that he agreed with Matt's observation 100%. "Ladies," Matt turned to the girls and held out the remaining cups, pop mixed with something.

"Um, actually Matt, I'm sorry I forgot to tell you earlier, I'm not drinking. Gotta look out for Pucky-Puck up there." Quinn rolled her eyes and nodded her head toward the stage. "Maybe Rachel wants it, though." Without moving her head, Quinn lifted her eyes cautiously toward the other girl.

Finn was watching the exchange as discreetly as possible. He wanted to keep an eye on Rachel, but he wanted to give her a little distance too. He knew she was worried that people were only nice to her because of him, so he didn't want her to feel like he was playing big brother watching over her shoulder. (Besides, what he's thinking about doing to her later, totally inappropriate to have the words Rachel and brother in the same sentence.) Mercedes and Tina encouraged Rachel to take the drink, ensuring her that it didn't taste too bad and she would get used to it after a couple sips.

"It's not very strong, I promise," Matt said, holding the cup out to Rachel. "I know how to make pretty good girl drinks; I don't want anything bad to happen to any of you ladies." Finn smiled to himself and thanked Matt in his mind. Apparently he wouldn't have to worry about being big brother, it looked like Matt might take that role for him. Hesitating, Rachel looked at Finn almost as if she was asking permission. He smiled and nodded at her. He didn't want her to get so drunk she would regret it later, but he wanted her to be able to loosen up and have some fun. She thanked Matt and took the drink, taking a small sip. Finn had to stifle a laugh at the expression on her face when the liquid hit her tongue.

The glee club members stood around for a few more minutes, talking about anything and everything, until the music stopped and Puck and the other guys jumped down off the stage. "Come on guys, let's go talk to the Puck-man," Matt slapped Finn's and Mike's shoulders and Mike grabbed the handlebars of Artie's wheelchair.

"Umm," Finn began. He wasn't really comfortable leaving Rachel, but before he could continue, he felt a small hand slip into his. He looked down at Rachel smiling up at him and she squeezed his hand and nodded. "You sure baby?"

"Yeah, go ahead. I don't want to hold you back. Besides, I'm doing ok here with Tina and Mercedes." Finn squeezed back and leaned down to kiss her. "Love you," she whispered against his lips.

"Love you back," he smiled and kissed her one more time then squeezed her hand and walked away to join his friends.

~.~.~.~.~.~

To save her life, Rachel couldn't quite figure out exactly why she had agreed to come to this party. She thought it was probably because even though she told him she didn't mind, Finn refused to go without her, especially since her dads were at dinner for the evening and he didn't want to leave her home alone. She would have felt awful if he missed out on hanging out with his friends because of her. But now that they were in his truck parked on the edge of Matt Rutherford's property surrounded by other teenagers' cars and trucks, she was having major second thoughts. She was strongly considering telling Finn to just take her back home when he started telling her how much he loved her and that everyone else should too, or they weren't good enough for them. Not that they wouldn't be good enough for her, but for them. She liked that he talked about them together, as a unit. Encouraged by his attitude and the knowledge that the others knew she was coming and were ok with it, she worked up the courage to give the party a chance.

Walking toward the party, a huge group of kids with a bonfire on one end and a stage for Puck's band on the other, Rachel got a warm feeling inside when Mike, Artie, and Tina ran by and Tina made it a point to say hi to Rachel, not just Finn. She didn't want Finn to see how happy this made her, she felt a little immature and silly about it, but when he squeezed his arms around her middle she knew she couldn't hide it from him.

Trying to take the attention off of herself (that was a first!) Rachel asked about the music. Although she was really just looking for something to say, she was actually quite impressed with Puck's band. The music was not really her taste, a twangy country/rock mix, but they did sound good. When they got into the crowd and met up with some of the other glee club members, Rachel felt the butterflies creep back into her stomach. Finn was completely in his element, surrounded by his friends, but she felt lost. However, much to Rachel's surprise, Mercedes complimented her outfit and Tina struck up a friendly conversation right away. She could feel Finn's eyes on her as she talked to the other girls. She knew he was worried about her, and she hoped she was making him proud by going out of her comfort zone a little.

Seemingly out of nowhere, Matt appeared with several drinks in his hands. He passed beers to the guys and offered to go get one for Finn. Her interest piqued when the alcohol arrived, and she started paying a little less attention to what the girls were saying and a little more attention to Finn. "I'm good man, nothing for me, but thanks anyway. You know, driving and everything." Rachel was proud of her boyfriend for being responsible, and she made a mental note that the next time they went to a party (there would be a next time, right?) she would drive him in her car. It only seemed fair.

"That's cool, good call man. You got precious cargo anyway, I know you don't want to take any chances with that in your care." Rachel saw Finn's eyes light up as Matt gestured toward her. She had always liked Matt and she was really glad that Finn had one friend who was at least a little mature and respectful. Puck wasn't exactly a bad guy, and Rachel had had an up-and-down friendship with him for a while now, but he certainly didn't treat girls anything like the way Finn did.

When Matt tried to give Quinn the drink he had brought for her, she declined and suggested he give it to Rachel. Unsure at first, she let Mercedes and Tina convince her that the drink wouldn't taste horrible, and Matt promised that he wouldn't make a really strong drink for a girl. Still not quite sure, she looked to Finn for guidance. He smiled and nodded, encouraging her to go ahead. As long as she knew he was there for her, she really wasn't worried about anything. She didn't plan on getting drunk, but knowing that he would be there in case she needed him made her feel a lot more comfortable. She tried to keep an eye on him as she took her first drink, but whatever was mixed with the pop burned her throat going down and she couldn't help but squeeze her eyes tight and make a face. When she opened her eyes she saw Finn grinning at her, obviously trying not to laugh.

When the music stopped and she could see the band members moving off the stage, Matt started nudging the guys toward the stage to go talk to Puck. She could tell that Finn was apprehensive about leaving her alone, but she was actually kind of starting to enjoy herself with the girls. She slipped her hand into his and gave it a little squeeze, nodding at him to go with his friends. She didn't want to keep him from having fun at his friend's party. He shouldn't have to babysit her all night. However, once he was gone and Mercedes and Tina started talking to some girl from their science class, Rachel started to feel more out of place. "Hey Rachel," the voice coming from behind her was timid. She turned to see Quinn looking up at her from her lawn chair, resting her hand on the arm of a newly vacated chair beside her. "Can we talk?" Quinn lightly shook the chair she was holding, signaling for Rachel to sit down.

Rachel wasn't sure how to respond. Nothing good had ever come out of a conversation with Quinn. The few civil conversations they'd ever had pretty much all resulted in Rachel trying to be nice to Quinn and Quinn telling her that she never would have been that nice. Still, the alternatives were ignoring her and standing there with no one to talk to or running to Finn, tail between her legs, begging to go home. Neither of those options appealed to her pride, so she decided to sit. She put her drink on the ground under her chair; she wasn't really planning on drinking much more of it anyway. "Umm Rachel," Quinn began as soon as Rachel was settled in the chair, "I just wanted to say I'm sorry about the other night. I was really out of line talking to you like that. It just really bothered me seeing Finn hurting like that. I think it's because it brings back memories of how I hurt him and how awful I was, and it makes me feel really bad. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to take Finn away from you. Shockingly," she laughed, "my relationship with Puck is actually going quite well. But either way, I shouldn't have said the things I said. I was angry because of what Finn was going through, again, and I was also probably a little bit jealous that you were getting out of Lima. Finn really loves you, and it seems like you've been good for him, and I'm glad you're going to be around a while longer. And that's not just because your crazy voice is almost guaranteed to get us to nationals this year." Quinn tried to laugh at her last statement, wanting to lighten the mood a bit.

"Look Quinn, you don't need to apologize to me. Everything you said to me in that bathroom was true and I needed to hear it." Quinn looked at her with wide eyes, shocked to hear those words coming from Rachel Berry's mouth. "Well, almost all of it was true. I _do_ know how amazing Finn is. I always have. What I didn't know was how upset he was about me leaving, partly because I tried not to see it but mostly because he tried really hard to keep me from knowing. But, that's just part of what makes him so amazing. But maybe, in the future when you have something to say to me, you can pull me aside and talk to me about it rather than ambushing me in the ladies' room." Rachel laughed.

Quinn lowered her eyes, ashamed of her behavior. "Deal," she nodded and dramatically stuck out her hand for Rachel to shake. Rachel took her hand and both girls giggled. "Rachel?" Rachel tore her eyes from where Finn was standing, laughing with the other guys, to look back at Quinn. "If you want to go over there with him, I understand, but I was kind of hoping to talk to you about something else. I'm not going to say anything mean, I promise." Rachel looked at Quinn with large eyes. There was something off about the girl, something sad in her eyes and her voice, and while they had never really been friends, Rachel couldn't abandon her in that state.

"Of course. The boys seem to be entertaining themselves quite well anyway." Both girls looked to where their boyfriends stood with the rest of the band and Mike, Matt, and Artie. Mike and Matt seemed to be having some sort of dance-off while Artie beat-boxed and the others stood around cheering them on. "What's on your mind?" Rachel finally brought the girls back to the matter at hand.

"So, Puck told me that Shelby is the one who brought you home from the train station yesterday." Rachel looked at Quinn, confused. "Finn told him. Please don't be mad at him, Puck just really wants to be friends with him again and he's trying really hard, which includes talking about real stuff now and not just whatever stupid stuff they used to talk about." Rachel nodded. She understood, and she didn't mind that Finn talked to Puck about it. "But since you spent like, an hour with her alone in the car, I was just wondering, did she happen to say anything about Beth?" Rachel had never seen that look on Quinn's face before. Her eyes were pleading with Rachel for even one scrap of information. It was the first time Rachel had realized how hard it must have been on Quinn to give Beth up. Rachel also realized that Quinn did it because she knew it was the right thing for the baby, so no matter how much it hurt, it was the best thing to do.

Rachel turned to the side to dig in her across-the-body purse. She passed two pieces of paper resembling postcards across the dark to Quinn. "I think maybe you should have these," Quinn took the cards from Rachel and pulled them close to her nose and squinted at them. "Here," Rachel passed her cell phone as well, activating the flashlight application. She saw tears glistening in Quinn's eyes as she looked at the pictures of the four-month-old little girl.

Quinn sniffled and swiped her hand across her eyes trying to compose herself. She half-heartedly passed the photos back toward Rachel, "She gave these to you, I shouldn't take them." Rachel shook her head adamantly.

"No. She gave them to me and said she thought I might want some pictures of my baby sister. But she's not really my baby sister. Shelby and I both agree that neither of us consider me to be her daughter. I think deep down inside she wanted you to have them, and I know I do." Unable to stop herself, Quinn leaned across the distance between the girls' chairs and wrapped her arms around Rachel's neck.

"Thank you," she whispered into Rachel's ear, her voice quivering slightly. Looking over Quinn's shoulder past the fire, she saw that Finn had stopped participating in the silliness taking place among the other guys and was staring at her with a very confused expression on his face. She gave him a small smile and rubbed Quinn's back sympathetically. As the band climbed back onto the stage and Finn, Mike, and Artie began to make their way noisily back to the girls, Quinn pulled away from Rachel and quickly but carefully put the pictures into her own purse then swiped her hand across her eyes one more time and dabbed at her eyes to make sure she didn't have mascara all over her face.

~.~.~.~.~.~

"Hey, here comes your boy," Quinn told Rachel, obviously trying to erase the emotional moment that had just taken place. "Go on," she made a motion with her hands as if to shoo Rachel away. Without saying anything, Rachel smiled at Quinn then jumped out of her chair and ran toward Finn.

"I love you," Rachel smiled up at Finn when she reached him, wrapping her arms around his waist. Her conversation with Quinn brought back everything she and Finn had gone through and reminded her how lucky she was to be with him.

"I love you back," he smiled at her and leaned down to kiss her nose. "At least, I think I do," he tilted his head and squinted his eyes at her. "But I'm not 100% sure if you're my real girlfriend or just an alien who's taken over her body. Quick! Name every Barbra movie ever made, in alphabetical order!"

Rachel slapped him lightly on the chest, his arms still wrapped around her waist and holding her to him. "Stop it. Quinn and I were just talking. We're big girls, we can handle it." He continued to look at her skeptically.

"Are you sure everything's ok? I mean, it looked kind of emotional over here."

"Everything's great, I promise." She stood on her tip toes to kiss him again. "Oh, the band's starting again. I'm actually kind of interested to see Noah and his friends play." She turned inside the ring formed by his arms so that her back was pressed against his chest and rested her hands on top of his. The band members walked around the stage, warming up and making adjustments to different pieces of equipment. "Hey, who's the blond guy?"

"Oh, that's Sam. He moved here from Tennessee over the summer."

"Hmm. Does he go to McKinley?"

"No, but he's about to. When his family first got here they rented a house on the other side of town, but apparently they just bought a house and he's transferring to McKinley next week. Hey," he leaned down to whisper hoarsely in her ear, "I don't need to be jealous of this Sam kid do I? Remember, the deal was no one else gets to love you the way I do," he closed his mouth around the rim of her ear and bit it lightly, sending chills up her spine despite the warm weather.

"The only thing you need to worry about him taking from you is solos. I am so recruiting him for New Directions." Finn had wanted to keep up the sexy talk, but he couldn't help but laugh at his girlfriend's one-track mind. Before either of them could continue their banter, they heard actual chords coming from the stage and the drummer joined momentarily. Rachel settled back into Finn's chest and they both turned their attention to the stage where Puck was sidling up to the microphone stand. Something clicking in his mind, Finn stood up a little straighter and snapped his head up to make eye contact with Puck, who winked at him. At first he was a little embarrassed and pretty pissed at Puck, but the way his friend grinned at him and the way Rachel's hips swayed slightly against him changed his mood quickly. When Sam joined in to back Puck up on guitar and Puck grabbed the mic loosely in one hand, Finn leaned back down to sing the words into Rachel's ear as Puck drawled out the first verse.

_**Well, I can hear that rooster crowin' down the road.  
>I felt my eyes open up real slow and I looked around,<br>Makin' sure I hadn't checked out.  
>Cause there was an angel lyin' next to me.<br>I figured Heaven's where I must be,  
>Oh, but it was you, and baby what else could I do?<br>In that bed, I said a little prayer,  
>For one more day I'm still here.<strong>_

"Hmmm." Finn could feel Rachel vibrate against his chest as she sighed deeply and let out a low hum. He had his cheek pressed to her temple and was singing the words to her, his mouth so close that it brushed her ear and she could feel his breath with every word. "Nice song," she turned to smile at him, cutting off the words flowing from his mouth. "But I've never heard it before. Whose is it?"

His face burned and he considered lying but thought better of it. No lies. "Mine." She laughed cutely at him, the way she always did when he got confused over simple things.

"No sweetie. I don't mean who requested it. Whose is it, like, who performs it, or wrote it?" It was hard for him to answer with her face that close to his and her eyes studying him.

"I did. Last night." He stared back at her with a straight face and her eyes searched his face for some hint that he was joking. When she saw none she spun around to face him and rested her hands on his chest.

"Sweetie, that's amazing! I'm so proud of you. This is really good." She could still hear Puck singing the chorus behind her, and although she wasn't paying as much attention as she had been, the words were sinking in.

"All you babe," he grinned down at her. "All you. Wanna hear the rest?" She nodded and he pulled her close and swayed with her so that they were the only ones there dancing to the slow song, lowering his mouth back to her ear to sing the rest of the song he wrote for her._****_

_**I dig in my heels and try to slow this down,  
>I want my life to revolve around everything you do,<br>Oh, but that's all up to you.  
>Everything good seems to go so fast,<br>It's kinda like one big party you crash you weren't countin' on.  
>One day you're here and gone.<br>Baby all I wanna do is lay right here,  
>And hope it all don't disappear<strong>_

_**It's your world, and I'm just in it.  
>Ain't no other way to spin it.<br>Lucky me just bein' there when I get to hold you.  
>Yeah, I'm just here, to love you girl,<br>It's your world, and I'm just passin' through.**_

_**It's your world, and I'm just in it.  
>Ain't no other way to spin it.<br>Lucky me just bein' there when I get to hold you.  
>Yeah, I'm just here, to love you girl,<br>It's your world, and I'm just passin' through.**_

_**I'm just here to love you girl  
>It's your world and I'm just passin' through.<strong>_

When the song ended, Finn tried to look down into Rachel's face but it was buried in his chest. Removing one hand from her back, he used it to tilt her chin up and force her to look him in the eye. When she did, he noticed that her eyes were full of tears. "You don't like it? Did I mess it up?" His brow furrowed with worry as he waited to hear what was upsetting her. She shook her head forcefully then brought one hand from his chest to wipe the tears from her face.

"It was perfect. Just … perfect." She wrapped her hand around his neck and pulled him down to kiss her, then pulled away slightly and rested her forehead against his. That song was a side of Finn that she had never seen before, and she was amazed. She had no idea all that was in there, and she was especially thrilled that she got to bring it out in him. "And you wrote it …?"

"Last night. When I got home." He felt pressure on the back of his neck as Rachel once again pulled him down to her. She teased his lips with her tongue but pulled away before he could open his mouth to let her in.

"I love it. It's amazing. But Finn?"

"Yeah babe?"

"I don't want you passing through. I want you sticking around for a long, long time."

"Deal." He smiled back at her and pulled her a little closer.

"Oh, and Finn?"

"Yes Rachel?" He loved her and all, but sometimes the talking got out of hand. She took his hand in hers and looked up at him with big eyes.

"Remember how you said if I wanted to go all I had to do was look at you and take you by the hand …"

"You're not having fun?" He looked down at her, concerned. She shrugged.

"It's ok. But I think I'll be having a lot _more_ fun when you get me home. My dads' dinner started at nine, and it will probably last at least a couple hours, it's a work slash leisure thing. It's only 9:30 now." He squeezed her hand and started moving, very quickly, back toward his truck. They didn't even say goodbye to any of their friends on the way.

**Ok, so obviously Finn didn't really write "Just Passing Through" (nor did I, lol, all credit goes to Jason Aldean) and I didn't even initially intend to include an original song in this story (although it's seeming to be a trend with me, if you're reading my other story). But, I heard the song when I was kind of in the middle of this story, and it just seemed so appropriate. If you are unfamiliar with the song, please go listen to it on YouTube or somewhere. It's amazing.**


	11. Chapter 11

"Umm, Rach, I, um … Well, do you think you could move over to your side of the truck?" Finn and Rachel were at the one stoplight between Matt's house and Rachel's. He never realized before how long this light was.

"I-Is something wrong? Am I doing something wrong?" Rachel looked up at him, worried. Her left arm rested on his shoulder, her fingers twisting through his hair, while her right hand, which had started on his knee, was now resting firmly on his upper thigh. His song had made her feel so good, and she just wanted to do something to return the favor (and though she would never admit it, halfway through the song she had started feeling a very distinct dampness between her legs), which was why she had suggested leaving the party. She was terrified that asking her to move across the truck meant she wasn't doing something right.

"NO!" he answered, much more forcefully than he had intended. "I mean, no, you're doing everything right. That's kind of the problem." He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, afraid to look at her fully knowing he would probably lose all control. "I mean, if you don't move over there, and stop touching me, and … and _breathing_ on me, I don't think I'll be able to drive the rest of the way to your house."

Finn could feel her tense next to him. She didn't seem to be getting it. "I, I'm sorry," He heard the sadness in her voice. "I thought you would like it." He groaned and dropped his head back against the seat.

"Oh Rach, believe me, I like it," he reached down and gently moved her hand from his leg to the bulge beneath his zipper. He sucked in a breath when he felt her hand on him through his jeans. "Get it?" He finally turned to make eye contact with her and saw that her eyes had grown quite large. Her cheeks glowed and she chewed her bottom lip, biting back a giggle. Finally she nodded at him and undid her seatbelt, sliding across the seat next to the passenger door. He breathed a sigh of relief as the light turned green and he pressed the gas a little too hard, causing the truck to jerk forward.

Parked in Rachel's driveway, before she even had a chance to unclasp her seatbelt, Finn lunged across the truck bench and covered her mouth with his. He tangled one hand into her hair and grabbed her thigh, pushing her skirt up a little, with the other. She wrapped her hands around his neck so that her fingers locked behind his head and kissed him back, letting her tongue dance with his inside her mouth. "Finn," she cried breathlessly, trying to pull away.

"Mmm," he moaned into her mouth, pulling her head back to him and pushing his hand a little farther under her skirt.

"Finn, stop." She moved her hands to his chest and pushed him away. He looked back at her, confused. He didn't think just because they had sex once that they would suddenly start doing it all the time, but she started this, right? "Can we go inside? I mean, I don't want to do this, you know, here. It doesn't feel right."

Finn nodded vigorously. "Yeah, yeah. No, inside's good." He unlatched her seatbelt for her and hooked an arm around her waist to pull her across the seat and out of the truck with him. Giggling, she was barely able to grab her purse before he had her out of the truck and was carrying her to the front door, cradling her the way he had done when he carried her up the stairs to her room the day before. Not wanting to draw attention from the neighbors by spending too much time on the front porch, she refrained from kissing him and paid more attention to getting the key in her hand into the door's lock. Stumbling through the door, Finn buried his face in her neck, nipping and licking lightly at the skin there, and kicked the door closed behind him.

"Wait!" Rachel sputtered out when they were almost halfway to the stairs. He stopped and looked at her quizzically. "The door. Lock it." He nodded and stepped back to flip the deadbolt on the front door before running up to her room taking the stairs two at a time. Thankfully, her door was open so he went straight from the top of the stairs to her bed, dropping her on it and falling to hover over her. She noticed how it felt different this time than it had the first, but it wasn't a bad different. There were no secrets to reveal, no questions or reassurances to be made. There was only him, and her, and an ever-growing need and urgency between them.

He leaned down farther, supporting his weight on his forearms, and kissed her again. He tugged her bottom lip into his mouth with his teeth then sucked and massaged it with his tongue to ease the sting. He cradled her head in both his hands as she reached for the hem of his shirt, pulling up his polo and his t-shirt together. He lifted himself up, resting on the knee that he had pushed onto the bed between her legs, and yanked the shirts over his head. Without saying a word, he grabbed the bottom of her plain, short-sleeved sweater and did the same to her. Smiling at the sight of her almost naked upper body, he slipped one finger under the bra strap over her right shoulder and tugged it slowly down her arm, leaving a trail of kisses in its path. She watched him with a smile on her face, but when he turned to do the same to her left shoulder, her head fell back and she closed her eyes, letting this feeling of his kisses wash over her. When his hands slid under her to work at her bra clasp, she slid her own hands from his shoulders to his waist, quickly opening not only his belt, but his button and zipper as well. He wasn't quite sure how she was so good at that, but he wasn't going to complain.

Rachel did a mini-crunch, lifting her upper body off the bed slightly to make it easier for Finn to slide her bra completely off her shoulders. Once he had flung the article of clothing across the room she hooked her fingers into his belt loops and pulled herself closer to him, running her tongue along his collarbone before lightly skimming her teeth across a small constellation of freckles on his shoulder and sucking the area gently. She heard a sound that she could only describe as a growl escape his throat and she snapped her head up to look at him. He took the opportunity to bring his mouth hard onto hers, pulling a surprised gasp from her lips. Forcing her backward again he wrapped one arm around her waist and supported his weight on the other. He felt his jeans slip off his hips as she tugged on the belt loops. Climbing fully onto the bed he used his knees to part her legs. Once he had lowered himself so that her nipples brushed across his chest and gave him goosebumps, he shifted his weight to the arm behind Rachel's back and placed his free hand on her knee.

Rachel moaned into Finn's mouth as his hand travelled upward from her knee, slipping under her skirt and brushing the elastic leg of her panties with his fingertips. He smiled against her lips, loving the sounds he could elicit from her. Yeah, she had an amazing voice. And she loved to sing for whoever would listen, the more the better. But he was sure that no one besides him had ever heard these particular sounds before. Tightening his grip around her waist, he slipped his middle finger into her panties at the same time that he moved his mouth from hers to tug and suck on her earlobe. Unable to control herself, Rachel's hips lifted just slightly when his finger hit its target and he seized the opportunity to shuck off both her skirt and her now wet panties. Although he didn't actually make a sound, she could feel his hot breath as he laughed against her ear, relishing in what he could do to her. He kissed her hard just under her ear, moving down her neck until another low growl ripped itself from his throat when he felt her fingers slip under the waistband of his boxers. She smiled when he looked up to make eye contact with her then she pushed his boxers down as far as she could with her hands. When her hands wouldn't reach any farther, she lifted one leg to hook the underwear with her toes and push them to the floor. Instead of lowering her leg back to the bed, she wrapped it around his waist and pulled his hips down to meet hers. "Holy shit Rach," he hissed when their bodies met. For someone who had held him off this long, she sure knew how to move things along once the walls came down.

Realizing what he had just said, Finn looked at her and worried that Rachel was getting ready to lecture him about his use of profanity, but she just smirked back up at him. He kind of wondered where she had learned that look she kept giving him over the past couple days, but again, he wasn't complaining. Taking advantage of the window she had presented him with, he brought his mouth back down onto hers and immediately parted her lips with his tongue. He felt like they were wrestling within their mouths, but it wasn't actually aggressive. It was just … hot. She wrapped her hands around him and squeezed his butt tightly in both hands before grazing her nails all the way up his back just hard enough to give him chills. She rested her hands on his shoulder blades, digging her nails in a little deeper when, unable to handle it any longer, he lifted his hips and slid a hand between them to position himself at her opening. He pulled back from their kiss to look into her eyes, checking for a sign to continue. He was a little nervous. He wasn't sure how many times it would take for it to not hurt, and he hated seeing her tears the day before.

Rachel could see that Finn was hesitant, and she thought he was afraid of hurting her. She had tried not to let him see how much it hurt the day before, but she couldn't help the tears that leaked from her eyes. She studied his eyes, which stared back at her full of worry. Deciding to take matters into her own hands, literally, she snaked her hands back down his back and, hesitating momentarily when she reached the top of his butt, gripped his butt and pushed him into her.

Finn's face contorted and he gasped in shock as Rachel pushed him into her opening. He was in the process of summoning the mailman when he saw the look on her face. Even that momentary flash of pain in her eyes was much more powerful than any image he could conjure. "Are you? … Does it?" He didn't actually want to ask if it hurt, because that would break his heart.

"I'm good," she answered, and her voice didn't sound strained. He studied her face for any sign that she wasn't telling him the truth. "I mean, it kind of stung for a second, but it's good now." She smiled, hoping to encourage him.

"Promise?" he asked, and at the same time he moved his hips, pulling almost all the way out of her then pushing back in slowly. Her eyes closed and her head fell back as she moaned loudly. _'I'll take that as a yes,'_ he thought, smirking. He decided to be just a little more forceful than he had been the first time, hoping she would tell him if it wasn't good for her. He pulled out several more times, pushing back into her slowly, but a little more forcefully each time. If the expressions on her face and the noises slipping from her lips were any indication, it was good for her. He tangled one hand into her hair and pulled her up to meet his lips, smiling when she nipped at his lips with her teeth. He liked this side of Rachel, this forceful, take-charge, _naughty_ side. Maybe he liked it a little too much, because he was starting to feel all his tension build and concentrate in one very specific place. Knowing he didn't have a lot of time left (that would get better with practice, right?) he slipped his free hand between them and spread his hand flat across her stomach, finding her very sensitive nub with the pad of his thumb. He felt the air being sucked from his mouth as she gasped forcefully. When she threw her head back onto the bed he moved his mouth lower, teasing her collarbone with his lips and his tongue and his teeth. She dug her nails into his butt. _'That's gonna leave a mark,'_ he thought with a smile. He liked the idea of being branded by her. Although, he was going to have to be a little more mindful in the showers after football practice for the next couple days. The last thing he needed was for Puck or the others to start asking questions.

"Finn, I'm … I'm …" her voice trailed off into a moan before she could finish her sentence. The first time had been good, and nothing would ever top the closeness and the intimacy she had felt. But this was different. The pain was completely gone and all she could feel were her nerves, ablaze, all traveling to the same point in her body.

"I know baby," he said against her chest. "I know, just let it go."

"Oh God … oh … oh … FINN!" His name came out as something between a hiss and a scream, and it was more than he could take. He slid his hand from between them and grabbed her hair, using it to pull her lips to his, at the same time wrapping his arm even more tightly around her waist. She felt his mouth vibrate against hers as he let out a loud moan. His entire body tensed momentarily, then he collapsed on top of her, almost forgetting to support his weight so that he didn't crush her. He lay on top of her for a while, both of them trying to return their breathing to a steady pace. When he had regained control of his limbs he rolled off her, draping an arm across her waist and pulling her into him as he used his other elbow to prop himself up on his side.

"So … you didn't do _that_ last time," Finn smirked and traced small circles over Rachel's stomach.

"What are you talking about? I did too!" Rachel shot up and looked at him, terrified that he would think their first time wasn't good enough for her. She had been _satisfied_ both times, and the first time was one of the most amazing moments in her life, the second time was just different because she wasn't as scared and the pain wasn't really there.

He laughed at her. She really was adorable when she got all insecure, at least about things he could fix. He hated it when she got insecure about big things, real things, which he couldn't fix for her with a kiss or a hug or a sweet word. "No baby, not that. What do you think pushed me over the edge?" She blushed and he swept her hair off of her face as she let herself fall back onto the bed again. "No, I mean, you didn't you know, _scream_ … _my name_ like that."

"Oh," she blushed a little deeper. "Sorry," she murmured.

He pushed himself up a little more on his elbow and rolled forward so that he was kind of hovering over her, planting his hand firmly on her hip. "What the Hell are you apologizing for?" She looked up at him with wide eyes. "That was freakin' awesome! I mean, I did that!" He beamed at her and she giggled.

"Mmm," she purred at him. "You did. And you did a _very_ good job, I might add." She stroked his cheek and laced her fingers into his hair. Finn groaned and fell back onto the bed, dropping his forearm over his eyes so that he was no longer touching her. "Is something wrong?" she looked at him, concerned. She didn't know what she could possibly have done wrong this time, so she wondered if something else was bothering him.

"Oh no, everything's great," he replied sarcastically. "Except that I'm still naked, and you're still naked and gorgeous, and you're saying stuff like _that_," she couldn't help but smile, "and your dads could be home any time so there's NOTHING I can do about it." He laughed bitterly and dropped his hand to his side.

Rachel leaned over to kiss his temple while lacing her fingers into his. "We've got our whole lives," she whispered into his ear, earning her a soft kiss on the lips. "But you are right," she continued in a louder, normal tone of voice. "We do need to fix this before they get home." She slid off the bed, tossing him various articles of clothing as she came to them. He knew he shouldn't enjoy watching her walk around and pick up his clothes so that they could get dressed, he should want her still in bed naked with him, but she was so adorable that he couldn't help himself. Once she had thrown him all his clothes and scooped up all of hers, she disappeared into her closet. As he was tying his sneakers, sitting on her bed fully dressed, she came out of her closet wearing these flannel pajama pants that were completely un-Rachel and an old dance camp t-shirt and pulling her hair into a messy ponytail. He couldn't keep his eyes off her.

She lowered her eyes and toyed with the hem of her shirt. "Sorry, it's just, well, I hoped we were comfortable enough now that it would be ok to sit on the couch with you in my pjs. Did I just totally shatter your illusion of me?"

He laughed and walked across the room to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and smiling down at her. "Rach, there is no illusion. I love you in your animal sweaters, I love you in that weird cat suit thing, even if it did freak me out, I love you in your pajamas, and I love you in nothing." He wiggled his eyebrows at her and she slapped playfully at his chest.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," he kissed the tip of her nose. "Now, what was that about getting to cuddle you in your pajamas on the couch?" She smiled at him.

"I was kind of hoping you could stay with me until my dads get home," she gave him that Bambi look that he had such a hard time resisting, not that he even wanted to resist her right now. "Would that be ok? Will your mom mind?"

"Of course it's ok. More than ok," he squeezed her against him. "And mom's not expecting me home at all tonight; I'm staying over at Puck's. And we both know _he_ won't be home anytime soon."

Finn was settled on the couch waiting for Rachel to return with the popcorn she had disappeared to the kitchen to make. She leaned over the back of the couch and plopped the bowl into his lap gently. Before she had a chance to push herself away he grabbed her wrist and kissed the inside of it. She sighed contentedly and kissed the top of his head, then squealed as he yanked her arm, pulling her over the back of the couch so that her head landed in his lap next to the popcorn bowl. She wrinkled her nose at him as he picked a piece of popcorn off her cheek and popped it into his mouth. Laughing, he laid the remote on her stomach. "Last few times I was here you let me have the remote. I guess it's only fair."

Rachel picked up the remote, but she didn't turn on the television. She just turned the remote over and over in her hands nervously. "Everything ok babe?" Finn dropped a piece of popcorn into her mouth when she opened it to speak, laughing at the look of surprise on her face.

"Do me a favor?" She looked at him, upside down. He nodded and set the popcorn on the end table, pulling her up into his lap more. "Sing it again?" He furrowed his brows and looked at her in confusion. "Your song. Sing it for me?" He smoothed her hair back from her forehead and smiled crookedly at the adorable childlike look of hope in her eyes.

"Well, first of all, it's not _my_ song. It's _your_ song, or _our_ song. Secondly, I will sing that song for you any time you want, every day for the rest of our lives if that's what you want." She closed her eyes and snuggled into him. He ran his hand over her forehead once again and lifted a section of her hair between his fingers, twirling it as he sang. He watched her eyes flutter as she hummed along. He knew that he would do anything in his power to fulfill that promise. He was going to do whatever it took to make sure he was there to sing that song to her every day for the rest of her life.

**Ok, I'm at that point again. I could stop here (I tried to make it so that this would be an acceptable ending) or I could keep going. Now, keep in mind that the story is about firsts (first time to make a decision about her career, first time to choose something/someone over her career, first time to have sex, first party, and honestly, first time having a normal friendly conversation with Quinn). I have a few more ideas, but I would love some suggestions if you want me to keep going. And really, I would just love comments/reviews so I know what I am doing right and if you even want me to go on at all.**

**Thanks for reading!**


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